...a blog by Richard Flowers

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Day 1884: Pancake Day


I should have written this diary yesterday, but Daddy Richard was TOO BUSY playing the STAR WARS game on the computer and wouldn’t let me have a go! He is MEAN!

He says that it is still yesterday in HAWAII. Humph!

Sean Connery's CAR was an Austin Martin DB5 with machine guns and rotating number plates and ejector seat. Roger Moore's CAR was a Lotus Esprit which could turn into a submarine. And Pearce Brosnan's CAR was an Austin Martin Vanquish which could turn invisible! (Which was good because his last car was CHOPPED IN HALF by the BADDIES!!!)

Can you guess what my very MOST FAVOURITE THING in the whole world is?

It's CARS!

Cars are shiny metal boxes in exciting shapes with a wheel at each corner and one in the middle for steering with. Cars are sometimes called Motor Cars because they have a motor in them which makes them go!

I have made Daddy go and look up cars on the Internet. Cars were invented by Herr Karl Benz in Germany on the 3rd of July 1886 (which means that cars are nearly 120 years old). Herr is German, and even though it sounds the same as Hair it does not mean FLUFFY, it is German for Mr.

Daddy Richard’s car is called PENFOLD and Penfold is named after the place when he bought his car (and also after Danger Mouse’s friend!). Penfold is a green Vauxhall Frontera – which means great big TANK to anyone driving a smaller car. Penfold is BAD FORM for a Liberal Daddy because big cars are BAD for the ENVIRONMENT. This is to do with greenhouse GAS – which I think is a polite way of talking about FARTING!

We do not let Daddy use Penfold very often, though, so hopefully that is better.

Elephants have invented GARDENING and SATELLITE TRACKING and all sorts of GOOD stuff, but we have not invented CARS. I THINK this is because we have big flat feet and are VERY GOOD for WALKING everywhere. Anyway, I have to admit that you have one over us there.

Sometimes Daddy Richard lets me sit in his CAR and this is very exciting. Because I am only a little elephant (SO FAR!) my fluffy feet do not reach the pedals so I cannot make Penfold go.

[R:thank the lord!]

I do not think that Penfold has an ejector seat – but I wouldn’t use it anyway because that is Daddy Alex’s seat.

And now Mr Balloon is on the radio. Daddy’s going that funny colour he goes before he starts shouting. I must go and look up the word VACUOUS.


Mr Balloon said he was in favour of NICE things and against NASTY things.

He said he was in favour of saving the ENVIRONMENT because that was NICE

But he was against stopping people from making POLLUTION because that would be NASTY.

My head may be full of wool but this seems sensible to me. I don't know why Daddy is foaming at the mouth!

I have now looked up VACUOUS: Devoid of matter; empty – this is how balloons WORK isn't it!


Richard Gadsden said...

This is gorgeous and really cheers me up each day. Please please keep it up Richard/Alex - whichever of you is writing it.

Love and hugs.


Alex Wilcock said...

Tsk! Millennium's writing it, Richard. Can't you read? He'll be very pleased, though ;-)

Though he is gorgeous, and so is his special confidant, who you may notices occasionally adds little notes and whom I must now follow bedwards (nod, wink).

Besides, I have my own blog and can be quite silly enough there on my own behalf...

MatGB said...

You're nuts. Both of you. And the Elephant. You have, however, made me laugh, and that's the best analysis of Dave I've seen. Mr Balloon it is then.