...a blog by Richard Flowers

Monday, March 20, 2006

Day 1902: Loans


WELL, no one has offered to loan me ONE MILLION POUNDS so that I can buy myself the title of LORD FLUFFYPHANT yet.


There is a great deal of fuss in the newspapers about this. I do not know why. My Daddy Richard is ALWAYS getting rubbish junk-mail in the post saying "have a squillion pound loan and your dreams could come true". Daddy always puts these in the recycling, but probably Mr Blair is just much more GULLIBLE!

(Like the way he always falls for everything he is told by the American President Mr DARTH CHENEY and his pet monkey.)

I have noticed that the Conservatories keep trying to remind everyone about Liberal Prime Minister Mr LLOYD GEORGE selling Peerages like Mr Blair does. If the most recent Liberal dodgy doings that they can come up with is 1922 then REALLY this is a good thing.

A friend of Mr Balloon's called Mr Boy George was on the telly in the morning saying that Mr Balloon would have something interesting to say (so this was BIG news, although it does not appear to have turned out true.) Boy George said that Mr Balloon would be announcing that from now on the Conservatories will stop keeping secret where they get all their money from.

Daddy Richard thinks that this means that someone has just paid off Mr Balloon's overdraft for him.

And now they will stop taking bungs donations of over a million pounds.

"What are the chance that the Tories know 200 people who can give them £100,000 compared to Labour only knowing 20 people who can give them a £million?"

My Daddy is VERY cynical in the mornings!

"We haven't just come up with these policies overnight," said Boy George. "We've spent the last three months getting them ready for when this scandal broke."

Which is a PRETTY AMAZING COINCIDENCE, if you think about it.

Mr Balloon has apparently had another idea: he will reduce MPs by 10%. Some people have suggested that this is because Mr Balloon and his friend Boy George are really HOBBITS: if all the other MPs get 10% smaller then perhaps they will stop ignoring Mr Balloon.

I forgot to say "thank you" to Mr Will for reminding me of the Star Wars game yesterday.

No comments: