...a blog by Richard Flowers

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Day 1897: It's an Honour


Do you remember how the HOUSE OF LORDS put Mr Blair’s nose out of joint over the I.D.IOT CARDS?

Well, I have discovered that the House of Lords is actually a sort of club that you can join. It has a membership fee of ONE MILLION DOLLARS POUNDS that you have to pay to Mr Blair.

I wonder why he makes such a fuss when he is the one selling the tickets?

I should like to join this club.

Although I am very happy being called Millennium Dome, I could ALSO be called LORD FLUFFYPHANT. There are too many DINOSAURS but not nearly enough ELEPHANTS in your legislature and anyway, I think that I would look very good on the red leather sofas.

(So long as nobody SAT ON ME!!!! I am NOT that sort of WOOLSACK!!!)

On the other fluffy foot, it is a very WEIRD system where Mr Blair gets to pick who are LORDS. AND he also gets to choose who are KNIGHTS and BISHOPS. Is it like a game of CHESS?

I suppose Mr Blair's friends ask: "would you like a CHEQUE, MATE?"

Daddy says that this is a VERY AWFUL joke.

People seem to be awfully upset about Mr Blair selling honours like this and say that it brings the whole honours system into disrepute. But frankly if you are going to give away prizes for being friends with Mr Blair, you should ask what sort of repute you start with!

That baldy man from the television has been making a bit of a fuss about this too! The baldy man is called NICK MATE-OF-DAVE ROBINSON and just like me, he has a DIARY!

Perhaps someone can explain to me why it is NAUGHTY when one person fixes it for their CHUMS to be in the HOUSE OF LORDS and NOT NAUGHTY when another person fixes it for their CHUM to be leader of the CONSERVATORY PARTY?

Meanwhile, in the paper today, Daddy Richard learned that the police have been using the OYSTER CARDS on the Underground to track people’s movements.

Fortunately, I do not NEED an Oyster Card because I am a SOFT TOY. This is probably why Mr Blair’s stormtroopers have not tracked me down over GLORIFYING JAMES BOND yet!

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