...a blog by Richard Flowers

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Day 1916: Sausage and Mash


We have gotten safely back to Earth.

I tried to persuade Flash Gladstone to clip a bit off of BIG BEN (like the SLITHEEN did last year in DOCTOR WHO) but he said "No!" because he got into enough trouble when he winged WEMBLEY STADIUM a couple of weeks ago.

No sooner do I get back than I discover that my Daddies have been inviting people to dinner in my absence! How rude is THAT!

Daddy Richard has been using MY recipe for SAUSAGES AND MASH, and if HE can use it, then so can you.

Here is what to do:

Buy some NICE SAUSAGES and MARIS PIPER potatoes. Use lots because this is yummy.

Start by chopping up the POTATOES. Chop them up QUITE SMALL and bung them all into a STAINLESS STEEL pan. Put water in the pan too, so that it covers the potatoes. Add a pinch of salt to help them boil.

Put the pan on the COOKER. Heat it up to that the water boils and then let it SIMMER. KEEP an eye on it – if it is too hot it will boil over and you will get an INCREDIBLE potato mess to try and clean off your cooker before Daddy comes back!

Put the SAUSAGES under the GRILL. You CAN fry them if you MUST, but this is already BAD ENOUGH for you with all the starch and butter in the MASH!

Remember to turn the sausages or they will turn to CHARCOAL on one side and taste YUCKY!

After about quarter of an hour, TEST the potatoes with a knife – the one you chopped them up with will do nicely. Spear one of the bits of potato. If it stick onto the knife then they aren't done yet. If it slides off then they are ready.

Drain off all the boiling water. Put the pan back onto the hot hob and leave it there for a bit in order to steam off the rest of the water. DON'T forget about it though, or the potatoes will BURN.

Take the pan off the hob again and add BUTTER, Daddy chops three or four thin slices off of the end of an ordinary sized block of butter. Stick the butter slices into the potatoes and let them melt for a moment or two.

Then get an ELECTRIC MIXER and PULVERISE those potatoes.

This is why you must use a stainless steel pan or your pan will be RUINED! The potatoes should smear into nice creamy mash quite quickly. DON'T do it for too long or you whisk lots of AIR into the mash which makes it taste all thin and watery.

Don't forget to do GRAVY!

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