...a blog by Richard Flowers

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Day 1918: Bonkers, Bladders and Balloons


It is BAD news in the polls today for Mr Balloon with the SHOCK news that he has been voted "worst-dressed man in Britain"!

(Oh, and also his Conservatory team seem to be doing worser in the opinion polls again.)

And then to make matters worse, he has gone and put his foot in it by calling the UKIP party people nasty names.

This seems very odd, as the ONLY policy that Mr Balloon actually HAS at the moment is to quit the European Peoples Party group in the European Parliament because they are not NUTTY enough and join the UKIPPERs on the Outer Fringes!

I suspect that Mr Balloon has done this DELIBERATELY so that the UKIPPERs will make a fuss, then people will think "Ah, that Mr Balloon – he isn't AS nutty as those boring old so-and-sos from UKIP!"

(ACTUALLY, I THINK that UKIP might be the British SLEEP party and their name is short for "yoU Kip". Certainly, droning on about Europe being BAAAAAD is very BORING and always put ME to sleep. I wonder if MR FROWN is in UKIP too?)

Maybe he is hoping that everyone will forget that he wrote the Conservatory's VERY nutty manifesto last year: we all know that HE wants to forget that.

I do not think that calling people names goes well with his "I'm So Nice" image, though.

In other news, SCIENTISTS say that they have found a way of growing BLADDERS in their laboratory, as this YUCKY PICTURE shows!

This is NOT NEWS.

Mr Blair has been making BACKBENCHERS in this way for YEARS.

Later on today, Mr Blair and Mr Balloon will be getting together in order to fix the loans for peerages party funding row.

Now call me OLD FASHIONED but doesn't this sound just a little bit like AL CAPONE and EAST SIDE GANG getting together to sort out all the racketeering in Chicago?

Mr Balloon said : "I am the only leader of a major political party that has actually come up with sensible proposals for reforming political party finance in this country and for cleaning it up"

Oooh, he is SUCH a FIBBER!!!!

Mr the Merciless said all this LAST MONTH and Mr Balloon is JUST COPYING!

Someone should check that Mr Balloon does with his MOBILE PHONE in EXAMS as well!!!

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