...a blog by Richard Flowers

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Day 1932: I can sing a Rainbow


Colours seem to be very POPULAR with the politicians today.

In the MORNING, Mr Balloon was on the RADIO saying that if you want to vote BLUE you'll end up feeling GREEN (or something like that).

I have had a bit of a look at Mr Balloon's claim that his team are best at RECYCLING. (Real, environmental recycling, that is – not what Mr Frown keeps doing with Liberal Democrat Policies.)

I found this press cutting from the Department of Food and Rural Affairs (or DEATHRAY as it is sometimes called): clicksy

It looks like Mr Balloon does have some cause to be pleased with his team: six of the top ten are under Conservatory control, and another three are run by the Conservatories with support of Liberal Democrats or Independents.

Only one council in the top ten is run by someone else, and that is Liberal Democrat Harborough in the East Midlands, and they are also the most improved Council in England. Well done Harborough!

Looking further, though, I noticed that there is a list for Best Recyclers (not including COMPOSTING). And on that list, Mr Balloon does not do quite so well. Instead of nine there are only six Conservatory councils on that list, and rather than just one there are four Liberal Democrat led councils.

So, although Mr Balloon is probably right about his team being good at recycling, you need to watch out for when he is talking COMPOST!

I cannot pass on by without mentioning the LIST OF SHAME: the ten worst councils for recycling. I am VERY SORRY to have to report that there IS a Liberal Council on that list. Boo! In fact, Mr Balloon and Mr The Merciless should share equally in the shame because they both have the same number of teams on the list.

Of course both of them can be considerably less CHAGRINED than Mr Blair, who controls no less than six of the councils and is also stiffed for the three-party-control of the Wirral.

To be FAIR, the results may be more influenced by GEOGRAPHY than by who is in charge of the council. It is probably a LOT easier to meet your recycling targets in a nice leafy suburb peopled by the well to do than it is to persuade people to recycle in an urban hellhole ruled over by NEWTZILLA.

Anyway, later in the evening, the Labour were on the telly with their new advert for DAVE THE CHAMELEON.

Is Mr Blair opening a PET SHOP, perhaps? If so, he should remember that the PET SHOP BOYS have gone off him, what with him being bonkers in favour of I.D.IOT cards.

You have to admit, that Mr Balloon does leave himself A BIT open to this sort of criticism by having NO POLICIES and Dave the Chameleon is PRETTY FUNNY. If this was someone's comedy blog…

[R: don't look at me like that, my elephant]

…then it would be considered COOL and maybe even FROODY.

On the other fluffy foot, this is being produced by the people who are supposed to be RUNNING the COUNTRY! If you are the sort of UNDERGRADUATE who finds TELLYTUBBIES a bit too taxing, is GOVERNMENT really the best place to employ your talents?

Maybe you should go out and do some RECYCLING and then Mr Blair would not have so much to be ashamed of!

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