...a blog by Richard Flowers

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Day 3287: A Year in Millennium aka Ooh, You Are Orwell… but I like you!

New Year’s Eve:

As the much-loved Fluffy Elephant of Time paraglides towards the Bouncy Castle of Fate and wonders why it’s blocking the Landing Pad of Destiny, we realise that the Old Year is likewise headed for a rubbery conclusion and reflect on what a year it’s been.

Anyway, the notion of nonimating my fluffy self for this year’s Mr Eric Blair Awards was making its way through my fluffy head, and it occurred to me that I am a MUCH more famouser author than him so I should be handing out awards of my OWN… and here they are!

First, the Memorial Mr Lembit Opik Asteroid Award for making a BIG SPLASH goes to Mr Mark Reckons not just for probably the most influential blog post of the year, but also for the House of Comments podcast (although, is it just me or does it come out a bit QUIET on the old iPod?), for being Director General of the BBC, and for his general ubiquity this year!

The Mr Sir Christopher Lee Genuine Sith Lightning Award for blasting Master Irfan goes to the Honourable Lady Mark for blasting Master Irfan!

The omigod he looks like Mr Stephen Tall’s gay brother Award goes to Mr Matthew Goode (aka Ozymandias, the gay-one-who-is-obviously-the-villain in the Watchpersons movie) as seen on Film 2009!

The omigod he DOES look like a Sontaran Award goes to Mr Andy Hinton… he knows why!

And finally, the COVETED top prize, the Award-winning Auntie Alix Mortimer Award for Awesomeness goes to… Auntie Helen for all her hard work being the SECRET MASTERMIND behind the Lib Dem Blogosphere, for reading the Sainted Earl Conrad, for knowing that the next decade doesn’t start until 2011, for getting her initials – HD – on every new flatscreen telly in the country, for remaining UNSHOCKABLE in the face of all that Auntie Jennie and the Honourable Lady Mark could muster, and for all round general being brilliantness!

So, with that happy announcement, I now offer a glance back at some of the events that have made up 2009, (which might also be a few suggestions for what I might submit to the Orwell Prize 2009 committee! Any other suggestions from anyone more than welcome!!).

Ten entries on "The Very Fluffy Diary of Millennium Dome, Elephant"

On Mr Charlie Brooker in the Guardian denouncing the Sinister Minister, Mr Jack Straw, and Hard Labour in general: On Bovril Buttered Brainwreck and (at the time former) Cabinet Minister Mr Peter Vain calling for reform of the law that he broke: On Mr Balloon apologising for all the Conservatories’ mistakes in the run up to the Credit Crunch: Responding to Mr Rupert the Bear-with-a-sore-head Read, Green Party candidate in the East of England, writing for Labour Conspiracy: On the release of Mr Muhammad al Megrahi: On Mr Daniel Hangman MEP and his list of political "heroes": On the Government requiring criminal records checks for anyone even remotely connected to working with children: On Mr Frown's Conference speech: On former Second Home Secretary Ms Jacquie Spliff apologising for her second home allowance claim: And responding to the idea that we should cut benefits in order to reduce the budget deficit:
Ten Entries on "Liberal Democrat Voice"
January: February: March: April: May: June: July: August: September: October and November:

…and ten five more Elephant Interviews
With Very-nearly-almost-but-not-quite-President Mr Governor Howard Dean: With Baroness Ros Scott: With Mr Vince “the Power” Cable: With Mr Chris Huhney-Monster: And with someone called Mr Nick Clegg:
Here’s to more fun in 2010. Have a Happy New Year, everybody!



Andy said...

Woohoooo! I wunned an award!


Mark Thompson said...

Thank you very much for my Memorial Lembit Opik Asteroid Award!

And I'll try to speak up on the podcast a bit more next year!

Unknown said...

Millennium, thank you for such a wonderful (and undeserved)accolade!

Sending an extra bun for my favourite nephew,

Auntie Helen