Monday
Time for
some more fluffiness. Did you miss me?
Anyway, Mr Sir
Kier Starmer has resigned.
Great Britain
will have another new Prime Monster.
We are
seeing a lot of people saying: "oh no, not another one," and talk of how
many Prime Monsters we have had in the last decade, and is Britain UNGOVERNABLE.
But it is
actually a GOOD THING that a boss who is not performing can be asked to step
down by people lower down the organisation. Something a LOT of British
businesses might want to think about.
So, Mr Andy
"Crash and" Burnham – now that he has the backing of Mr Wesley
"Coronation" Streeting – will be Prime Monster.
So I think
we should at least be war gaming the possibility of A GENERAL ELECTION IN
OCTOBER.
Why?
Because right
now, Mr Nigel Frogage, owner of one of the extreme "R" parties
(Reset? Reverse? Reflux?) is in trouble at the moment, and still trying to
avoid questions about a dodgy £5 million quid bung. And he's just lost three
significant by-elections in a row, all showing that the voters will unite
behind whoever is NOT standing for Mr Frog.
So, if
there’s even the slightest economic recovery from the Straits of Hormuz being
reopened, plus a "honeymoon bounce”, Burnham has got to AT LEAST consider
that going now could get five more years and mandate for (among other things
electoral reform) when going at the end of May 2029 could lead to DISASTER.
And
remember, Mr Burnham was part of Mr Gordon Frown’s Cabinet, and saw first-hand a
honeymoon evaporate after Mr Frown decided not to go for his own mandate.
And what
about Mr Sir Kier?
His BIGGEST
mistake was thinking that he WON the election in 2024, rather than the Tories
LOSING it by being catastrophically terribly awful.
(Something
many decent Liberal Democrats in all those seats WE won might want to be thinking
about too.)
His NEXT
BIGGEST mistake was to CARRY ON the Tory policy of being catastrophically
terribly awful.
People voted
him in for CHANGE and he cave them NO CHANGE.
Cuts to
benefits, less spending on services – he did not even change the Tory record!
Worst of
all, though, as a human rights lawyer he’s overseen the WORST ATTACK on our
human rights in my fluffy lifetime, with particularly trans people – who can't
even go to the loo any more! – but also immigrant communities much worse off,
pandering to the absolute worst of fascist rhetoric, and now cutting off the socials for under sixteens. Or even under eighteens, in some versions. Let them all stare at the wall.
He feels
betrayed?
Try being QUEER
or BROWN or YOUNG, Sir Kier.
And people
seem to forget that he should have resigned in disgrace over the scandal of
appointing the fractally resigning Mr Peter Mandelbrot as Ambassador to
President Blimp.
But because
of Labour SHENANIGANS (they wanted him to stay on to take the blame for the
inevitable disastrous local election results) he somehow just didn’t.
(He threw
his chief of staff, Mr Morgan McSweeny-Todd under the bus instead.)
And people
seem to forget that he should have resigned in disgrace over the inevitably
disastrous local election results.
But because
of Labour SHENANIGANS (Mr Burnhams wasn't in Parliament yet, and Mr Coronation
Streeting wasn't getting the support and Ms Angela Crayola was still in trouble
with the tax man) he somehow just didn’t.
(He brought
back his chief of staff, Mr Morgan McSweeny-Todd instead.)
So,
HONESTLY, it does feel a bit PAST TIME for him to be done.
It's
actually pretty TYPICAL – if you take the long view – that Great Britain has
LOT of short-lived Prime Monsters with occasional REALLY LONG serving ones.
The SURPRISING
thing really is that we had TWO (Mrs Lady Thatcher and Lord Tonty Blairimort) who
lasted three terms. And both of them went quite round the twist in the end.
Mr Major
minor and Mr David Balloon managed a term and a bit, which seemed like
stability, and then we've had a load of others who can basically be measured in
LETTUCES.
And there's
a LOT MORE to say about HOW we elect our Prime Monsters or Members of
Parliament. Because we choose people who are good at GETTING ELECTED, not
people who are good at RUNNING THE COUNTRY. And these are very NOT THE SAME.
But anyway, farewell
then Mr Sir Kier.
And welcome
to our new lettuce overlord.
