Day 9304: So Farewell Then, Kier Starmer

 Monday

 

Time for some more fluffiness. Did you miss me?

 

Anyway, Mr Sir Kier Starmer has resigned.

Great Britain will have another new Prime Monster.

We are seeing a lot of people saying: "oh no, not another one," and talk of how many Prime Monsters we have had in the last decade, and is Britain UNGOVERNABLE.

But it is actually a GOOD THING that a boss who is not performing can be asked to step down by people lower down the organisation. Something a LOT of British businesses might want to think about.

 

So, Mr Andy "Crash and" Burnham – now that he has the backing of Mr Wesley "Coronation" Streeting – will be Prime Monster.

So I think we should at least be war gaming the possibility of A GENERAL ELECTION IN OCTOBER.

 

Why?

Because right now, Mr Nigel Frogage, owner of one of the extreme "R" parties (Reset? Reverse? Reflux?) is in trouble at the moment, and still trying to avoid questions about a dodgy £5 million quid bung. And he's just lost three significant by-elections in a row, all showing that the voters will unite behind whoever is NOT standing for Mr Frog.

So, if there’s even the slightest economic recovery from the Straits of Hormuz being reopened, plus a "honeymoon bounce”, Burnham has got to AT LEAST consider that going now could get five more years and mandate for (among other things electoral reform) when going at the end of May 2029 could lead to DISASTER.

And remember, Mr Burnham was part of Mr Gordon Frown’s Cabinet, and saw first-hand a honeymoon evaporate after Mr Frown decided not to go for his own mandate.

 

And what about Mr Sir Kier?

His BIGGEST mistake was thinking that he WON the election in 2024, rather than the Tories LOSING it by being catastrophically terribly awful.

(Something many decent Liberal Democrats in all those seats WE won might want to be thinking about too.)

His NEXT BIGGEST mistake was to CARRY ON the Tory policy of being catastrophically terribly awful.

People voted him in for CHANGE and he cave them NO CHANGE.

Cuts to benefits, less spending on services – he did not even change the Tory record!

Worst of all, though, as a human rights lawyer he’s overseen the WORST ATTACK on our human rights in my fluffy lifetime, with particularly trans people – who can't even go to the loo any more! – but also immigrant communities much worse off, pandering to the absolute worst of fascist rhetoric, and now cutting off the socials for under sixteens. Or even under eighteens, in some versions. Let them all stare at the wall.

He feels betrayed?

Try being QUEER or BROWN or YOUNG, Sir Kier.

 

And people seem to forget that he should have resigned in disgrace over the scandal of appointing the fractally resigning Mr Peter Mandelbrot as Ambassador to President Blimp.

But because of Labour SHENANIGANS (they wanted him to stay on to take the blame for the inevitable disastrous local election results) he somehow just didn’t.

(He threw his chief of staff, Mr Morgan McSweeny-Todd under the bus instead.)

And people seem to forget that he should have resigned in disgrace over the inevitably disastrous local election results.

But because of Labour SHENANIGANS (Mr Burnhams wasn't in Parliament yet, and Mr Coronation Streeting wasn't getting the support and Ms Angela Crayola was still in trouble with the tax man) he somehow just didn’t.

(He brought back his chief of staff, Mr Morgan McSweeny-Todd instead.)

 

So, HONESTLY, it does feel a bit PAST TIME for him to be done.

 

It's actually pretty TYPICAL – if you take the long view – that Great Britain has LOT of short-lived Prime Monsters with occasional REALLY LONG serving ones.

The SURPRISING thing really is that we had TWO (Mrs Lady Thatcher and Lord Tonty Blairimort) who lasted three terms. And both of them went quite round the twist in the end.

Mr Major minor and Mr David Balloon managed a term and a bit, which seemed like stability, and then we've had a load of others who can basically be measured in LETTUCES.

And there's a LOT MORE to say about HOW we elect our Prime Monsters or Members of Parliament. Because we choose people who are good at GETTING ELECTED, not people who are good at RUNNING THE COUNTRY. And these are very NOT THE SAME.

 

But anyway, farewell then Mr Sir Kier.

And welcome to our new lettuce overlord.