His Most Britannic Fifth-Wheeledness has reached the age of the bus pass.
As Mr Rory Bremner has joked in the past: Mrs the Queen has told the Prince that he will ascend to the throne in the traditional manner… or in her PRECISE words: "over my dead body".
What, then, to get for the Man Who Has Everything (except a Job)?
Well, how about a PLANET of his very own!
Behold: Formalhaut Prime!
Untainted by architectural carbuncles; unlikely to be reduced to grey goo by nanotechnology; almost certainly immaculate of GM agriculture. And a full twenty-five light years away, well outside any territory currently ruled by Mrs the Queen.
OK, so it's probably a GAS GIANT – but what better place to practice being a Right Royal Windbag?
Happy Birthday, Your Highness! Now, someone blast him into space!