Day 2484: Thunderballs Up

Saturday:


Today, children, "Sesame Street" was brought to you by the letters "W" and "W" and by the number "3".

Allegedly, when President Billary-Hillary's team left the White House in January 2001, they HILARIOUSLY sabotaged all of the keyboards, taking away the letter "W"s. Clearly, the current bunch have a similar jape in mind that will leave incoming President Hillary-Billary in need of "W"s in ABUNDANCE!

This is because the Monkey-in-Chief is now so CRAZED that he is threatening World War part Three against Iran.

This was supported by the ACTUAL President, Darth Cheney.

And Lord Blairimort was in town too, to deliver a WARNING from HISTORY: he compared today's events to the March of Fascism in the 1930's. Remember how a FAR-RIGHT ideology swept a DERANGED LUNATIC into power, allowing him to OVERTURN DEMOCRACY and, using an ALLEGED threat to his nation's SECURITY allied to RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY, started to INVADE OTHER COUNTRIES.

It is all so obvious! Finally, Lord Blairimort understands… hang on, he's talking about the OTHER SIDE!

The SERIOUS development over Iran's nuclear programme seem to be that the balance of power INSIDE Iran (by which I mean who is FLAVOUR of the MONTH with supreme religious authority Ayatollah Khammeni) has tipped further towards President Armageddon-jab, resulting in the resignation of Mr Ali Laryngitis.

Not that Mr Laryngitis could be described as a "MODERATE", but at least he could be described as "SANE", and – maybe even more importantly – willing to negotiate. You may remember that it was his intervention that led to the release of captured British sailors at Easter time.

The Iranians aren't STUPID. But they are ISOLATED and surrounded by – as they see it – dangerous and quite-possibly-nuclear-armed rivals backed by Western Powers (India, Israel and now Iraq, and that's just sticking to the "I"s on the list!) You can bet that the RELIGIOUS differences do not help either. This makes them – for all their POSTURING – frightened. And frightened people do silly and dangerous things. (e.g. the US Senate voting for the PATRIOT act!)

It is PROBABLY true that Iran is supporting TERRORISTS to try and drive America (oh, and Britain, as though we actually count) out of Iraq – just like America backed the Mujahideen in their fight to drive the Russians out of Afghanistan. And it is ALSO probably true that Iran would like to obtain "The Bomb" – on its own, the differential treatment meted out to Iraq and North Korea would make that look like an entirely sensible project!

Thanks to our own actions, we look HYPOCRITICAL when we condemn behaviour in Iran that we ourselves are either party to it, or overlook when our allies do it. (Has ANYONE said that Israel just randomly BLOWING UP bits of Syria might be, just might be, a bit wrong? Not that we want Syria to have atom bombs any more than we want Iran to, and I am sure we are all VERY GRATEFUL to the Israeli Air force for putting a stop to it, and hope that their bombs haven't scattered radioactive material all over the Middle East, but you can – I hope – see that by implicitly CONDONING that sort of thing, our protests to Iran about them giving IUD's to insurgents might sound a little bit HOLLOW.)

The government of Iran is neither particularly NICE nor particularly SAFE. We need to work hard to PERSUADE them that another path will be better for them as well as for us. But calling them "Nazis" is just childish. And threatening them with FIERY NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE is just downright BONKERS!


And anyway, it turns out that the Americans don't even know where their OWN nuclear weapons are!

This is the sort of thing that gets you SUED by Mr Kevin McClory! In developments sounding SUSPICIOUSLY SIMILAR to the plot of the 1965 James Bond film, armed nuclear weapons were loaded onto an American bomber and flown across the country by the unsuspecting crew. On landing, the removal of the payload was supervised by a gentleman seen stroking a white cat…