Thursday was the BIG FINISH to our Conference, but before the main act, we had a warm up from Mr Clogg in the debate on the Surveillance Society.
This was another opportunity for him to show off his Civil Liberties credentials and charming smile at the same time.
Oddly, the media seem to have spent MOST of the week OBSESSING about whether Mr Clogg (or possibly Mr Hewn) was about to mount a leadership bid or whether Sir Mr the Merciless was going to banish him (or them) to the ICE MOON of FRIDGIA.
This may NOT be entirely BAD for the party.
I am not such a DUMB elephant as to think that ANY news is GOOD news – just ask poor Mr Charles (and the LEAST said about Mr Flaky Oaten Wheat the BETTER!) However, this story does have a number of, as the media themselves might put it, UP SIDES.
Firstly we get to keep three top Liberal Democrat faces in the news, instead of the usual just one. Secondly, Mr Clogg gets to look OPEN and HONEST by answering a question frankly but WITHOUT having to stab Sir Mr the Merciless in the back; at the same time, Mr Hewn gets to look LOYAL and STEADFAST by sticking to the "no vacancy" position when asked to comment on Mr Clogg. Thirdly, and this is the best bit, while the media might get HOOKED by the "human interest story" of "leadership rivals", they also get to carry along reports of Mr Clogg's liberal law and order stance, and Mr Hewn's "environment, action now" message.
As Mr Brilliant Brian had said at the Mayoral Hustings: if people actually get to HEAR our policies, then they realise how GOOD they are!
Sir Mr the Merciless helped it along too, talking UP the Young Turks – and Turkessess! – and saying he was a Young Turk once too. And even hinting that the next Dr Who might be a woman. Er…
It's a bit of a RISKY strategy, I would say, especially if Sir Mr the Merciless' BIG SPEECH had turned out to be PISH.
Fortunately, it wasn't – instead he blew our socks off. Not that I WEAR socks, but other people's footwear was EVERYWHERE!
Daddy Richard and I got to hear it LIVE in the Conference Hall, though Daddy Alex got himself TRAPPED in the upper gallery and he could not find Captain Paddy to help him ABSEIL down to us!
A bit long, perhaps – or was he just proving that he COULD stand up there for an hour-and-a-half? – but with lots of good bits.
Excellent use of the Party's "Free, Green and Fair" slogan and the "one against two" – we need to push those MORE if they are to become our narrative.
It was good to hear him CONFRONTING the CONSENSUS between NuToryLabour on everything I have been telling you about for months: Iraq, Civil Liberties, the Environment, Nuclear Power, Council Tax, and student fees.
Personally, I was VERY PLEASED to see him open up a proper attack on Mr Frown for his record and his failure to take responsibility. And the joke about Suicide Boris was very funny!
Echoing the five giants of Mr William Beveridge, Sir Mr the Merciless listed his FIVE GREAT FREEDOMS for all: Opportunity, Security, Prosperity, Kate Aidee… no, that's not right… Health and the Environment.
When we all talked to him at the start of the week, Sir M had described himself as an OPTIMIST. Not for him the negative defeatism of Mr Balloon's "Anarchy in the UK", oh no. He saw the future as a place for us to do BETTER.
I think by the end of his speech, the rest of us thought that too!
Conference week over, Daddy Richard collapsed in a puddle and took the weekend off. I am a NICE elephant and so I have given him a short holiday. But now he must get back to work!
Type, Daddy, type!