...a blog by Richard Flowers

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Day 2368: Vote Conservatory – Get Labour


At least that's the case in Grantham and Stamford today.

This is because their MP, who no one will have heard of, has defected from the Conservatories to the Labour.

Mr Quentin Quentin, the man in question, said that, under Mr Balloon, the Conservatory Party "…appears to me to have ceased collectively to believe in anything, or to stand for anything".

Which is why he has decided to join the party that GENUINELY does not believe in anything or stand for anything!

I am SURE that he will find everything VERY FAMILIAR in his NEW Party, same as his OLD Party.

According to They Work For You, Mr Quentin Quentin's only STRONG parliamentary votes have been FOR illegally exploding Iraq, and AGAINST equal rights for gay daddies. I am sure he will FIT RIGHT IN.

Shadow Home Secretary, Mr Davis David (no relation), said darkly: "YOU find OUR lack of faith… disturbing," as he strangled the unfortunate defector with the Force.

Mr Gideon Oboe has vowed that he will even the score, promising that soon there will be a defection to the Conservatories. "…just as soon as I've defected to the Labour myself, then you'll see me defect back again!" he added.

Is this or is this not a bit of a DISASTER for Mr Balloon?

Easy enough to say that it is a "flash in the pan" and that it will all be forgotten by the time it is "tomorrow's chip paper", because it is and it will be – but underlying this is something MORE IMPORTANT: if Mr Balloon is REALLY following the Lord Blairimort SCRIPT, then he should be getting defections going the other way!

This is why the Conservatories have been so desperate to WOO Liberal Democrats, desperate enough to put the job in the hands of Mr Oboe!

You're not going to convince people of your BIG TENT politics if even your own side would rather skip out of your "Faith Zone" and explore the flashy IMAX across the road. (It is showing "Revenge of Gord-zilla", in GIANT 3D, of course.)

Obviously, this is Mr Frown's idea of A BIT OF A COUP, a reminder of the HEADY days of the young Lord Blairimort when Conservatories would REGULARLY trip, LAMB-LIKE across the lobby, into his waiting arms. No doubt it was supposed to go hand in clunking fist with getting hold of some Liberal Democrat peers, too, so that Mr Frown can go: "uhh, look at me, I'm, uhhh, so inclusive."

Well, clearly the Liberal Democrats are the ones with the PRINCIPLES, and the GUTS to say "No, thank you," to Mr Frown.

Liberal Democrats are DIFFERENT to the NuToryLabour – whereas the line between Mr Frown and Mr Balloon is increasingly BLURRED.

This is where those policies that Mr Quentin Quentin voted strongly on are IMPORTANT. Although they LOOK very different, International Law and Equal Rights are both areas about CONTROLLING the power of the government. Liberal Democrats believe that the government SHOULD BE controlled because it is the SERVANT of all of us. The Labour and the Conservatories believe that government is about making US obey THEM!

Last week, all of the Conservatories were saying that Sir Mr the Merciless was WEAK to even CONSIDER Mr Frown's offer – but the Liberal Democrats remain UNITED behind their leader.

What do the Conservatories have to say about a leader who loses an MP ENTIRELY?!

"Well, David," squeaked Mr Oboe, "at least it might make people forget that our peers keep defecting to UKIP!"

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