...a blog by Richard Flowers

Friday, October 20, 2006

Day 2114: History: That's YOU That Is


Today absolutely EVERYBODY has been writing diaries!

Mr Black Peter, Prince of Wales.

Mr Tony, who writes BALLOTS.

Mr Paul, who writes BURBLINGS.

And of course My Daddy Alex!

I have been looking at the HISTORY TODAY website and some of the stories that have been submitted so far. Most of them seem to start:

"I woke up at [6am / 6.30am / 6.55am / 7am / 7.15am etc] had [rice crispies / coco pops / shredded wheat / etc] for breakfast and went to school."

Here is MY diary for today:

"Arriving by Jet Ski in the early light of the crisp autumn dawn, I leap onto the river path and scale the back wall up to my flat. Silent as a phantom, I conceal the STOLEN PLANS of Professor Jackanory's TIME MACHINE behind the big stack of DVDs and reassure Mr Stripy that that MASTER CRIMINAL Mr Balloon – or Mr Von Balloon as I know him – will no longer be able to use the Professor's device to re-write history. His plan that no one would know about his attempts to use ITV Digital boxes to BRAINWASH the unsuspecting nation has been thwarted.

"Happy at a job well done, I bounce into the still darkened bedroom to place a box of brand chocolates and a card stamped with the silhouette of an elephant on the pillow next to my dozing daddies. Returning to the kitchen, I prepare a light breakfast of strawberries dipped in fresh cow-juice and dusted with sugar decorated with wafer thin chocolate leaves and a drizzle of honey. I leave it on the table with flutes of champagne catching the light as the sun comes up over that big tent that shares my name.

"The sound of daddies stirring – the early roar at some egregious claim on the Today Programme – alerts me that time is short and I strap on my rocket pack in preparation for another mundane day tracking down the agents of international conspiracies, fighting the enemies of liberalism and bopping Lord Blairimort on the nose. To be continued…"

That's a bit BORING isn't it? Maybe I'll just say:

"Sat on the back of the sofa. Watched DVDs. Hugged Mr Stripy. Watched more DVDs. More tomorrow!"

No comments: