Saturday:
Today I'm going to tell you about my VERY FAVOURITEST THINGS.
My second MOST FAVOURITE thing EVER is, no hang on… My THIRD MOST FAVOURITE thing EVER is DVDs.
DVDs are shiny circles that sometimes have pictures on one side to tell you what they are. But really, they are place to keep moving pictures by making them very small, so small that only a LASER BEAM can see them!
When you put a DVD in the machine (which HAS GOT a laser beam in it!) then it can see the pictures and show them to you on the television too. This is VERY clever! I have tried looking VERY HARD at the DVDs but I can only ever see my fluffy face in them.
The REALLY clever thing is that even though all of them only seem to have my fluffy face on them, if you put them in the machine you get to watch lots and lots of different things!
DVDs stands for Digital Versatile Discs. This is because they were invented by Terrance Discs, the famous writer of DOCTOR WHO. (I will tell you about DOCTOR WHO another day.)
My daddies have bought LOTS of DVDs. They have bought two-thousand one-hundred and ninety-eight shiny discs. And that is LOTS. And they haven't watched all of them yet. BUT I HAVE!
At the moment, Daddy Richard is watching STAR TREK on DVD, but we have very, very nearly finished that. This is good because I am very BORED of Star Trek, especially the third year which is PANTS. (This means BAD underlined three times in red!)
Daddy Alex is watching THE WATER MARGIN. This is like ROBIN HOOD set in China and is usually quite good, with some good fighting – except at the start and the end of each story when they say something very silly about what the ancient sages say (usually something really obvious like "it's no good sticking your face in a fan if you want your nose to grow longer" which EVERYONE KNOWS, or else something really silly like "A COW is only A COW because it sings backwards" which NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY MEAN!)
The other thing that Daddy Richard is watching is MISS MARPLE, who is like Inspector Morse but very OLD and a LADY.
[R: It's the BBC's Miss Marple, starring Joan Hickson. Obviously.]
But the BEST DVDs are the DVDs of JAMES BOND. That is because JAMES BOND is my second MOST FAVOURITE thing EVER!
I’ll tell you about him tomorrow.
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