Day 3295: Harriet’s Hit and Run

Friday:

Did Harriet Harman engineer the snowplot silliness?

Radio Four’s Weekly Political Review* did their review of last year and after twenty-five minutes of talking up Conservatories and down Hard Labour, suddenly Mr Peter Riddler remembers there might be a BROADER spread of political opinion and asks:

“So, the Liberal Democrats… Jackie Ashley, has it been a good year for Captain Clegg?”

And La Ashley replies:

“Well no, but I’ll say who has had a good year: Harriet Harman…”

So much for the Guardianista insight, but you must admit 2009 aside, 2010 has started with a GOOD WEEK for Harriet the Harminator.

At the end of the week, Mr Frown is wounded. Again, Mr Millipede is derided. Again. Mr Balls, the schools bully, has lost some of his grip. Mr Lord Sideous (Senator Mandeltine) has been sidelined. And the only real winner is Harriet.

And, of course, she miraculously gets to keep her driving licence by admitting to a lesser offence when the more serious charges of “driving using a mobile telephone”, “driving away from the scene of an accident” and “driving under the influence of delusions of grandeur” were all dropped by the Justice Department. How very fortunate for the former Minister in the Justice Department.

She said she’d be back!

Ask yourself how it happened. Wednesday sees Buff Hoon and Patricia Blewitt lose the plot.

That reminds me: does the Prime Monster read my diary? Decide for yourself!

Millennium Elephant: Thursday Morning – coup is a snowstorm in a teacup

Mr Frown: Thursday Evening – coup is a storm in a teacup.

Talk about blowing a good GAG!

But anyway, as I asked before, what were they even THINKING? Surely, they can only have believed that picking over the scab of Hard Labour’s bitter internal divides was a good idea if they had reason to believe it might WORK.

Which must mean that SOMEONE had given them reason to believe that those six cabinet ministers might GENUINELY be ready to resign.

But who could have DONE such a thing? Let us, as Monsieur Hercules Porridge might say, apply the little grey cells. Look at the motives – who benefits?

Could it be someone who WANTED to get rid of Mr Frown? The week’s events have only succeeded in locking Mr Frown into the Downing Street Bunker for good. Well, until the election anyway. Not a win for the “anyone but gordon” ABGbies.

Could it be someone who wants Mr Frown’s JOB? The person who is, after Mr Frown, most damaged by this week is actually the person many would expect to benefit MOST from a regicide, the Secretary of State for everywhere else, Mr Millipede.

Mr David Millipede looks – and more importantly is widely BELIEVED – to have WANTED to topple Mr Frown and then MUFFED his chance. Again. He left it far too late to offer his support and was far too mealy-mouthed when his statement finally came. And only referring to “the Prime Monster” rather than Mr Frown by name didn’t help either. Rumours that “davidmillipede.org” was ready to roll out are reminiscent of Mr Michael Portaloo prematurely installing telephones in anticipation of another leadership challenge that never happened.

In contrast, Ms Harman is widely reported to have seized the BULL by the HORNS, or more literally, seized the PRIME MONSTER by the SHORT-AND-CURLIES, going directly to Downing Street and staging a CONFRONTATION with the Mr Frown, at the end of which she secured MORE POWER and a BIGGER ROLE in the General Election campaign.

Well, yes, that COULD be a poison chalice, but it also advances her chances of standing for Leader should Mr Frown happen to fall under a LANDSLIDE.

So how about someone who wants Mr Frown to stay in post, or in the firing line, until after then General Election when he gets, er, fired, but needs to position herself to be ready to take advantage. Let’s just say “could be…!”

Or is that all a bit too clever?




*That thing that they broadcast on Saturdays, also known as “the Saturday Morning Shouty Show” whenever Daddy is forced to listen to it.


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Day 2747: Ms Harpy – the economy will be fine so long as the Opposition don't keep talking it down

Wednesday:


The BBC news may be focussing on Ms Harriet Harpy's assertion that Mr Frown has "true grit*" or that she has Bats in her Belfry, or at least Daddies for Justice on her roof…

(You know, it USED to be the case that the Prime Monster said he had full confidence in his ministers just before he sacked them for incompetence; now here is Mr Harpy saying she has full confidence in HIM…)

…but what you may have missed was her reply to our own Dr Vince "the Power" Cable, asking her about the crisis in house-building.

Here is the record in Hansard.

"Can the Government not get their priorities right?" asked Dr Vince. "Instead of the Prime Minister lecturing us on what we should eat for dinner, and competing with the leader of the Conservative party to be the country’s weight watcher-in-chief, should he not acknowledge that we have a deep crisis in the British housing market—probably the worst in our lifetime—which is leading into a serious recession? It is time that the Government accepted responsibility for dealing with it."

Ms Harpy replied:

"…I do not agree that it is like it was in the 1990s. The hon. Gentleman should acknowledge that it is important that we keep employment rates high and that we keep interest rates low. Those who are working hard in the construction industry, and in small and big businesses across the country, do not want the official Opposition, or any Opposition Members, to be talking the economy down at this point. Confidence is important."

As my Daddy Alex asked: just how fine IS an economy that might topple over if Dr Vince breathes on it?


*other Westerns that Mr Frown may consider include…

"The Magnificent Seven… percent inflation"

"A Fistful of Dollars… is all that's left in the Treasury"

and

"The Searchers… for a new Leader of the Labour"