The Crown Persecution Service have announced that they're to make an announcement about the case of Mr Huhney-Monster, and ALREADY the SPECULATION has started on who's going to succeed him assuming he has to do the walk of SHAME.
We love Mr Ed. We love Mr David Outlaws. But if –I only say IF – this IS the end of the road for the Huhney-Monster, then couldn't we at least PRETEND to consider one of the EXCELLENT candidates of the LADY persuasion?
Sparkling Ms Lynne Featherweight; lovely Sarah Teather; could it even be time for Ms Jo Winsome? (Yes, that's a BIG jump straight to cabinet but, you know… Jo WINSOME!)
Let's be CLEAR: these three are NO ONE's TOKEN woman. Yes, it would be HUGELY helpful to have one (or MORE!) of them in the Cabinet as a role model and to show how SERIOUSLY we take promoting women within the party. BUT by ANYONE'S reckoning, they are ALL among the BEST and BRIGHTEST that the Party has to offer, regardless of whereabouts they keep their reproductive organs!
Ms Lynne, Queen of the Lib Dem Blog-o-sphere, is surely the BEST candidate. She's carved out a HUGE role in the Home Office, demonstrating the ability to drive through the LIBERAL agenda, and even persuading Ms Teresa May-Not of the case for diversity and equality.
Lovely Sarah is the me-sized dynamo who has repeatedly demonstrated the ability to hold her Brent seat against insane odds (up to and including her own sense of humour), who has ALSO been key to delivery of the Liberal Democrat manifesto pledge on the PUPIL PREMIUM.
And as for tireless campaigner Jo Winsome… ANYONE who has met her will tell you she's AWESOME, an absolute star, destined for great things, and – so long as Scotland doesn't do anything DAFT like wandering off towards independence – a sure bet for future leadership. She's also a mate of my Daddies, so not at all biased there!
Anyway, they're all TOP MPs.
So COME ON, Cap'n Clegg! Do the RIGHT THING and increase our Cabinet Gender-balance by INFINITY PERCENT!
'Cos sometimes, only a woman will do.