...a blog by Richard Flowers

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Day 2677: Lesbians are So Gay – A headline with at least SIX possible meanings!


The Greek Island of LESBOS is famous for exactly ONE thing: and let's face facts, it ISN'T the olive oil exports and it's not the Petrified Forest either.

And yet, apparently, it has come as a bit of a SHOCK to the people of Lesbos that the name of their island might actually be used HOMONYMICALLY.

They are just a LITTLE bit behind the times with this news, what with the term "Lesbian" having been used to describe ladies of the gay daddy persuasion since at least 1732 and probably a lot earlier.

What this means is legal action.

So, the Lesbian (inhabitant of Lesbos) population of Lesbos (circa 100,000) want to take on the Lesbian (lady gay) population of the whole of the world (at least 26,000,000*) some of whom MAY even live ON Lesbos.

*of a global population of 6.6 billion 100 out of every 201.3 people are lady people and surveys show the number of ladies self-identifying as Lesbian ranging from 0.8% (Australia) to 1.3% (America)

Not counting CATS.

Well, good luck to them with that, as the saying goes.

You can SORT OF understand the feeling that you don't like the way that language has EVOLVED and would rather hang on to the past meaning. Obviously, for MANY YEARS, uptight old-fashioned spinsters of all conceivable genders would write into the Daily Torygraph to protest that the perfectly respectable word "GAY" meaning "HAPPY" was being applied to gay daddies to mean that they were HAPPY about being gay daddies and wasn't that too awful for words. Certainly words like "gay".

But now the wheel is on the other fluffy foot, as it were, and I well remember all of the FUSS that was caused when Dr Who's friend Rose said to him: "you're so GAY!" meaning "you're a bit RUBBISH!".

A LOT of gay daddies (HAPPY daddies) thought that it was a bit gay (RUBBISH) that gay (GAY) was being used to mean RUBBISH (gay) and not gay (Captain Jack).

But you cannot turn back the clock. Except in the Autumn.

On the whole I think that the Lesbians suing the Lesbians is a SHAME. They should be more ACCEPTING of the AMBIGUITY. After all, it means that their Island has a UNIQUE SELLING POINT with TOURISTS, and one with a DOUBLE ADVANTAGE – first, you are ATTRACTIVE to lots of nice, well-behaved ladies or lady couples with fewer than average dependents in tow, meaning more disposable income to spend on charming olde worlde crafty knick-knacks. And second, you are NOT attractive to the drunken ÜBER-HETERO stag-party type who would much prefer to smash up your pubs and vomit noisily on your picturesque cobbled streets. I believe that this is called a WIN-WIN and you should EMBRACE it.

Not necessarily literally if you are a BOY Lesbian. (From Lesbos.)

Mind you, Daddy Alex tells me that the Conservatories have had a sparkling new idea straight from Laboratoires Nineteen-Fifties: all that Lesbians need is a GOOD MAN.

It's like Mr Ian Fleming never went away, isn't it.


Jennie Rigg said...

Odd, that whenever people post something like this, it makes me think of CatPain Jack's dismmissive comment: "Honestly, you people and your quaint little categories!"

corago said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andy said...

Damn you elephant! I just nearly snorted coke (cola) all over my keyboard. Nothing like a bit of Googlebombing, is there...

Incidentally, the deleted comment was me not noticing that a friend had signed in to their Google account.

Nick Campbell said...

Also, I would assume lesbians are called lesbians because of Saphhism and Sappho, and Sappho is one of the most famous poets in history, so shouldn't the Lesbosians be feeling pride rather than shame?