It's a good weekend to be that well-known not-using-them-for-his-own-political-ends family-guy Mr Balloon.
While little Mr Vague is reduced to trying to WOO the North of England with promises of a NEW ROAD (all VERY Royston Vasey), Mr Balloon is riding high upon a new series of opinion polls.
YouGov/Sunday Times have the Conservatories on 43%, the Labour on 27% and the Liberal Democrats on a typically-for-YouGov suppressed 16%.
Meanwhile, ICM/Guardian are showing the Conservatories with 42%, the Labour 29% and the Liberal Democrats a more inspiring 21%.
It's hard to know what has inspired this leap in Conservatory fortunes since, short of saying that the Budget was "a bit wet" it's difficult to think what they've actually been DOING.
It's certainly not their Tax Cuts Policy, since they've announced this weekend that they definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY won't be cutting taxes in the next Parliament. Unless they decide that they will.
And surely it's not Mr Balloon's new CRUSADE for FAMILY VALUES – as backed by his totally-up-to-the-minute not-at-all-Mary-Whitehouse campaign to stop Woolworths calling a kiddie's bed "The Lolita". I mean trés tasteful, there, Woollies, but is this SERIOUSLY what Mr Balloon hopes to achieve out of politics?
I can only think that it is their ongoing policy of "Not Being the Labour" that is finally paying dividends. Because of course THAT is the real significance of these polls: not Mr Balloon at all, but that the Labour have fallen into the 20's not just once but twice.
As the Grey Cloud of Despond™ (aka. Chancellor Sooty) settles over the Labour's waning star, Mr Balloon rises once more without visible panty line, or indeed means of support. What brave new dawn is this? Well… it's probably the same one that they had in 2006 when all the papers were trumpeting "Biggest Ever Conservatory Lead", "Balloon to be Next PM" and "Gideon Osborne out of Short Trousers by Christmas". All of those headlines proved wrong, of course, because the Labour ditched their horribly unpopular Prime Monster and replaced him with a shiny new one for a brave new era (cancelled).
I guess what I am saying is that voters are kind of FICKLE at the moment, and Mr Balloon might find once again that he is not as LOVED by the voters as much as he is by, er, himself.
Or, as Mr Martin says over on The Voice, "There is EVERYTHING to play for!"
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