Minister for Ruining our Childhoods, Mr "Total" Balls, and Minister for Spoiling our Fun, Mr "Crash and" Burnham, have got together as a PANTOMIME HORSE to inflict five hours a week of "quality culture" on kids.
So, we add the "Culture Hour" to the "Sport Hour", the "Literacy Hour" and the "Numeracy Hour" and… we'd better hope there are a few more TIME LORDS masquerading as teachers in our schools!
Art, theatre, music… these are things that you should DISCOVER for yourself, not have thrust down your throat like COUGH MIXTURE!
And anyway, isn't that what BBC4 is for?
What's that buzzing noise?
You should not underestimate the POWER and IMPORTANCE of
("Oh, nobody understands our policy in Darfur," yeah, yeah; tell it to the Archpillock of Canterbury!)
What IS that buzzing?!
Anyway £15 a year does NOT amount to a whole load of OPERA… unless you mean OPRAH, and we're back to sitting in front of the TELLY.
On the PLUS side, though, at least there are a whole load of opportunities in CREATIVE WRITING opening up again in America!
Can NO ONE else hear BUZZING???
Is there not some IRONY in us trying to find EXOTIC ways to keep our young people out of our hair with compulsory after-school culture club at the same time as installing the electronic midge and kiddie zapper?
Meanwhile, I am going to deal with that buzzing by calling GHOSTBUSTERS!
Apparently I can now get PSYCHIC EXORCISM paid for by the council (give me strength!)