Surprising news comes that happy-go-lucky sprite o'the glen Mr Frown may in fact be a bit of a TYRANT!
It seems, one of the most SENIOR Civil Servants has compared our own Iron Chancellor, Gordon Blairimortovich with Uncle Joe Stalin, the Soviet Man of Steel.
In further bad news for the Prime Minister in waiting-and-waiting-and-waiting, now Lord Blairimort has come out in his support!
Comparing Mr Frown to Stalin is a BIT HARSH. I mean we should not forget the thirty year reign of terror, the purges, the disappearances, the secret executions and the show trials. It is not as though Stalin was sitting on his hands sulking until Lenin would let him have a go, now was it!
On the other fluffy foot, Cuddly Uncle Joe never had the urge to try to disown his Russianness in order to get English people to like him more. Generally, if people did not like him, Cuddly Uncle Joe had them shot.
The Times, who are probably feeling a bit SILLY about it now, described this as a "Black Tuesday" for the Chancellor.
No doubt they were DELIBERATELY trying to remind people of that day when Mr Balloon was special advisor to the BADGER that drove the British economy over a cliff and out of the ERM.
In fact, they were trying to round up a cadre of retired apparatchiks to denounce Mr Frown as being a bit UNPLEASANT. Oddly enough, I do not have much sympathy for a bunch of mandarins whose complaint amounts to "WE used to have all that power!" I imagine that the nobles of the Tsar's court felt pretty much the same.
Of course, being called RUTHLESS is hardly an INSULT to most politicians. In fact, they revel in it: it did the Iron LADY good for years when all of the cartoonists and satirists portrayed her as the one in the TROUSERS.
As Mr Ian Hislop says, it was only when they started saying she was BONKERS that people started to turn against her.
Mind you, Mr Frown has been THERE too, and laughed it off.
In unrelated news, Mr Peter Mandleson has been warned to stay away from ICE PICKS.
[*] obscure Soviet National Anthem jokes я us