...a blog by Richard Flowers

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Day 2264: Balloon and Blairimort: together again


If there is one thing that we should be repeating OVER AND OVER AND OVER it is the sight of Mr Balloon, so called leader of the "opposition", saying to Lord Blairimort:

"…the Prime Minister has the support of the Conservative party, we can work together…"

That quote PRECISELY.

He's talking about rushing into a decision to build new Trident submarines so that we can have shiny American missiles that we will never ever use.

But it really sums up the whole of the relationship between Lord Blairimort and Mr Balloon. They are ALWAYS of one mind. Because Mr Balloon doesn't seem to HAVE a mind!

The BBC's Mr Assinder thinks that this is all a CUNNING TACTIC by Mr Balloon to EMBARRASS Lord Blairimort. But the TRUTH is it is Mr Balloon who should be EMBARRASSED: there is NO NEED for Mr Balloon or his bunch of Eton wannabes never mind the xenophobic Tombstone DINOSAURS that they are saddled with after years of in-fighting over Europe. They serve no purpose. The reason that they do not have any policies is because a manifesto that consists of giant DITTO marks is NOT WORTH HAVING.

Lord Blairimort is a Thatcherite Prime Minister; he leads a Thatcherite Party. What is Mr Balloon FOR?

Of course, Lord Blairimort also leads a small Socialist Party, too, it is just that the two Labour Parties have not realised it yet. You can tell who this other party consists of because they are called the Rebels.

(This is NOT because they are like Luke Skywalker and the CUTE ROBOTS (all the robots work for Lord Blairimort and they are the scary kind not the cute kind.) No, it is because they are like James Dean – they are WITHOUT A CAUSE.)

Lord Blairimort's plan is spend FIVE BILLION POUNDS a pop on three or four new submarines. Mr Balloon will provide the rubber ducks to go with.

Now, you really ought to be able to tell that there is SOMETHING wrong with your defence policy when swivel-eyed Fantastic Dr Fox is calling it "sound" and "sensible" – Dr Fox's position is probably based on the "sensible" precaution of nuking Brussels, Berlin and Paris. And probably Edinburgh to be on the safe side.

But Lord Blairimort wants to get started RIGHT NOW because he reckons that our atomic subs are going to wear out in seventeen years' time, in spite of us only using each one of them a quarter of the time, when the oldest of them (HMS Vanguard, launched 1993) will be thirty-two years old (and the youngest, HMS Vengeance, a stripling of 26).

Hang on… The Americans seem to think that THEIR atomic submarines – which are in use at least sixty-six percent of the time – will last at least 40 years each. Maybe we should have bought some of their submarines.

(It would certainly go with the missiles that we bought from them. Those ones that if we ever want to use we have to ask the President for the keys first. Assuming HE hasn't already used them "on our behalf".)

Equally, the current threat to what is LAUGHINGLY described as "world peace" comes from conventional conflicts and terrorism, rather than Cold War style Nuclear Stand-offs. (Unless of course you are Mrs Bucket with a scaremongering memo to circulate.)

It is not much use pointing an atom bomb at a terrorist. Especially if he is already on the London Underground!

Resources would be better used for our spies intelligence gathering. And for equipping our soldiers in the field. Or better still, getting our soldier OUT of the field and into some nice comfy barracks back home.

All of this suggests that there is no need to rush to make a decision.

You might call putting off the decision "sitting on the fence" (or at least you might if you are Lord Blairimort replying to Sir Mr the Merciless) but at least when you are sat on the fence you can see a bit further.

So why the rush? Unless of course your time as Prime Minister is drawing ABRUPTLY TO A CLOSE.

What is IRONIC is that this latest GRAB for the LEGACY has once again WEAKENED Lord Blairimort.

"Humiliated" is how Sir Mr the Merciless described him; "a lame duck" was the phrase of Lady Boothroyd, former speaker.

Of course, the rules say that you only have to command a majority of the MPs in the House of Commons. They don't say that they have to be YOUR OWN MPs.

Still, with Mr Balloon on side, the Conservatories pretty much ARE Lord Blairimort's MPs these days.

"…the Prime Minister has the support of the Conservative party, we can work together…"

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