Day 2233: Mr Balloon and the Open Goal

Sunday:


Oh, come on you didn't think I was going to let THIS one go past, did you?


Mr Balloon says that recreational cannabis use should be CRIMINAL.

Unless it's HIM, of course.

That'd be one rule for him and one for the rest of us the? Or is he going to go and check himself into the local BIG HOUSE to pay off the debt to society he'd say anyone else has incurred?


Obviously it would be too much to except the Conservatories actually to have a policy on this, but here is their BLUE SKY THINKING on the subject.

Basically: "Cannabis BAAAAD, government sending MIXED MESSAGES BAAAAD."

Good job Mr Balloon's not sending a mixed message then. Oh.


Still, he argues that his life before entering politics should be PRIVATE.

Good job he's not told any FUNNY STORIES about, say, the KGB trying to recruit him during his gap year then. Oh, hang on: he has!

Maybe this "no talking about my life before parliament" is ANOTHER rule that applies to other people and not to HIM!


Mr Balloon entered parliament in 2001, so that SHOULD be quite a bit of his life to keep quiet about.

This is what the Conservatory Party website says "about David":

"I was born in October 1966…" BEFORE he entered parliament…

"…and live in London and West Oxfordshire, where I've been the MP for Witney since 2001.

"I'm married to Samantha…" 1 June 1996, so BEFORE he entered parliament…

"…and have three young children, Ivan, Nancy and Arthur," born 2002, 2003 and 2006 so that's FINE.

In fact, the rest of it is all aspirational GUFF that tells you nothing about his experience or qualifications to run the country.

So it misses the privileged silver-spoon background, expensive education at Eton, the Oxford dining societies, that gap year in Russia (best not mention that), the time working for Mr Norma Lamont on Black Wednesday, that time working as special advisor to Mr Something of the Night, the PR job helping ITV digital crash and burn…


You know, suddenly this whole "I want to keep my life before politics quiet" seems to make a LOT of sense!

In fact, doing drugs may be the least of Mr Balloon's problems!