...a blog by Richard Flowers

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Day 1993: Pass the Sick Bucket


It is Father's Day today. Happy Father's Day to all Daddies, including MY two Daddies.

In the news, there is competition this week for "who can be the most heart warming" between our two friends Mr Balloon and Mr Frown

First up, Mr Balloon tells us that:

"…whatever I do or don't achieve in politics, nothing matters as much as my family."

Mr Balloon is starting to spend quite a lot of time harping on, telling Daddies what they should do maybe he should spend more time with his OWN family.

Obviously, it's a lot easier to spend QUALITY TIME with the kids when you don't have to worry about the mortgage on your million pound home, or indeed the vacuuming of your million-pound home. Or your OTHER million-pound home, even. It must be very nice doing the PR for a company like DOOMED ITV Digital, but does it really pay the rent? I suppose at least it must help pay the SERVANTS.

Possibly, Mr Balloon is so naïve that he does not realise that most people have to WORK all day in order to look after their kids rather than hiring a NANNY with some of the oodles of dosh that they INHERITED from their family of rich city stockbrokers. Or gamblers, as they are properly called.

On the other fluffy foot, do we really want a Prime Minister who does not know where the FEES for ETON come from?

Still, Mr Balloon goes on to add:

"…it goes without saying that my children couldn't care less whether I become prime minister or not."

It's not just your kids, Mr B!

Not to be outdone on the barf-o-metre, though, Mr Frown invites us into his beautiful luxury Downing Street apartment to share his pleasure at watching the footy on the telly – and to report back to anyone who will believe us that his Chancelorship is:

(a) an ordinary BLOKE who likes to relax like all ordinary blokes,

(b) a GENUINE supporter of England who cheers when they score and does not leave tripwires for Wayne Rooney, and

(c) certainly has plenty of spare time in which to do Lord Blairimort's job.

There is nothing wrong with Mr Frown wanting to support the England team – after all he hope to be Prime Minister of ALL of Britain and that does include England – I just wish he would not be so OBVIOUS about doing it to try and look more English-Friendly! He is a Scot and should be proud of being a Scot.

I mean, look at Mr Balloon: does he try and disguise the fact that he is an upper-class twit? No, he does not. He tries to convince people that having no brains and a lot of money that you didn't earn is a good thing.

So, Mr Frown should be saying what a good thing it is to be Scottish!

Personally, I am supporting the QUEEN'S team in the football, and I hope that Germany do very well!

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