Forty-two days without charge: Mr Frown almost brought down his OWN Government to do it and only BRIBERY and BULLYING secured it.
Ms Jacqui Spliff, the Hopeless Secretary, spoke out:
"Faced with a crucial decision on the safety and protection of the British public, they have collapsed into total disarray on what is their first big policy test since they have come under greater scrutiny."Mr David "Security" Blanket added:
"This is childish and immature and it is not worthy of a major political party to engage in such theatre."Oh, hang on, were they talking about the CONSERVATORIES?!?!
Just one quick GLANCE at "How They Voted" shows me that exactly ONE Conservatory and exactly NO Liberal Democrats risked tripping over Mr Millipede's still-warm-from-Italy luggage in the Aye Lobby to vote with Mr Frown for a return to pre-feudal justice!
And yet THIRTY-SIX members of the Labour – that is more than one in ten of their MPs – managed to shake off the BRAINWASHING long enough to vote against.
Correct me if I am WRONG, but it certainly LOOKS like it is the PLP (Paramilitary Labour Prannies) who are SPLIT on the issue of sacrificing our essential freedoms to win absolutely no security at all.
(Because SECURITY is what you get when MI5 is in a position to STOP terrorist attacks; compared to that, detention without trial is a CONVENIENCE for the police trying to prosecute them after the fact. And frankly it's a LOT EASIER for the Spooks to stop things if the community is ON SIDE and TELLING THEM about suspicious goings on. Rather than, say, completely alienated by unnecessary and discriminatory-seeming legislation and paranoid that passing on perfectly innocuous gossip might see Uncle Amir banged up for a month-and-a-half!)
In fact Mr Frown would have had NO MAJORITY AT ALL if it were not for the last minute intervention of those WELL KNOWN socialists, er, UKPNuts, the Ulster Lunatics and the DUP (Deeply Unpleasant Party) – delightfully described by Dame Shirley Whirly on Questionable Time as "The Undertakers of the House of Commons: they always turn up when the Government is on its DEATHBED".
Apparently there was a wish-list as long as my fluffy legs doing the rounds and sounding like one of those MASTERCARD commercials! You know: conveniently-sited ripe-for-redevelopment former Ministry of Defence properties - £900 million; substantial slice off the water rates - £200 million; more than healthy contribution to the police benevolent fund - £50 million; peerage for Revered Shouty - priceless.
The total scores on the doors are alleged to be ONE-POINT-TWO BILLION POUNDS!
Of course, Mr Frown and DUP leader Mr (no-doubt-very-soon-to-be-Sir) Peter Robinson DENY that anything was promised to anyone.
Where IS Ms Mandy Rice-Davis when you need her?
"No deals, Mr Frown" sounds like the title for one of those airport-novel James Bond books that Mr Gardener and Mr Benson churned out in the Eighties and Nineties.
Unfortunately, rather than DIABOLICAL MASTERMIND, Mr Frown is more like one of those henchmen who feel no pain because they've had their BRAINS REMOVED!
(And probably left somewhere on one train or another!)
Why? Because this is OBVIOUSLY going to get TRUMPED by the House of Lords Club. So not only will it be hanging around like a BAD SMELL for another YEAR, Mr Frown will need to use the Parliament Act in order to get it though. So he's going to need those DUP votes AGAIN*. And – like ALL blackmailers – you can bet that they will BLEED him DRY for as long as they have a hold over him!
(*Actually, I do not buy the claim that the Labour rebels will be less likely to rebel because it's nearer to a General Election. If anything it's just as likely to make them HARDEN their position because they'll soon be asking for support from the communities that fell most targeted by these measures. On the other fluffy foot, the CONSERVATORIES might suddenly go all wobbly; it just depends which way the wind is blowing when Mr Balloon makes up his mind that day.)
And even if you DO ram it through the Upper House with a Parliament Act battering ram, the Human Rights Select Committee think that it's probably all ILLEGAL anyway!
And another thing! As if all THAT wasn't BAD ENOUGH… a vote with a majority of NINE overturns legislation that says you need a two-thirds majority to get rid of a judge. (Well, actually this is coroners but they OUGHT to have the same protections, frankly.)
Yes, they got that WRETCHED Corruption-of-Coroners legislation that they've been gagging for. Daddy Alex has the full story!
Let me see: Today's Terrorist Bill is brought to you by the letters "CONSTITUTIONAL" and "CRISIS" and by the number "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"