Sir Mr the Merciless has written to me to ask me to get behind his campaign to make the Government do the DECENT THING and rescue the Iraqis who have been helping our brave soldiers by translating all of the things that the people of Basra have been shouting at them.
Without their help, who would have known what the Iraqi was for: "Please depart like swift angels, you kind and gentle foreign barbarians for we are filled to overflowing with gratitude for your despoiling of this hellhole that was once our prosperous and peaceful land"?
Or indeed how to give our traditional cheery reply of: "We come in peace; shoot to kill!"
Try to understand the Government's position for a moment, though. After they have spent four years spreading PEACE and DEMOCRACY in Iraq, they do seem to think that it is a little UNGRATEFUL of the people who have been helping us to say that WE HAVE MADE IT TOO DANGEROUS for them to live there any more!