...a blog by Richard Flowers

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Day 2407: Apocalypse Cow


You would be forgiven for thinking that it was the DIVINE RETRIBUTION of Shambo the Sacred Bullock, given the HYSTERICAL coverage that the BBC – and all other news broadcasters – felt it was appropriate to give over to what has, so far, proved to be a relatively SMALL and CONTAINED outbreak of "Foot in Mouth" disease.

Almost EVERYONE has already done the gag about Mr Balloon suffering "Foot in Mouth" disease, and that the BOVINE Conservatory leader has cancelled his next holiday in order that he can be humanely put out of his misery for the good of the country.

But that does not appear to have stopped me doing it again!

Apparently "Foot in Mouth" is only FATAL to cows (and Conservatory Leaders) because a Man from the Ministry comes along and SHOOTS THEM. (Appropriately enough, the Ministry is called DEAthRAy.)

Once again, I am left wondering why we do not just try to find a CURE.

Mind you, it turns out that people are going to blame looking for a cure for getting us into this problem in the first place, with the Government Laboratory at PIRBRIGHT fingered for the source of the germs. Or rather, the commercial company right next door, swilling around a hundred times the volume of virus in order to make vaccine.

But, really, I think that the problem is not the LOOKING for a cure but the NOT CLEANING UP after themselves carefully enough. And then the FLOODS came along, carrying the disease all over the countryside, because the Ministry had had to CUT all the spending on FLOOD DEFENCES.

Of course, the reason for the cut backs was because DEAthRAy were fined for not compensating farmers quickly enough the last time they all caught Foot in Mouth.

I THINK this is called a VICIOUS CIRCLE.

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