Day 2052: What is Mr Balloon Hiding?

Wednesday



More boring numbers today, I am afraid.

The electoral commission has released the latest set of figures from the political parties about loans and donations in the months from April to June this year.

They are a BIT CROSS because in spite of an agreement by all the major parties to declare ALL of their outstanding loan, one of the parties has decided not to.

Who could it be? I will give you a clue: they begin with a "C" and rhyme with VONSERVATORIES!

You are shocked, I know!

As Lord Rennard says:

"Public confidence in politics is likely to suffer further unless all political parties are open and transparent."

Given that they will be made BY LAW to reveal this information after September, why would Mr Balloon break another promise by keeping this secret now?

Then my eye falls on the figure for donations to the Conservatories, a frankly ASTONISHING 5.9 million quid! And I wonder to myself, hmmm, is Mr Balloon rushing around trying to get enough people to give him honest looking donations so that he can get rid of those HIGHLY DODGY undeclared loans before the September deadline, by any chance?


Meanwhile, Mr Balloon's chairperson and chum in charge of cover ups, Auntie Maude, tried to throw us off the scent by saying:

"Labour is now almost entirely dependent on the unions for funding. In return, they're getting pet policies and bungs with taxpayers' money."

This is very INTERESTING because Auntie Maude's party has received four individual donations that add up to a grand total of £2,895,000 – which is MORE than the whole of the £2,519,807 which the Labour received in total from Trade Unions in the same period.

It is also, in fact, almost HALF of the donations that the Conservatories received. (MORE than half, if you don't include the £1.1 million that the Conservatories get from PUBLIC MONEY!)

Perhaps Auntie Maude would like to EXPLAIN what "pet policies and bungs" these four donors are getting from the Conservatory Party.

Because by Auntie's logic, the Conservatories are in hock to a small shadowy clique and are trying to keep very quiet about it.

Of course, we have seen for some time that the Conservatories are trying to cover their own tracks by FLINGING MUD at everybody else. This is a very UNDERHAND tactic – they know that if they can make enough people think "oh, they are all as bad as each other" on this issue then NO ONE will be able to mention it – least of all mention how BAD the Conservatories are. Rather than cleaning up their own act, they try to make everyone else look dirty too!

It does not help, of course, that Lord Blairimort has gone out of his way to assist Mr Balloon in this by giving out peerages like toffees to any and every donor to the Labour. It certainly LOOKS like you can buy yourself any political favour that you want from this government, whether it is a delay to a ban on tobacco advertising, or a passport, or a comfy red-leather seat in the House of Lords Club.

But the Conservatories now like to throw up their fluffy feet in mock horror, and say "oh, and you thought that WE used to be bad!"

Well, the Conservatories DID used to be bad, and we have NOT forgotten "cash for questions" and "the simple sword of British Truth" and the sordid business of sending Matrix Churchill directors TO PRISON to cover up for ministers' dirty arms dealings with Saddam Hussein!

(People should hardly be surprised that the NAUGHTY behaviour carried straight on. After all, they only replaced Major John's Conservatories with Lord Blairimort's Conservatories!)

But unfortunately, for us and luckily for Mr Balloon, people seem to have fallen for Mr Balloon's TACTIC and they think ALL politicians are BAD – instead of spotting the more obvious answer that it is the Labour and Conservatories who are FUNDAMENTALLY the SAME.

WHAT a fluffy NUISANCE!


PS:
Mr Stephen has some ideas about this: here!