Wishing you all a very happy MY BIRTHDAY (thank you for all the fireworks).
This year, I have been immortalised in ceramic!
Love
Millennium
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Day 4045: Dr Sentimoo's Birthday Message for Daddy!
Saturday:
Welcome to extreme old age, Daddy Richard (he's like four BILLION and one, or something).
And what better way to start a special day than by listening to the news that the Arch-bigot of York [warning: contains Telegraph] is once again trying to IMPOSE his BIBLICAL view on gay daddies getting married.
Putting the DICK into DICTATOR, the purple-frocked DESPOT says: "I don't think it is the role of the state."
So, you'll be giving up that SEAT in the LEGISLATURE then, your worship?
Quick check for the COMPLETELY-DETACHED-FROM-REALITY: WE are behaving like a DICTATORSHIP because the Government ACCEPTS the will of the people and PROTECTS the interests of minorities like gay daddies.
And YOU want people to obey your commands?
There's some old proverb about "sticks" and "eyes", I don't really remember… maybe a biblical scholar like the Arch-bigot could remind me.
(And if it's the BIBLICAL TRADITION he wants, then I'm sure he won't mind standing still while we STONE him for WRITING an ARTICLE on the SABBATH.)
And then we hear, on the radio, the Ever-so-Reverend Richard Communard cooing over atheist philosopher, and designer of the All New Tower of Babel, Mr Alain de Fluffy-Bottom for his new book "All the Good Things you can get out of Religion".
"The thing about religions is that they allow you to organise doing good," suggests Mr de Fluffy-Bottom.
"Ooh," perks up the Reverend Communard, "do you think it's that we're lacking this "organised goodness" that leads to such OUTRAGES like city bankers and their bonuses?"
Because thank HEAVEN we would never get a bunch as CORRUPT and MURDEROUS as the BORGIAs or the MEDICIs creaming off riches at the top of the pile under and organised religion. And thank the LORD that a criminal fraternity like the MAFIA could never arise in a GOD-FEARING country. If only GODLESS Britain could benefit from such a society!
More seriously, it's clear that HUMAN BEANS like to make ORGANISATIONS (whether that is TRIBES or CITIES or CORPORATIONS or complicated belief systems involving INVISIBLE UNICORNS. Or whatever.)
These organisations are ALL in some way "organised goodness" and they are ALL subject to being CORRUPTED by wicked people. This is why Liberals believe in WORKING TOGETHER with others but remain WARY of power structures and favour DISBURSING power to people.
The goodness of religion is that it brings people together, but the DANGER is that it hands the POWER TO BULLY to people like Dr Sentimoo.
.
Welcome to extreme old age, Daddy Richard (he's like four BILLION and one, or something).
And what better way to start a special day than by listening to the news that the Arch-bigot of York [warning: contains Telegraph] is once again trying to IMPOSE his BIBLICAL view on gay daddies getting married.
Putting the DICK into DICTATOR, the purple-frocked DESPOT says: "I don't think it is the role of the state."
So, you'll be giving up that SEAT in the LEGISLATURE then, your worship?
Quick check for the COMPLETELY-DETACHED-FROM-REALITY: WE are behaving like a DICTATORSHIP because the Government ACCEPTS the will of the people and PROTECTS the interests of minorities like gay daddies.
And YOU want people to obey your commands?
There's some old proverb about "sticks" and "eyes", I don't really remember… maybe a biblical scholar like the Arch-bigot could remind me.
(And if it's the BIBLICAL TRADITION he wants, then I'm sure he won't mind standing still while we STONE him for WRITING an ARTICLE on the SABBATH.)
And then we hear, on the radio, the Ever-so-Reverend Richard Communard cooing over atheist philosopher, and designer of the All New Tower of Babel, Mr Alain de Fluffy-Bottom for his new book "All the Good Things you can get out of Religion".
"The thing about religions is that they allow you to organise doing good," suggests Mr de Fluffy-Bottom.
"Ooh," perks up the Reverend Communard, "do you think it's that we're lacking this "organised goodness" that leads to such OUTRAGES like city bankers and their bonuses?"
Because thank HEAVEN we would never get a bunch as CORRUPT and MURDEROUS as the BORGIAs or the MEDICIs creaming off riches at the top of the pile under and organised religion. And thank the LORD that a criminal fraternity like the MAFIA could never arise in a GOD-FEARING country. If only GODLESS Britain could benefit from such a society!
More seriously, it's clear that HUMAN BEANS like to make ORGANISATIONS (whether that is TRIBES or CITIES or CORPORATIONS or complicated belief systems involving INVISIBLE UNICORNS. Or whatever.)
These organisations are ALL in some way "organised goodness" and they are ALL subject to being CORRUPTED by wicked people. This is why Liberals believe in WORKING TOGETHER with others but remain WARY of power structures and favour DISBURSING power to people.
The goodness of religion is that it brings people together, but the DANGER is that it hands the POWER TO BULLY to people like Dr Sentimoo.
.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Day 3680: I'm Looking at Day 14611
Daddy's Birthday:
Daddy Richard is trying to convince me that he is NOT REALLY OLD, but I'm sure he is WELL over the hill!
Honestly! He is SO doddery that he has tripped over and fallen on the SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON for the SECRET VOLCANO BASE! What a NUMPTY!
(And yes, that really IS the one from James Bond!)
Still, there is HOPE! We have been listening to Ms Betty Driver on the Desert Island of Discs and SHE has been pulling pints on Consternation Street since longer than Daddy has been ALIVE!
Happy Birthday Daddy!
.
Daddy Richard is trying to convince me that he is NOT REALLY OLD, but I'm sure he is WELL over the hill!
Honestly! He is SO doddery that he has tripped over and fallen on the SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON for the SECRET VOLCANO BASE! What a NUMPTY!
(And yes, that really IS the one from James Bond!)
Still, there is HOPE! We have been listening to Ms Betty Driver on the Desert Island of Discs and SHE has been pulling pints on Consternation Street since longer than Daddy has been ALIVE!
Happy Birthday Daddy!
.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Day 3315: Millennium's Falcon
Thursday:
It's Daddy Richard's birthday! And what could be more fun than playing with some Lego.
Time to take my diary into a whole new dimension! Movement! Run VT!
Happy Birthday Daddy!
.
It's Daddy Richard's birthday! And what could be more fun than playing with some Lego.
Time to take my diary into a whole new dimension! Movement! Run VT!
Happy Birthday Daddy!
.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Day 2923: iPhant
Hooray, I am NINE!
[R: He is eight; we have this every year...]
Today we will be mainly playing JAMES BOND using my NEW Hi-Tech device…
Maybe THIS will help me keep up with my Diary!
PS:
Happy New Year Everyone!.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Day 2875: Happy Birthday Chuck
Friday:
His Most Britannic Fifth-Wheeledness has reached the age of the bus pass.
As Mr Rory Bremner has joked in the past: Mrs the Queen has told the Prince that he will ascend to the throne in the traditional manner… or in her PRECISE words: "over my dead body".
What, then, to get for the Man Who Has Everything (except a Job)?
Well, how about a PLANET of his very own!
Behold: Formalhaut Prime!
Untainted by architectural carbuncles; unlikely to be reduced to grey goo by nanotechnology; almost certainly immaculate of GM agriculture. And a full twenty-five light years away, well outside any territory currently ruled by Mrs the Queen.
OK, so it's probably a GAS GIANT – but what better place to practice being a Right Royal Windbag?
Happy Birthday, Your Highness! Now, someone blast him into space!
His Most Britannic Fifth-Wheeledness has reached the age of the bus pass.
As Mr Rory Bremner has joked in the past: Mrs the Queen has told the Prince that he will ascend to the throne in the traditional manner… or in her PRECISE words: "over my dead body".
What, then, to get for the Man Who Has Everything (except a Job)?
Well, how about a PLANET of his very own!
Behold: Formalhaut Prime!
Untainted by architectural carbuncles; unlikely to be reduced to grey goo by nanotechnology; almost certainly immaculate of GM agriculture. And a full twenty-five light years away, well outside any territory currently ruled by Mrs the Queen.
OK, so it's probably a GAS GIANT – but what better place to practice being a Right Royal Windbag?
Happy Birthday, Your Highness! Now, someone blast him into space!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Day 2860: Beautiful Person
Thursday:
Today it is Daddy Alex's birthday!
We will probably be spending the evening IN watching all of the new DVDs that we have bought for him, though we will make an interruption at 9.30pm to turn over to BBC2 for the camp comedy "Beautiful People".
Every week, Mr Simon sees something in the window of his shop which reminds him of a story which he then proceeds to tell through flashbacks, with songs and dances and moments of brightly coloured pictures, before coming to a surprise conclusion… hang on, this is the plot of BAGPUSS!
Anyway, we like this very much so it is BOUND to be CANCELLED! So enjoy it while you can.
Happy Birthday Daddy!
Today it is Daddy Alex's birthday!
We will probably be spending the evening IN watching all of the new DVDs that we have bought for him, though we will make an interruption at 9.30pm to turn over to BBC2 for the camp comedy "Beautiful People".
Every week, Mr Simon sees something in the window of his shop which reminds him of a story which he then proceeds to tell through flashbacks, with songs and dances and moments of brightly coloured pictures, before coming to a surprise conclusion… hang on, this is the plot of BAGPUSS!
Anyway, we like this very much so it is BOUND to be CANCELLED! So enjoy it while you can.
Happy Birthday Daddy!
Friday, August 01, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Day 2714: JAMES BOND: Devil My Car
Friday:
Let's begin on the COVER: Mr Sebastian Faulks writing as Mr Ian Fleming. Hmmm. Not actually willing to give up his own identity but wanting to claim the mantle of being Mr Ian (and the safety net of blaming him for anything… unsavoury!)
I'm not sure how the title goes with the story, either!
What he writes, though, is an entirely traditional adventure, with girls, guns, violence and a lunatic villain.
So, new James Bond, same as the old James Bond. Which you can take to mean "reassuringly familiar" or "a bit of a knock off" according to taste.
I realize that Mr Ian would toss in the odd reference to his back catalogue occasionally, usually in the opening chapter following up however we left our Mr James at the end of last time, but Mr Sebastian DOES seem desperate to include a reference to each and every one of the other twelve full-length James Bond novels.
He ends up with seemingly more continuity references and in-jokes than a Doctor Who New Adventure playing the "I bet I can refer to every Cyberman / Dalek / Doctor Who story ever" game. (See "Iceberg" by David "Cyberleader" Banks, "Retcon of the Daleks" by John "Not THAT one" Peel, or "Christmas on a Rational Planet" by Lawrence "Mad Larry" Miles" if you want to play!"). "I know drugs aren't as exciting as smuggling gold or diamonds," M interjects pointlessly at one point, while Mr James worries about his "B & B: bereavement and brainwashing" at another. (And that's four books off the list right there.)
The book is written as a period piece. Which would be weird anyway, because Mr Ian wrote CONTEMPORARY stories, ahead of their time in fact, with Mr James in the "jet set" doing things and going places mere mortals could not follow. But Mr Sebastian is terribly eager to try and put us in the time with the crassest possible infodump:
"What's in the news, May?" asks Mr James, at one point. "Ooh, those young people in the band have been arrested for taking drugs!" "The Beatles?" "No, the other lot".
"HELLO – IT'S 1967!" she may as well be shouting.
Assuming that "Devil My Car" HAD been published in that year, that would make it two years after the (posthumous) publication of "The Man With the Golden Gun" and one year after the final short story collection "Octopussy and the Living Daylights". And, perhaps MOST tellingly, one year BEFORE the REAL first post-Mr Ian James Bond novel, 1968's "Colonel Sun" by Mr Kingsley Shacklebolt writing as Robert Markham. Without any of this nonsense of SAYING he was "writing as Robert Markham".
Taking us further down the road to Austin Powers territory, Mr James is delayed by the hippies staging a sit-in on a zebra crossing and is shortly horrified (along with ME) to learn that M has taken up YOGA. Quite what this is supposed to signify, I have no fluffy idea, but fortunately it doesn't really have any bearing on the plot.
The story opens with a really horrible murder.
Now, Mr Ian's writing WAS violent (…and sexist and he was a terrible food snob, meaning he was a food snob and really not very good at it, as anyone who has read the prawn cocktail moment will know) but there was almost always a kind of fantasy panache to it that made is seem GAUDY rather than GROSS. "Live and Let Die"'s Eaten by Sharks actually happens 'off', but you might think of being dragged over the reef for the barracuda from the same book. It's so over-the-top that it's kind of harmless.
This violence isn't. It's just ICKY. And (again) seemingly has little to do with the rest of plot other than to act as a clue for Rene Mathis (yes, him from Casino Royale) so that he can identify the villain's henchman. Although Mr James actually gets told the same information by the baddie anyway. Nor is it particularly clear WHY the murder happens; it does not appear to be because the victim has tipped off SIS about the baddie's plan. It just seems like M thinks it would be a good idea to investigate him.
So, the BADDIE, the VILLAIN of the piece is Doctor Julius Gorner.
We know he is a villain because the very first time we see him, he is squishing a little doggie under the wheels of his big Mercedes. This is in one of those astonishingly contrived "Mr James has seen the baddie before he knows he will be the target… and can just TELL that he is EEEEEEVIL" moments.
Dr Gorner is accompanied by his villainous oriental henchman with the distinctive headwear and funny name, Oddjob… no hang on, actually it's Chagrin, who Mathis recognizes as a Vietnamese war-criminal (yes, 1967 – Vietnam is faux-topical, remember) with a penchant for mutilating children if they're being taught by missionaries.
But just in case THAT wasn't a big enough clue to his nature, Dr Gorner also has to have a PHYSICAL DEFORMITY. To go with Blofeld's funny earlobes, or Dr No's missing hands or, er, Sir Hugo Drax's red hair, Mr Julius has… a monkey's paw!
Now, rather famously, whenever Mr Cubby Broccoli thought that his business partner and co-producer Mr Harry Saltzman was having a stupid idea he would remind him of one of his dooziest.
"DOCTOR NO… IS A MONKEY!" Mr Cubby would bellow.
Not that I am saying that this is a bad idea… except that it IS a bad idea.
It is also Mr Julius's ACHILLES' HEEL… even though it's his HAND. Any reference to it makes him go into one. Gosh, can you see where THAT might be going?
Anyhoo, Dr Gorner has a grudge against Britain. This turns out to be TRUE even though the Bond Girl – Miss Scarlet, I kid you not – actually makes it up. But we don't actually now WHY he has this grudge – because she made up the story about her father being an Oxford don who tried to be nice about "the hand" and instead deeply shamed Gorner too.
Still, this means he wants to destroy Great Britain and is shipping in tonnes of DRUGS in order to corrupt our YOUTH. Except that's all too boring, so he's going to fake a British nuclear attack on Russia and get the Reds to nuke London for him.
(He also extemporizes a plan to undermine British stiff upper lips by buying a national newspaper – the Times maybe – and driving the whole British Press downmarket by introducing cheap pornography to the breakfast table… a plan that (a) seems even MORE long-winded than the drugs thing and (b) appears to be no more than a gratuitous dig at Mr Roger Stavro Moredick, owner of, cheap porn rag the Scum and, er, the Times. This, though, would ALSO have been too boring and so is ditched for Operation Where-Did-Those-Nukes-Come-From.)
Yes, where DID those nukes come from: Dr Gorner just claims to have obtained them because "there is a market for such things". Oh, well I bet SPECTRE are just KICKING themselves for going to all that bother over the hijacked V-bomber with the plastic-surgery pilot.
What this all adds up to is something that is TRYING to be the sort of James Bond book that Mr Ian would have written IF he had been sat down by Mr Harry and Mr Cubby and, given the plot of their next movie, told to work round it. See "Thunderball" again.
Much as I hate to say it, it's really not very ORIGINAL. In fact, there are much more original ideas in the James Bond books of Mr John Gardner.
That's not to say that the writing is at all BAD. Almost in spite of itself, the book manages a really rather decent patch (ironically AFTER the whole movie-like plot has been finished) with Mr James and Miss Scarlet escaping across Russia. Actually, I suspect that might be because that bit slips into Le Carré pastiche. Anyway it's rather good. And in fairness, a lot of the main body of the story is set in pre-Revolutionary Iran aka Persia and manages to capture the real exotic travelogue feel of Mr Ian's writing while writing about a place that he didn't know i.e. wasn't the Caribbean.
But as far as PLOT goes, as distinct from NARRATIVE, it's all as obvious as the nose on my face. And you've got to admit, that's PRETTY obvious. Step one: Mr James meets villain in social contest – tennis this time, rather than golf or cards (no, it doesn't seem very James Bond, does it); villain tries to cheat but is beaten anyway. Step two: Mr James tracks villain to exotic location, and "sacrificial lamb" character gets killed. Step three: Mr James discovers minor clue to villain's plan but is captured and generally put through the wringer. Step four: villain's plan goes tits up through actually no real doings of Mr James, though Bond escapes in the crossfire. Step five: villain hunts down Mr James for revenge… this too goes tits up.
Even the GOLLY twist ending is totally telegraphed from almost chapter one.
There are also some rather glaring GAPS (or maybe I MISSED some bits). Since Mr James never gets to TELL anyone what Dr Gorner's plot actually IS, it's not entirely clear why the secret service decides to act. For reasons that will be clear to anyone who's read the book, it's not entirely obvious how Miss Scarlet's sister Poppy is able to provide Mr James with the vital insider-knowledge clue that puts him on to Dr Gorner's special hover-plane. And a lot of what Dr Gorner does is based on the assumption that he has a spy inside the secret service… but no one is actually unmasked. Well, no, let me put that another way, someone IS unmasked as a traitor – and in best Mr Ian bigoted-style it's the GAY character – but he couldn't possibly be the SIS spy because he's not SIS. So who is?
Still, I am SURE that the magic-makers of EON will fix all of that when they come to turn it into a MOVIE.
Let's begin on the COVER: Mr Sebastian Faulks writing as Mr Ian Fleming. Hmmm. Not actually willing to give up his own identity but wanting to claim the mantle of being Mr Ian (and the safety net of blaming him for anything… unsavoury!)
I'm not sure how the title goes with the story, either!
What he writes, though, is an entirely traditional adventure, with girls, guns, violence and a lunatic villain.
So, new James Bond, same as the old James Bond. Which you can take to mean "reassuringly familiar" or "a bit of a knock off" according to taste.
I realize that Mr Ian would toss in the odd reference to his back catalogue occasionally, usually in the opening chapter following up however we left our Mr James at the end of last time, but Mr Sebastian DOES seem desperate to include a reference to each and every one of the other twelve full-length James Bond novels.
He ends up with seemingly more continuity references and in-jokes than a Doctor Who New Adventure playing the "I bet I can refer to every Cyberman / Dalek / Doctor Who story ever" game. (See "Iceberg" by David "Cyberleader" Banks, "Retcon of the Daleks" by John "Not THAT one" Peel, or "Christmas on a Rational Planet" by Lawrence "Mad Larry" Miles" if you want to play!"). "I know drugs aren't as exciting as smuggling gold or diamonds," M interjects pointlessly at one point, while Mr James worries about his "B & B: bereavement and brainwashing" at another. (And that's four books off the list right there.)
The book is written as a period piece. Which would be weird anyway, because Mr Ian wrote CONTEMPORARY stories, ahead of their time in fact, with Mr James in the "jet set" doing things and going places mere mortals could not follow. But Mr Sebastian is terribly eager to try and put us in the time with the crassest possible infodump:
"What's in the news, May?" asks Mr James, at one point. "Ooh, those young people in the band have been arrested for taking drugs!" "The Beatles?" "No, the other lot".
"HELLO – IT'S 1967!" she may as well be shouting.
Assuming that "Devil My Car" HAD been published in that year, that would make it two years after the (posthumous) publication of "The Man With the Golden Gun" and one year after the final short story collection "Octopussy and the Living Daylights". And, perhaps MOST tellingly, one year BEFORE the REAL first post-Mr Ian James Bond novel, 1968's "Colonel Sun" by Mr Kingsley Shacklebolt writing as Robert Markham. Without any of this nonsense of SAYING he was "writing as Robert Markham".
Taking us further down the road to Austin Powers territory, Mr James is delayed by the hippies staging a sit-in on a zebra crossing and is shortly horrified (along with ME) to learn that M has taken up YOGA. Quite what this is supposed to signify, I have no fluffy idea, but fortunately it doesn't really have any bearing on the plot.
The story opens with a really horrible murder.
Now, Mr Ian's writing WAS violent (…and sexist and he was a terrible food snob, meaning he was a food snob and really not very good at it, as anyone who has read the prawn cocktail moment will know) but there was almost always a kind of fantasy panache to it that made is seem GAUDY rather than GROSS. "Live and Let Die"'s Eaten by Sharks actually happens 'off', but you might think of being dragged over the reef for the barracuda from the same book. It's so over-the-top that it's kind of harmless.
This violence isn't. It's just ICKY. And (again) seemingly has little to do with the rest of plot other than to act as a clue for Rene Mathis (yes, him from Casino Royale) so that he can identify the villain's henchman. Although Mr James actually gets told the same information by the baddie anyway. Nor is it particularly clear WHY the murder happens; it does not appear to be because the victim has tipped off SIS about the baddie's plan. It just seems like M thinks it would be a good idea to investigate him.
So, the BADDIE, the VILLAIN of the piece is Doctor Julius Gorner.
We know he is a villain because the very first time we see him, he is squishing a little doggie under the wheels of his big Mercedes. This is in one of those astonishingly contrived "Mr James has seen the baddie before he knows he will be the target… and can just TELL that he is EEEEEEVIL" moments.
Dr Gorner is accompanied by his villainous oriental henchman with the distinctive headwear and funny name, Oddjob… no hang on, actually it's Chagrin, who Mathis recognizes as a Vietnamese war-criminal (yes, 1967 – Vietnam is faux-topical, remember) with a penchant for mutilating children if they're being taught by missionaries.
But just in case THAT wasn't a big enough clue to his nature, Dr Gorner also has to have a PHYSICAL DEFORMITY. To go with Blofeld's funny earlobes, or Dr No's missing hands or, er, Sir Hugo Drax's red hair, Mr Julius has… a monkey's paw!
Now, rather famously, whenever Mr Cubby Broccoli thought that his business partner and co-producer Mr Harry Saltzman was having a stupid idea he would remind him of one of his dooziest.
"DOCTOR NO… IS A MONKEY!" Mr Cubby would bellow.
Not that I am saying that this is a bad idea… except that it IS a bad idea.
It is also Mr Julius's ACHILLES' HEEL… even though it's his HAND. Any reference to it makes him go into one. Gosh, can you see where THAT might be going?
Anyhoo, Dr Gorner has a grudge against Britain. This turns out to be TRUE even though the Bond Girl – Miss Scarlet, I kid you not – actually makes it up. But we don't actually now WHY he has this grudge – because she made up the story about her father being an Oxford don who tried to be nice about "the hand" and instead deeply shamed Gorner too.
Still, this means he wants to destroy Great Britain and is shipping in tonnes of DRUGS in order to corrupt our YOUTH. Except that's all too boring, so he's going to fake a British nuclear attack on Russia and get the Reds to nuke London for him.
(He also extemporizes a plan to undermine British stiff upper lips by buying a national newspaper – the Times maybe – and driving the whole British Press downmarket by introducing cheap pornography to the breakfast table… a plan that (a) seems even MORE long-winded than the drugs thing and (b) appears to be no more than a gratuitous dig at Mr Roger Stavro Moredick, owner of, cheap porn rag the Scum and, er, the Times. This, though, would ALSO have been too boring and so is ditched for Operation Where-Did-Those-Nukes-Come-From.)
Yes, where DID those nukes come from: Dr Gorner just claims to have obtained them because "there is a market for such things". Oh, well I bet SPECTRE are just KICKING themselves for going to all that bother over the hijacked V-bomber with the plastic-surgery pilot.
What this all adds up to is something that is TRYING to be the sort of James Bond book that Mr Ian would have written IF he had been sat down by Mr Harry and Mr Cubby and, given the plot of their next movie, told to work round it. See "Thunderball" again.
Much as I hate to say it, it's really not very ORIGINAL. In fact, there are much more original ideas in the James Bond books of Mr John Gardner.
That's not to say that the writing is at all BAD. Almost in spite of itself, the book manages a really rather decent patch (ironically AFTER the whole movie-like plot has been finished) with Mr James and Miss Scarlet escaping across Russia. Actually, I suspect that might be because that bit slips into Le Carré pastiche. Anyway it's rather good. And in fairness, a lot of the main body of the story is set in pre-Revolutionary Iran aka Persia and manages to capture the real exotic travelogue feel of Mr Ian's writing while writing about a place that he didn't know i.e. wasn't the Caribbean.
But as far as PLOT goes, as distinct from NARRATIVE, it's all as obvious as the nose on my face. And you've got to admit, that's PRETTY obvious. Step one: Mr James meets villain in social contest – tennis this time, rather than golf or cards (no, it doesn't seem very James Bond, does it); villain tries to cheat but is beaten anyway. Step two: Mr James tracks villain to exotic location, and "sacrificial lamb" character gets killed. Step three: Mr James discovers minor clue to villain's plan but is captured and generally put through the wringer. Step four: villain's plan goes tits up through actually no real doings of Mr James, though Bond escapes in the crossfire. Step five: villain hunts down Mr James for revenge… this too goes tits up.
Even the GOLLY twist ending is totally telegraphed from almost chapter one.
There are also some rather glaring GAPS (or maybe I MISSED some bits). Since Mr James never gets to TELL anyone what Dr Gorner's plot actually IS, it's not entirely clear why the secret service decides to act. For reasons that will be clear to anyone who's read the book, it's not entirely obvious how Miss Scarlet's sister Poppy is able to provide Mr James with the vital insider-knowledge clue that puts him on to Dr Gorner's special hover-plane. And a lot of what Dr Gorner does is based on the assumption that he has a spy inside the secret service… but no one is actually unmasked. Well, no, let me put that another way, someone IS unmasked as a traitor – and in best Mr Ian bigoted-style it's the GAY character – but he couldn't possibly be the SIS spy because he's not SIS. So who is?
Still, I am SURE that the magic-makers of EON will fix all of that when they come to turn it into a MOVIE.
PS:
Mr Simon's song game reminded me to get daddy to write up my review of this book, even though I finished it AGES ago. He is MUCH kinder to this book than I have been. Happy Fluffy Birthday, Mr Simon!Sunday, February 03, 2008
Day 2583: Phew! That Was Close
Monday:
I understand that it would IRONIC if the Earth was smashed to pieces on Daddy Richard's birthday.
I understand that it would IRONIC if the Earth was smashed to pieces on Daddy Richard's birthday.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Day 2557: Eight is the Magic Number
Hooray, I am EIGHT!
[R: He is seven, but there's no arguing with him.]
Today I had a very happy birthday, with lots of presents but my especially favourite was getting all of Mr Pierce on DVD from Daddy Alex along with this EXCELLENT card:
The Name's Dome, Millennium Dome
'Tis the season to get Tag'd, it would seem, and so we had a VERY SEASONAL Magic Eight Meme from Citizen Alix, while everyone else seems to be picking their eight wishes for '08.
Here are MY eight BIRTHDAY wishes then:
1. Mr Brian to win the Mayor of London job (or at least beat Bonkers Boris into third)
2. "James Bond 22" to be as brilliant as "Casino Royale" and to have a REALLY good name, when they think of one
3. Mr Frown to take Mr Clogg's GOOD ADVICE and abolish the I.D.iot cards scheme
4. Everyone to enjoy Mr Simon's new Doctor Who book so much that he is IMMEDIATELY asked to come and write a TV episode (and he asks Daddy Alex and Daddy Richard to come and help him)
5. A cheap and practical hydrogen fuel cell (or other clean car engine) to be invented
6. Mr Lucas to relent and announce "Star Wars: Episode VII: Elephant of the Force" for release in 2010.
7. The next American President to be GOOD
8. I get offered a three book and movie deal for the publication of my Diary!
Phew, that was more difficult than I expected! And Citizen Alix's are EVEN HARDER, but I will TRY to give some answers to her too:
8 things I’m passionate about:
Eight sticky buns
8 things I want to do before I die
Get into the House of Lords Club
8 things I say often
Daddy! Don't SING!
8 books I’ve read recently or am still reading
"The Pirate Loop" by Mr Simon (I like the robots of Milky Pink City)
8 songs I could listen to over and over and do
The theme song from "Casino Royale": "You Know My Name (It's Millennium)"
8 things that attract me to my best friends
Fluffiness
PS:
Happy New Year, Everyone!Friday, November 02, 2007
Day 2494: Vince Versus the King
Tuesday:
Well done to Mr Power Cable for turning down a slap up banquet in honour of King of the Sauds, King Ablutions.
I have to say, it was a bit of a CHEEK of his rude royal richness to have a go at Great Britain for not doing enough to combat terrorism, when a great many more terrorists appear to come from his country than from ours. (No need to mention the nationality of the World's Official Number-One Nutter and Winner of the "Which Cave Shall I Hide In" Award for the last four years running.)
Saudi Arabia is the sort of country that gives MEDIEVAL DESPOTISM a BAD NAME. There are times when it seem like half the radical groups in the Middle East were radicalised because of the extreme oppression of people in Arabia… and that the OTHER half were radicalised by militant manuals funded by the Saudi Government!
(The ultra-conservative Wahhadi brand of Islam that the Saudi Government is pushing seeks principally to turn the clock back to the Time of the Prophet, preaching that the religion has been corrupted by undesirable innovations and modern materialist cultural influences. That means US by the way. Mind you, they don't seem to mind such modern materialist cultural influences as receiving squillions of oil-dollars in ready cash.)
Their RECORD on human rights can be found in the HORROR MOVIE THEMES section, and we still do not know whether they were taking ILLEGAL BRIBES from BAE… largely because they BLACKMAILED the British Government with the threat of no more co-operation on terrorism if we didn't quietly drop it. Remember: Corruption is a CRIME unless, apparently, the Prime Monster decides he'd rather it wasn't.
HILARIOUSLY, Conservatory MP Mr Daniel Kawczynski has tabled a motion condemning Mr Power Cable's Condemnation!
Presumably Mr Kamikaze is not doing this to get some CHEAP PUBLICITY but to register his profound support for the torturing, murdering, blackmailing, bribe-taking, anti-democratic, anti-gay-daddy and profoundly misogynist backwards barbaric regime. Although, come to think of it, the cheap publicity stunt option would actually make him look less of a BERK.
I DO look forward to hearing Mr Balloon give him his FULL SUPPORT.
Well done to Mr Power Cable for turning down a slap up banquet in honour of King of the Sauds, King Ablutions.
I have to say, it was a bit of a CHEEK of his rude royal richness to have a go at Great Britain for not doing enough to combat terrorism, when a great many more terrorists appear to come from his country than from ours. (No need to mention the nationality of the World's Official Number-One Nutter and Winner of the "Which Cave Shall I Hide In" Award for the last four years running.)
Saudi Arabia is the sort of country that gives MEDIEVAL DESPOTISM a BAD NAME. There are times when it seem like half the radical groups in the Middle East were radicalised because of the extreme oppression of people in Arabia… and that the OTHER half were radicalised by militant manuals funded by the Saudi Government!
(The ultra-conservative Wahhadi brand of Islam that the Saudi Government is pushing seeks principally to turn the clock back to the Time of the Prophet, preaching that the religion has been corrupted by undesirable innovations and modern materialist cultural influences. That means US by the way. Mind you, they don't seem to mind such modern materialist cultural influences as receiving squillions of oil-dollars in ready cash.)
Their RECORD on human rights can be found in the HORROR MOVIE THEMES section, and we still do not know whether they were taking ILLEGAL BRIBES from BAE… largely because they BLACKMAILED the British Government with the threat of no more co-operation on terrorism if we didn't quietly drop it. Remember: Corruption is a CRIME unless, apparently, the Prime Monster decides he'd rather it wasn't.
HILARIOUSLY, Conservatory MP Mr Daniel Kawczynski has tabled a motion condemning Mr Power Cable's Condemnation!
Presumably Mr Kamikaze is not doing this to get some CHEAP PUBLICITY but to register his profound support for the torturing, murdering, blackmailing, bribe-taking, anti-democratic, anti-gay-daddy and profoundly misogynist backwards barbaric regime. Although, come to think of it, the cheap publicity stunt option would actually make him look less of a BERK.
I DO look forward to hearing Mr Balloon give him his FULL SUPPORT.
PS
Today was Daddy Alex's birthday, so we had a party to which King Ablutions was NOT invited!Thursday, April 12, 2007
Day 2290: Oyster Prayers
Monday:
I hope that you have all been having a lovely PAGAN HOLIDAY, celebrating the rites of SPRING and the goddess Eostre and her sacred symbol of renewal and rebirth: the EGG!
We have been on HOLIDAY too! We went to FRIMLEY: Daddy says this is where the FIMBLES come from, but I am not sure that I believe him! In fact, we went to celebrate the BIRTHDAY of Daddy Richard’s sister Emma and to play Star Wars Lego II on my cousin Jamie’s computer.
Auntie Em
We also did a QUEST for chocolate eggs and Daddy Alex discovered that he has the power to launch small people into ORBIT!
I am back now!
Listening to the BEARDY-WEIRDY of CANTERBURY’S song and dance hour on the radio on the way, though, I was particularly struck by the way it finished with everyone DRONING the “Lord’s Prayer” like a DIRGE.
I always think that this is very SAD: if you look at what Mr Jesus is supposed to have SAID it seems to me that when he says “this is how you should pray” he means SPONTANEOUSLY not “in these exact words”. The verses before even say DON’T just mouth off in the synagogue to show how GOOD you are!
Mind you, Mr Luke’s version does have him say: “say this”. Not that people speak them in ARAMAIC anyway!
When Mr Jesus starts the prayer with the word “Abba”, the familiar term for Father, he’s suggesting being conversational and familial (and NOT that the LORD is a member of the Swedish super-group).
In Hebrew nowadays “Abba” is used to mean “Daddy”!
Not that I recommend praying to MY daddies – I have been asking for a seat in the HOUSE of LORDS CLUB for AGES and am still waiting for “and ye shall receive”!
I hope that you have all been having a lovely PAGAN HOLIDAY, celebrating the rites of SPRING and the goddess Eostre and her sacred symbol of renewal and rebirth: the EGG!
We have been on HOLIDAY too! We went to FRIMLEY: Daddy says this is where the FIMBLES come from, but I am not sure that I believe him! In fact, we went to celebrate the BIRTHDAY of Daddy Richard’s sister Emma and to play Star Wars Lego II on my cousin Jamie’s computer.
Auntie Em
We also did a QUEST for chocolate eggs and Daddy Alex discovered that he has the power to launch small people into ORBIT!
I am back now!
Listening to the BEARDY-WEIRDY of CANTERBURY’S song and dance hour on the radio on the way, though, I was particularly struck by the way it finished with everyone DRONING the “Lord’s Prayer” like a DIRGE.
I always think that this is very SAD: if you look at what Mr Jesus is supposed to have SAID it seems to me that when he says “this is how you should pray” he means SPONTANEOUSLY not “in these exact words”. The verses before even say DON’T just mouth off in the synagogue to show how GOOD you are!
Mind you, Mr Luke’s version does have him say: “say this”. Not that people speak them in ARAMAIC anyway!
When Mr Jesus starts the prayer with the word “Abba”, the familiar term for Father, he’s suggesting being conversational and familial (and NOT that the LORD is a member of the Swedish super-group).
In Hebrew nowadays “Abba” is used to mean “Daddy”!
Not that I recommend praying to MY daddies – I have been asking for a seat in the HOUSE of LORDS CLUB for AGES and am still waiting for “and ye shall receive”!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Day 1935: WikiQueen
Friday:
In celebration of this special day, here is the Wikimeme represented on behalf of Mrs Her Britannic Majesty, Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Chief Perkin of the Pixie People of Patagonia, Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe, Order of Merit, Order of the Garter, Order of the Elephant (I’m not making this up!), Defender of the Faith, Gawdblessyew Ma'am.
On this day in history
Three events:
1. 753 BC: Romulus founds Rome. Remus helps.
2. 1944: Women in France get the VOTE. IRONICALLY.
3. 1994: The first planet OUTSIDE the Solar System is discovered by Polish astromoner Aleksander Wolszczan.
Two famous birthdays:
1. Mr James Newell Osterberg Jr. better known as IGGY POP who is in an episode of STAR TREK DEEP SPACE NINE as an ALIEN. No really.
2. Mr GERALD FLOOD who in in an episode of DOCTOR WHO as a ROBOT KING JOHN. I'm not kidding.
And a famous death
1. King HENRY TULIP, who oddly enough was also in Daddy Richard's Wikimeme.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Little Old Lady!
PS: Very lots of THANK YOUS to everyone who has been SO NICE about yesterday’s diary.
In celebration of this special day, here is the Wikimeme represented on behalf of Mrs Her Britannic Majesty, Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Chief Perkin of the Pixie People of Patagonia, Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe, Order of Merit, Order of the Garter, Order of the Elephant (I’m not making this up!), Defender of the Faith, Gawdblessyew Ma'am.
On this day in history
Three events:
1. 753 BC: Romulus founds Rome. Remus helps.
2. 1944: Women in France get the VOTE. IRONICALLY.
3. 1994: The first planet OUTSIDE the Solar System is discovered by Polish astromoner Aleksander Wolszczan.
Two famous birthdays:
1. Mr James Newell Osterberg Jr. better known as IGGY POP who is in an episode of STAR TREK DEEP SPACE NINE as an ALIEN. No really.
2. Mr GERALD FLOOD who in in an episode of DOCTOR WHO as a ROBOT KING JOHN. I'm not kidding.
And a famous death
1. King HENRY TULIP, who oddly enough was also in Daddy Richard's Wikimeme.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Little Old Lady!
PS: Very lots of THANK YOUS to everyone who has been SO NICE about yesterday’s diary.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Day 1923: Happy Birthday Emma!
Sunday:
Today has been the birthday of Daddy Richard’s sister.
We got her WILL YOUNG.
It won’t do her much good, as he not interested in girls, still that’s what she asked for!
Today has been the birthday of Daddy Richard’s sister.
We got her WILL YOUNG.
It won’t do her much good, as he not interested in girls, still that’s what she asked for!
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