Lovely Sarah Teather or Ms Dawn Butler, Ms Dawn Butler or Lovely Sarah Teather.
Both MPs are in the HEADLINES this week:
In Bent East, Millennium-Elephant-sized Liberal Democrat Sarah is demanding that London MPs Second Home Allowance must be ABOLISHED.
Meanwhile Bent South electors find Ms Dawn Butler MP, under fire over her expense claims.
Like Minister McNumpty, SCOURGE of all BENEFIT CHEATS, she's been, er, BENEFITING from the Second Home Allowance, and costing her constituents an extra £37,245 over the last two years*!
So, who is BETTER? There's only one way to decide…
FIIIIIGH… Hold a GENERAL ELECTION!
When Mr Frown FINALLY screws his nerve up to the sticking point (or he just plain runs out of time) the next Election, following changes by the Boundary Commission, will see the London seats of Bent South and Bent East combined into ONE seat called Bent Double (with three wards from Bent East becoming part of Hampstead and Kilburn).
This means Lovely Sarah and Hard Labour whip Ms Dawn will be facing off in a difficult contest.
So if you ARE thinking of choosing between them, then you too can compare Hard Labour Dawn's travel times to see if she's worth it, and then remember that Lovely Liberal Sarah – like ALL the Lib Dem London MPs – saves you money by NOT ripping you off for a Second Home Allowance.
*A comparison of seven North London MPs shows that Ms Dawn's claim of £18,622 per year is second only to Mr Harry "Man of the People" Cohen who's been trousering £20,940 a year for the last five years.
(Interestingly, that means that the voters of Leyton and Wanstead could have saved themselves over a hundred thousand pounds if they had elected my Daddy Alex in 2001 instead of returning Mr Harry.)
Of course, the WHOLE question of MPs getting paid for an extra home raises a great deal of RESENTMENT, even more so now at a time when people are getting repossessed (and by the very banks that we all now own!).
Fragrant Mary Reidmyday has the very sensible suggestion that the allowance should be pegged to a much more REALISTIC figure, based on renting a typical flat in suburbia. In Surbiton, in fact, for full GOOD LIFE irony.
Alternatively, there is Ms Susan Gaszczak's ALSO very sensible idea that the Government should simply BUY some nice blocks of flats in Westminster and kit out six-hundred-and-fifty bijou home-from-homes on a one each basis. This would be nice and advantageous for security too – with all the MPs in one place it would be much easier for the police to stop them getting out. Er.