Day 6899: Now that the Turkeys have Voted for Christmas…

Thursday:

I don’t suppose anyone’s noticed, but there’s a General Election on.

Manifest

So let’s put it on record that this is a VERY STUPID PLAN.

A General Election is VERY HIGH RISK.

If we get a Lib Dem government, we CAN stop Brexit. But that’s a REALLY big “if”.

If Johnson wins a majority, he can have ANY BREXIT HE LIKES. Maybe his “deal”; maybe the self-styled Spartans of the ERG will blackmail him into No Deal. “Spartans” being an anagram of “AN SS PRAT”.

We should have taken every extra day we could get to look at Johnson's "deal", unpick it, show it for what it is. We should have hung him out to dry in a Parliament that would not let him legislate, show him up as weak, powerless and posturing.

Yet faced with 19 Labour MPs voting for the clown car’s Withdrawal Agreement Bill AND the sight of Jeremy Corbyn slipping into Number 10 for talks with the Government on how a timetable for debating the bill might be agreed… a last roll of dice seemed like the better option.

Remember, every day that we are still in the European Union is another day of winning, is another day closer to proving Brexit is impossible, and ending this nightmare.

So where do we stand:

With the odious Nigel Farrago having finally been swallowed by his own betrayal narrative – accepting a one-sided deal with the Tories to stand down half his company (they’re not a Party) in exchange for bugger all – the Brexit Party (not a Party) are now a spent force, excepting that their subversion of the Tories is now complete.

So in England, these are the THREE Parties and their strategies:
(Wales and Scotland have nationalist parties as well, who have their own agenda, particularly Nicola Sturgeon and the Scottish Nasty Party, who are out for gaming ANY result to achieve a new independence referendum.)

CONSERVATORIES

The Tory strategy is to say only they can finish the mess they’ve made by getting us into the Brexit disaster. Yes, their pitch is they can make a COMPLETE MESS. And the evidence is that they CAN!

It’s a horribly short-termist tactic – within weeks of the election it will be clear that “get it done” means “you’ve been had”, as the country progresses to merely the next round of endless argument and fear of another no deal – but the cynical wiring into the nation’s exhaustion with the debate and division that THEY THEMSELVES caused appear to be working.

In a further divisive calculation, they’ve also decided that since most of the population believe politicians lie all the time, they might as well just lie. So thank you to all right-on comedians and commentators who’ve been fostering this for years and years by lazily telling us so over and over and sneering ‘They’re all the same’ (because that’s easier than actually explaining that most politicians try to tell the truth as they see it); congratulations, you’ve empowered a fascist takeover.

So, so far, what we’ve heard from the Tories has all been about costs of Labour’s manifesto (made up); consequences of a coalition between Labour and SNP (made up); and next to nothing about their own plans.

And it’s working.

With a few honourable exceptions, the media is failing us catastrophically by merely parroting the Tory line, rather than challenging the government who are SUPPOSED TO BE IN POWER over what they are actually doing.

HARD LABOUR

The Labour party strategy is the same as it always is: claim that the NHS is being privatised.

Oh yes, they’ve got a whole Scandi-style socialism smorgasbord of policies: nationalise everything so they can give away everything from free broadband to free tuition fees, and the price tag hardly matters because (a) the Tories are promising to spend money like it’s going out of fashion too (didn’t they used to want to “save the pound”?) so costings are largely fictional, but (b) they aren’t going to win anyway!

Labour’s big weakness (after their Leader) is their incoherence on Brexit.

We know that Labour would much rather Brexit was “done”… well not “done” as such (see above), but we all know too that Johnson and Jeremy can agree that passing the Withdrawal Agreement Bill means “done” because it suits their interests… And Labour want it “done” on a Tory watch, so that the Tories are to BLAME, and so that they can go back to campaigning in their comfort zone of “Vote For Us Or The Puppy Gets It” (where as usual “the puppy” means the NHS).

What Labour are doing very well is attacking the Liberal Democrats.

IF Labour’s real aim is to beat the Conservatories, then this is COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE. Most of the seats where Lib Dems are challenging, across the South-West, the south of Manchester and of course London, are seats that we can win (and have won!) but Labour cannot. To flip the Labour line, taking votes from the Lib Dems really does let the Tories in.

And yet as in 2017 and 2015, Labour are working hard to convince those voters that to choose Liberal is to let in the Tories, even though the reverse is true.

So why are Labour doing this. Firstly because it’s easier. Secondly, because it provokes US to attack them BACK, and that’s a look that works better for them then for us: “look! how shocking! the Lib Dems are attacking Labour! they must be Yellow Tories!” they do say. But thirdly because Labour actually PREFER a Tory government (with them in Opposition) which they can rail against in comfortable impotence. What truly terrifies them is a Liberal Democrat government that might actually change things for the better, suddenly revealing that the entire Labour movement has done NOTHING for decades.

And it’s working.

The “vote for us or you’re helping the Tories” message is playing on fear and shoring up the rather tattered remains of the alliance that voted for Corbyn in 2017, back before Labour decided that it could put up with antisemitism more than being anti-Brexit.

THE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS

Lib Dem Fight Back

The Liberal Democrat plan in this Election – and any General Election that wasn’t 2015 – is to GET NOTICED. We have to offer HOPE and CHANGE. Change from the stale duopoly that just swaps one authoritarian power for another; hope that we can break out of the past to build a better future.

That’s not going well.

The Tory and Labour leaders have collaborated with ITV and BBC to lock Jo Swinson out of the debate to be Prime Minister. The “excuse” which they won’t say too loud is that “only Johnson or Corbyn can be Prime Minister”. They won’t say that too loud in case someone realises that that means there’s something WRONG with the election.

The Labservative framing of the Election is pushing people into the old choice of “who do you fear more?” Vote Labour to stop the Tories getting in; Vote Tory to keep Corbyn out. Don’t vote Lib Dem or you’ll let the others in!

We should be doing so much better than this.

When we campaigned in the Euro Elections on our VALUES, we WON.

It’s been a JOY to support Siobhan Benita’s campaign to be Mayor of London, because she’s been talking to people about our VALUES – and making speeches saying: “immigration is good” and “end the war on drugs”. Liberal solutions to crime, housing, clean air that liberal London needs.

And I have been BEGGING to stand for Parliament on a Liberal Values ticket, to say we can be radical and different. We NEED Liberal Voices to be there, so that the case for Liberalism is made. LOUDLY and OFTEN.

Instead we’ve positioned ourselves as safe and sensible. The moderate centrists rather than the extremist wingnuts of right and left. There are GOOD things in our manifesto. But also too much “don’t scare the horses”.

Well Liberal Democrats SHOULD scare the horses.

If the plan is to get noticed, then RADICAL GETS NOTICED. Soggy centrist mush does not.

Look at the alternatives:

Corbyn cannot make his mind up (or cannot ADMIT to making his mind up) on the biggest issue since the end of World War Part II. And cannot bring himself to clean house even in the face of overwhelming evidence of antisemitism riddling his Party.

But somehow WE’RE the bad guys for not standing down for any pro-Europe Labour MPs who – no matter how pro-Europe – will still trot happily behind putting an antisemitic Lexiter into Downing Street.

Johnson, by his own admission, should be looking out ditches to go lie in. His hope to bounce parliament and country into his “deal” without scrutiny has failed.

But the message that he’s a failure has been allowed to slip away, by letting him have the pre-Christmas election he was gagging for, making him look again like the master of the agenda, rather than the servant of chaos.

Why are we not cutting through against two appalling LOSERS?

Because we are campaigning in GREY when we should be campaigning in GOLD.

SO HOW DO WE GET TO LIB DEMS WINNING (from) HERE

We are letting the Tories get away with setting the agenda, THEIR agenda, defining Brexit as nearly done, rather than about to get a whole lot worse, and all the empty promises they can make from a dividend they will never deliver. We are letting Labour’s attacks pull us onto THEIR territory (you’re with us or you’re Tories). We’re NOT playing to our RADICAL strengths.

So we need to be LEADING THE FIGHT against the Tories more.

And we need to start LOVE BOMBING the Labour lot more.

In her leadership campaign, and in her victory speech, Jo talked about building a LIBERAL MOVEMENT, drawing on people from all traditions, Liberal, Green, Tory AND Labour.

We’ve gone all in to win over Tory remain voters – but at the risk of alienating the social democratic voters who we need too.

Labour voters think Labour are the GOODIES (they’re wrong, but you can’t tell ‘em that – it’s an emotional thing). To win them over, we need to be showing we are GOOD too (and BETTER!).

They GET the problem with Corbyn. Many of them SHARE it.

But seeming to attack Jeremy more than Johnson risks that. Yes, we say “no deals with Johnson or Corbyn”, but they HEAR “no deal with mwah mwah mwah Corbyn”. Well actually they HEAR “we hate Magic Grandpa!”

We have clear lines of attack on Labour: antisemitism, irresponsible spending, arrogant, out-of-touch leader and above all the dithering indecision over Brexit because Jeremy decided the EU was a bad thing when Tony Benn told him so in 1975 and he hasn’t changed his mind about a single thing since.

But beyond “Stop Brexit” what are our clear attack lines on the Tories? We have a route map to Zero Carbon Britain; they would rather back fracking. We would build a better economy based on a new green deal; they scrapped it. We would tackle the root causes of crime; they just want to lock more people up. Why aren’t we saying these things more. And loudly.

Sure, we should say Labour are WRONG: we think they have the wrong answers or no answers.

And with Labour attacking us, we are RIGHT to point out their hypocrisy.

They say austerity is a failed Tory ideology. Our plans to invest in education and health are BETTER than Labour’s.
They say there is a climate crisis. Our plans to achieve Zero Carbon Britain are BETTER than Labour’s.
They say crime is a blight on lives. Our plans to tackle knife crime, end the war on drugs, and work for and with young people are BETTER than Labour’s.

But we still need to be beating the Tories over the head with their Brexitopocalypse MORE.

Tories CHOSE the austerity, and kept it going way past the point it might have been working.

Tories abandoned all the GOOD GREEN investments that Lib Dems began in the Coalition, throwing green businesses under the bus.

Tories cut the police and knife crime got worse under Boris Johnson as Mayor of London. He HID from the riots and cannot face a crisis.

And Brexit makes austerity worse, makes it harder to tackle the climate crisis working alone not with Europe, has triggered an eruption of hate attacks that have pushed fear of crime way up.

With all of the defections – and in spite of the wonderful Luciana Berger and fantastic Chuka Umunna being ex-Labour (but Blairites so – to the Corbyn Cult – “Tories” anyway) – making us look more like a Tory Lifeboat for the soft liberal wing of the Conservatories, or worse the Continuity Cameron/Clegg Party, we need to be DISTINCTIVELY LIBERAL. Not “I’m Tory Plan B”.

The Tories have RUINED this Country. Liberalism WOULD DO BETTER.
Labour have LET the Tories RUIN this Country. Liberalism WOULD DO BETTER.

I love Jo. And I think she IS distinctive. Her interview on ITV was positive and upbeat, especially after the slapstick debacle of Johnson and Jeremy going at each other, but not listening to anyone for an hour. But we need more.

If we are going to Stop Brexit and Build a Better Future… we are going to need to Build a Better Liberal Democrats.

Day 6739: Polls Apart

Friday:


It is three weeks since the European Elections changed everything and there’s really only one story in town. It’s just not the one you think it is.

With 3 MEPS Lib Dems topped the poll in London

Obviously, the news cycles are dominated by the Conservatory leadership. After all, Game of Thrones is over now, and the audience needs a new hit of blood, guts and sexposition…

But whether the idiot in the clown-car is now a shoe in for the Iron Throne or might still get removed by an unexpected twist, what’s less obvious is that the entire debate is framed by the real confrontation: Liberals versus Fascists.

Liberals. Standing up to the Fascists. Who’d have guessed?!

Brexit has always, always been about choosing whether we are a closed off, inward-looking Little England trying to recapture a past that never was, or an outward, embracing, forward-facing Great Britain working with the family of nations for a freer fairer future.

The failure of Theresa Maybe Not to get a Brexit that was Brexity enough for the Mogglodytes meant we got to take part in the HUGE democratic exercise that is the European Elections.

Which lead to the ENTIRELY PREDICTABLE comeback of Nigel Farrago and his Kippers 2.0. No policies. Just an overweening ego and a betrayal narrative.

(“oh but we all know what Nigel stands for” – well on the evidence, stealing his constituents’ money to spend on propaganda so he can continue to not do his job and fail to defend Britain’s interests. How’s THAT for a betrayal narrative?”)

What was less predictable – in the sense that it was predicted by absolutely no one up to and including Professor Sir Not-Richard Curtis while he was reporting the actual actual figures on local election night and still saying “well this is going to be a good night for the Greens” as the Lib Dems soared passed 700 gains – was that the Liberal Democrats would be the clear opposition.

Liberals. Standing up to the Fascists. Who’d have guessed?!

A simple, clear message. “Stop Brexit”. We changed our story, and changed the national story.

We stood up for our values. Liberal , not “centrist”. No more standing in the middle, apologetically getting hit by cars coming in either direction. Taking a stand – like we did on Iraq, like we did on I.D. cards. Not necessarily the popular choice, or the easy choice. But the right choice.

And that was all it took, for us to win London. To break Nasty Nige’s claims to be the “winner”.

Parties that favour Remain outnumbered the Quitlings on election night, and a big big part of that is the Liberal Democrats. We might not quite have managed to form a Remain Alliance, but together the Liberal voices and Green voices and Scottish and Welsh Voices are more and better than the Brexit Party.

Liberals. Standing up to the Fascists. Who’d have guessed?!


So the polls – I mean never mind the polls, but the actual vote on Euro-election night put us second, beating Hard Labour’s wilting rose and the Conservatory’s burning tree; the actual votes in Peterborough show us quadrupling our vote in Brexit central – but since then polls have shown us well up, including one having us tops.

What can all this mean?

It means two things. First, there is no limit to what we can achieve, and there should be no limit to the ambitions of our next leader, whoever SHE is.

(What? What! Oh go on, vote for Jo!)

But second it means we must embrace that clear Liberal message. When we speak with our fluffy hearts, when we are clear, when we are Liberal we win.

This country needs healing. So much. And we will offer hope for everyone. But we cannot try to offer something that will satisfy everyone. We cannot try to straddle that divide. Look at what happened to Labour. They said they were trying to bring the country together. They were – rightly – seen as trying to say one thing to Remainers and the opposite to Quitlings. If you speak with two faces, soon people start to think of you as two-faced.

The nearest comparison is Northern Ireland. It’s a bit artificial, because there are artificial rules there that mean you have to have Unionist and Nationalist power-sharing. But when the brakes were taken off after the Good Friday agreement, the votes didn’t go to the middle of the road Parties, they went to the ones who said what they meant.

That’s happening in the rest of Britain. Liberal Democrats on the one side. Brexits on the other. No longer right and left. Right and Wrong.

Liberals. Standing up to the Fascists. Who’d have guessed?!

If there was a time when the gulf could have been crossed, it was in the weeks after the Referendum, when a Prime Minister of vision could have brought together people from different sides to find a solution that saw us leave but remain close. It would have cost a bit for both sides, but Remainers would have been soothed, and Quitters would have had their departure.

But instead, the Quitlings went berserk. Seizing their waffer-thin victory, cobbled together by promising a different Brexit to almost every different voter, and claiming that it was a mandate for whatever mad scheme entered their heads: abolish human rights – will of the people, Empire 2.0 – will of the people! Denounce the judges – will of the people., General Election to Crush the Saboteurs – will of the pe… oh fluff, look how that collision with reality worked out.

Last week, there was research showing that the soon-to-be-former Prime Monster’s three years of promising No Deal because it’s better than a Bad Deal right up to the point of sitting down and being show just how very much WORSE it was has not been completely successful in bringing the country back together either.

In fact, if you want to piss off 90% of the people, just pick a Brexit. Any Brexit.

TMPM’s catalogue of cluelessness has hardened opinions all round so much so that each different Brexit tribe is now so utterly convinced of their own deluded version of Brexit (no migration Brexit, sovereignty Brexit, take back our laws Brexit, Singapore on Stilts Brexit, Red White and Blue Brexit, In Out Shake it All About Brexit and every other Magic Unicorn Brexit) and utterly so convinced that any other Brexit would be a BETRAYAL™ that they would all rather we Remain than get the WRONG BREXIT™.

And the 48%, who might well have accepted with a few British grumbles that they lost in 2016, are more pissed than ever that they’ve not only not been listened to, and called traitors up and down the country by that fatuous fag-smoking former banker in the affected Barbour Jacket, that they are now more than willing to say, you know what, we were actually bloody RIGHT in that Referendum and we damn well don’t want to put up with this Brexit nonsense any more.

Everything has changed.

The old parties tried to ride Farrage’s tiger and it’s turned on them and eaten them.

There is only one path to healing.

And that is Stop Brexit. Bollocks to Brexit. We are better than this. And when we say so, we win.

Liberals. Standing up to the Fascists. Damn right. And about time too!

Day 6676: Europe: The Final Countdown. Again.

Friday:

Happy STILL IN the European Union Day. Again. They come around so quickly, don’t they!

People keep asking me “What is going to happen about Brexit?”

To which the correct answer is “How should I know, I’m a stuffed elephant!”

But let’s give it a go.

There was exactly ONE moment when Brexit could happen, and that was 23:00 on 29 March 2019.

And it didn’t.

Entirely thanks to the ineptitude of Brexiters in and formerly-in the Cabinet demanding more unicorns and less reality in their Brexit and through the religious intransigence of Brexiters outside the Cabinet insisting that this Brexit wasn’t Brexity enough, they missed the exit.

This is undeniably good news.

Parliament, and to an extent even the Prime Monster, have looked twice into the ABYSS of “no deal” and said “no thank you very much, matey” to the death and disaster that likely would follow.

So what do we do instead.

Well, Parliament is already off on its Easter hols…

No, that’s super UNFAIR – they’ve all been working absurdly hard to try and agree on nothing, and taking time away from the bubble might clear heads and let some fresh thoughts in.

But still, this extension actually takes all the pressure OFF The Prime Monster to get her agreement signed. And equally OFF of MPs to come to any agreement for it or any other deal.

And we have seen for the last six months that if there is an option to kick the can down the road, Mrs May will punt it into the longest deepest grass she can find.

Which unfortunately gives them all time to think about doing something else instead.

The WORST that could happen would be European Parliament Elections AND a General Election AND a referendum.

So you can bet that that’s EXACTLY what’s going to happen.

With the Conservatory Party visibly self-destructing before our button eyes, it will not be long before they do something… rather rash.

Pundits saying that the Prime Monster is safe until December because of the rules of the 1922 Committee… are overlooking that the 1922 Committee can just change the rules. We’ve already had the suggestion of “Indicative Votes of No Confidence”, which would be just as lethal as the real thing if lost.

Of course, Mrs May is a past master of seeming to promise to go, only to indefinitely defer the deadline – before the 2022 election, once the agreement is passed, when the stars are right. However, the even-by-their-standards frothingly outraged reaction of her Party to having to fight the European elections suggests time is very much reaching its fullness and the appropriates of her juncture is fast approaching.

The time limit that the Prime Monster has set herself is the 30th of June, though a calamitous showing at the now-inevitable Euro elections could truncate her tenure even further.

And to be fair, not a moment too soon. She has been absolutely the worst Prime Monster since, er, the last one, who is really to blame for all this mess. But Mrs May should have gone after the unnecessary election that she lost and only the unique combination of personal mulishness and no one else wanting to be left holding the ticking timebomb let her stay. Alas for Theresa, proving that she would rather defer Brexit forever than be holding it at the moment of detonation has removed her last purpose, that of fall guy.

I actually have this notion of Theresa May that, should she be ousted either by some confected 1922 Committee mechanism internal to the Tory Party or by a Parliamentary vote of no confidence in her government… she will still be Prime Minister long enough to send a Revoke letter to the EU.

It would be a final act of petty revenge, but she’d finally be doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons.

And she would tell us, from her Downing Street podium, that – entirely correctly – she was justified in this by the House having repeatedly voted down no deal and there simply being no time to reach agreement to do anything else.

She could literally save the country to spite the ERG.

But alas, that’s really too bold, to daringly pro-active for the Theresa we’ve come to know.

Most like she’ll just slink away to her field of wheat. Or what blasted heath is left of it.


So the Conservatories will need a new lunatic to take over the asylum. And the chances are they will replace the current one with the egomaniac second only to Mr Balloon in the annals of BLAME, Boris Johnson.

Not to say they won’t move heaven and earth – more like hell and earth – to stop him getting to the final two, because if he goes before the members he will win on a manifesto of bluster blubber and betrayal.

The alternatives though are not many. Either one of the swivel-eyed band of Mogglodytes, possibly Moggy himself. If Johnson gets it, he’ll split the party in a week. If one of the ERG lot get it, they’ll split the party in under a day.

Or there are the “moderates” – the deeply unlovely betrayer of human rights, Sajid Javid or the incarnation of the Banality of Evil, Jeremy the former Hulture Secretary. Either or both hoping to play the “John Major” of this scenario – winning from out of the bland – though neither have the shining charisma or raw sexual magnetism of a John Major. And that’s saying something. They are tainted with the Remain vote, though, for all the effort they’ve put into being more right-wing-than-thou. (Which, actually, was Mr Major’s problem too – he had to out-Thatcher Thatcher, hence all the insanity from railway privatisation to Back to Bedsocks, but that was last century's Tory tragedy.)

Obviously it would be a LOT better for all of us if they decided to look for fresh blood (no, not in the Zombie Apocalypse sense) and went to a fresher face, who could actually negotiate with Europe and build a national consensus again… no, I don’t see it happening either.

They’re going to pick another loony.

And then between two and twenty of the centreerists of the Dominic Grieve flavour will cross to the TIGgers (now renamed ChUKles) and the government will fall. In fact, a SMART Tory leader would jump before pushed, calling an immediate election rather than be humiliated into one.

Which would leave us with Boris Johnson versus Jeremy Corbyn. Which Johnson would win.

That’s not to underestimate Mr Corbyn. But against a robot with a manifesto that promised a death tax on her own core vote, Mr Corbyn still only managed to drag back Labour’s performance to really very awful. He’s not going to win back the forty seats in Scotland from the SNP that he needs to be anywhere like in contention for a majority. And his equivocation on supporting a People’s Vote or a Revoke Article 50 mean he’s frittered away a lot of the goodwill of the young people who believed Magic Grandpa was playing Seven-dimensional chess to stop Brexit.


The first thing to remember is that TMPM doesn’t actually HAVE a “deal” as such at all.

What she’s got is a Withdrawal Agreement, an acknowledgement of what we need to do to settle our existing obligations – mainly pensions for UK civil servants and MEPs, and projects that we signed up to and that went ahead on the understanding we were going to contribute – so we can settle our bills on the way out the door.

The Johnsonian notion that we can walk away from the Withdrawal and let the EU “go whistle” is obviously nonsense on stilts.

The first thing we would do after quitting with “no deal” is to go to Europe to sort out our customs, defence, security, common air-travel, fisheries etc etc agreements…

And the SECOND thing we would have to do is eat copious HUMBLE PIE as they wave the Withdrawal Agreement at us with an air of “What about paying for those dumplings you had, then?”

The real “deal” is the Future Trading Relationship, whether we are in the Single Market, in the Customs Union, in a Free Trade agreement or in the DO-DO of a no deal scenario.

“No deal” is the utter severance that is yearned for by the ardent Brextremists who laugh off the fears of “experts” and warmly welcome the notion of “trading under World Trade Organisation terms”.

This is because they do not know – or care – what that really means. Or worse, they do know and plan to make a killing by shorting the pound against the collapsing British economy. What it means is tariffs, schedules and border checks. Oh my.

Tariffs are actually the LEAST of our worries. The Government laid out its plans for a lot of zero INBOUND tariffs, which might seem good for people buying things, but they cannot fix the OUTBOUND tariffs that will make selling things to other countries HARDER, and with zero tariffs in place give us nothing to negotiate with when we try to change that. Disgraced former Defence Secretary Fantastic Dr Fox will remain a useless adornment to the government. So it’s not all bad news.

The schedules, though, are a very complicated set of lists and quotas that say how much of a thing we can import at a low tariff rate, how much has to be at a high rate, or how much we cannot import at all. Britain’s are all tied up with Europe’s, so expect a big fight over what our share of the EU schedule actually is. Which will obviously be helped HUGELY by having just TICKED OFF the rest of the EU by not agreeing the Withdrawal Agreement.

But the border checks are the MOST complicated, because under WTO rules you need to prove where the things you are taking across a border came from. And not just the whole finished product, but all the bits that made it up. And all the raw materials that the bits were made from first. And you have to stop lorries and boats and planes and check the paperworks. Which takes a LONG time. At the moment, in the Single Market, we get a lorry though the port of Dover every TEN SECONDS. Just how much of a delay do you think it will need to be before those lorries start backing up along the M20? Hello carpark-Kent. Hello food shortages and soon food riots. Hello people starting to DIE from lack of medicines.

And of course any country in the World – including the twenty-seven we’ve just magnificently flicked the V’s at; including Argentina who still want the Falklands – can start a trade dispute with you. Several already have, including the biggest economies in the World, China and our supposed best buds the Americans (make that trade deal great again, the Donald). You need teams of "experts" to provide "evidence" and agree "compromise" - all the things the Quitlings hate. Your free trade quickly gets very sticky, tying you up in knots for years.

One thing we DO know about Boris, though, is that he DOESN’T LIKE HARD WORK. Work like fiddly negotiations or difficult compromises or learning a brief when a woman’s life depends on it.

So why not try this for a Boris lark. He arrives in Downing Street victorious and announces, with another turning on a dime volte-face, that Britain clearly needs to choose its destiny again and there will be another referendum. He will rise magisterially above the fray. And with that vanishes inside Number Ten to make away with the silver and the secretaries.

And with one voice the nation cries:

JUST MAKE IT STOP

And so the nightmare is over. As long as Boris remembers to send the Revoke letter.

Brexit is dead. Or undead. At least until Halloween.

Now we just have to find a way to undo all the massive harms they’ve done getting us to this absolutely dead end.

Meanwhile, here is some Dr Woo…

Day 6516: Making the Case (Richard the Third)

Saturday:

We’ve been looking at Daddy Richard’s campaign to be the Lib Dem candidate in Cheadle, with his speech and literature.

But this is the MODERN age of Internets and newfanglery.

There are new ways to talk directly to the members and voters.

So, because of the low spending limit, we cut our campaign to the cloth allowed, and instead of producing a second colour leaflet, turned it into an email manifesto.

Let’s be honest, it’s a bit too long to be an email. It makes a rather better blog post… which gives me a really good idea!

Read on…

Dear Dave,

In seven words:

"Freedom, Fairness, Future. Our Shared Liberal Values."

More and more people are agreeing with me that we need a campaign built on principles not just potholes.

I've been talking with members of Cheadle Liberal Democrats about our Liberal Values, members who joined us because we took a stand, from Iraq to I.D. cards, from climate change to Brexit - and when we take a stand our values stand out.

Let me give you seven words about Cheadle that show how our values connect to people.

Freedom from illness. Fair treatment for everyone, free at the point of need, including mental health treatment. And fair taxes to pay for a Future for the NHS and social care.

This is Stepping Hill. My husband Alex was born here. I've talked with nursing staff, they are some of the most caring and dedicated people I've ever met.

But the NHS is in constant crisis and reports show Stepping Hill is failing because of short-staffing.

Stockport Together is going to be one of the first trials of bringing health and social care together. But the Care Quality Commission say that the project has been left in confusion since Labour took over. And the Labour Council have cut over £700,000 from mental health care in Stockport.

This is why it’s so important that Liberal Democrats take back control of the council.

The Freedom of living in your own home, building a Future for your family. The Fairness of affordable homes to rent or buy.

I grew up round here, moved to London for work, and came back to make a home with my husband. Four years ago this week we got married at Stockport Town Hall. That’s a very personal way that the Liberal Democrats made my life better, by changing the law so I could marry the man I love in the town we love.

Everyone should have that chance to enjoy the quality of life in the North.

But Stockport is under pressure to build new homes, pressure from the long-delayed Greater Manchester Spatial Plan and from Tory-run Cheshire East’s plans at Handforth Dean, which I've campaigned on in Bramhall. We have to talk about the Green Belt too; it so important to protect access to green spaces.

We need new solutions, new towns and green corridors. We need to build sustainable communities. And we need to build the schools, shops and services to support them.

A better Future grounded in the opportunity learning gives. A Fair deal for schools to teach and pupils to learn. Freedom to learn for life not just for tests.

I went to school here. I know Stockport has some of the best schools in the country but they’re not getting a fair share from the government’s funding formula.

Head teachers having to send out appeals for cash, teaching assistant places lost, parents having to pay for equipment. We need to fight for a fairer share.

Building a real Northern Power House for the Future where people are Free from poverty and work supports the lives they choose to live.Fair taxes that will pay for the services to support a growing creative economy.

Cheadle’s links to Stockport, Manchester and the airport give us a vibrant modern economy. But since the crash of 2008, Britain’s economy has been broken. People have been hit with inflation while wages have stagnated, and Brexit is only going to make it worse.

We should be looking to the future, thinking about the creative economy and the green economy. How we will enable people to switch to clean electric cars, where that electricity will come from, and how Stockport to take a lead in achieving a Zero Carbon Britain.

Liberals have had a great story on the economy, from free trade to the People’s Budget. Now we have to develop a new Liberal economic story, based on shared ownership and co-operation, that will give people hope for a better future.

Freedom to be who you want to be. Fairness in equal treatment in work, in law, in life. A Future where no one is enslaved by conformity.

This is Stockport's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (or just LGBT) Pride, with my friend Holly who helped me organise the Lib Dem presence there. As a member of LGBT+ Lib Dems exec, I’ve been so proud of the work the Lib Dems here have done, from attending Stockport Pride to passing a motion in council of support for Bi-Visibility Day.

Liberal Democrats are great at community politics, and that's why Cheadle has such a wide range of communities: from Zumba classes to the scouts and cadets. From local businesses to neighbourhood watch. Mosque and synagogue, temple and church. Our work can help them all.

But Britain has never felt more divided, with populist politicians blaming migration for the outcome of their own years of neglect.

I remember the way gay people were targeted in the 1980’s, with Section 28 and James Anderton, then Manchester's Chief Constable, treating gay people shamefully. Now the Jewish community, Muslims and trans people are all under attack. That’s why I’ll speak up, to stop it happening again.

We need to work with our community to come together and heal the divisions, so that people once again feel proud of the rights and freedoms that come with being British.

The Freedom to enjoy our shared spaces and shared activities. A Fair sharing of jobs between council and country and continent. A Future that everyone can enjoy in their own way.

Liberal Democrats have made a difference here. It's worth mentioning that we do get the potholes fixed. Just ask anyone the difference between Stockport's roads and Manchester's.

We need to be in the Council to make people's lives better in the streets where they live. Whether it's a stolen bin or a question about a home care plan or the smell from Adswood tip. (And I've helped people with all those things.)

We need to be in Parliament too, to tackle the national issues, like the economy, like crime, like Brexit too.

And we need to be in Europe if we're going to deal with the global challenges of climate change and globalisation.

Defending the Freedoms that we won through being in Europe. Demanding Fairness for both 52% and 48%. Looking to the Future of the country beyond Brexit.

We still believe that the freedom to trade and travel, to live, learn and love make membership of the EU something we should embrace.

Democracy depends on people speaking out, it’s why we have an Opposition whose job is supposed to be to do that. That's why Labour are letting the country down. That's why Lib Dems need to stand up for our values.
Cheadle voted to remain in the EU so we have a democratic duty to represent those voices.

Cheadle has seven letters and seven wards. Over the last three years, I have canvassed and delivered in all seven wards in Cheadle constituency, including Heald Green, where I've delivered rounds, knocked doors and spent time with members of the Cheadle Muslim Association.

I have campaigned with Graham and Iain and Keith in Cheadle and Gatley. With Claire in Cheadle Hulme North. With Grace in Stepping Hill. I have canvassed with Helen and Suzanne and Mark and delivered up and down Turves Road in Cheadle Hulme South. On top of that I am Chair of the Bramhall Branch and alongside Jeremy have driven the campaigning in Bramhall North and Bramhall South.

And I've helped out in Manchester Gorton, and I stood in Macclesfield - and that is how I was able to bring people back to Cheadle to help here.

I believe we cannot just fall back on defending the wards we hold. Only working in silos. We need a 7-ward strategy. Or given the possible boundary changes a 10-ward strategy - and we should be campaigning all the way from Bramhall to Heaton Moor.

We are Liberal Democrats. We believe in reaching outward. That makes us stronger.

I believe, if we talk about our values, we can win here again.

If you believe too, please give me your 1st Preference to be your next Lib Dem MP.

Thank you

Richard


Remember: your chance to hear from the candidates and have your say on who will be Cheadle’s next Lib Dem MP will be

October 29, 7:00 pm

Ford’s Lane Evangelical Church,
11a Ford’s Lane,
Bramhall
SK7 1DQ

I hope to see you there.

As I say, that’s too long REALLY. And would have been better as a series, or as pages on our website or Facebook page.

If you live in London – or even just know any of our potential candidates there – you’ll have seen the EXTENSIVE use of the SOCIAL MEDIA that is being made, so it might be a surprise to you to learn that for Cheadle we were told we couldn’t use it. Or rather we couldn’t use it for anything that identified us as a candidate in the selection, but could for “ordinary political activity”.

And for direct communication, we were allowed a whole TWO emails to the members, which we had to send to the RO first to send them out via the local party’s Nation Builder. We were not to email anyone ourselves unless they emailed us first.

Anyone who has read any Mark Pack will know that this is going to lose you sight of important ways to interact with your correspondents – who opens the email, who clicks on any links and who you can feed back to with more info if they want.

So I think that our selection rules – or the interpretation of them – are going to need some updating here, because we have seen how our rival Parties, particularly in Labour, have made a huge use of Internet campaigning, with HootTube videos and Faceache pages. If our selections are preventing potential candidates showing they are good at these things, we are going to end up being left behind by the votes as Internet dinosaurs.

If you DO find yourself in a selection, DO make sure of your RO’s interpretation of the rules, and press them to make definitive statements at the beginning. Because there is nothing more DERAILING than having to deal with rulings two or three weeks into a campaign demanding you take down parts of your campaign in order to level the playing field with people who haven’t produced material for the modern age.

Labour and Tories are not give us that kind of break. We need to “demand better” from our selection campaigns.

Day 6515: Making the Case (part deux)

Friday:

I believe that it is VITAL that the Liberal Democrats make the case for a LIBERAL BRITAIN.

(You would think that was obvious, but apparently not.)

Particularly in these days when Sir Vince wants to make us a movement, I think we need a REASON to MOVE people, and if we don’t talk about our VALUES, they will move somewhere else.

That is what Daddy Richard stands for.

Yesterday, I shared daddy’s hustings speech from the END of the Cheadle selection. Today, let’s go back and look at some of the written material we put out from the START.

We wanted to hit the ground running with a hand-addressed “cream envelope” letter, delivered to all members on day one of the campaign.

A letter to the members

Here’s what it said:

9th October 2018

Dear Dave,

Cheadle needs a Liberal voice. Britain needs a Liberal voice, now more than ever.

We’ve had some dark times since 2015. We lost the EU referendum. Extremists on left and right are setting the agenda. Immigrants and other minorities are living in fear. But we were barely heard in the 2017 General Election.

Yet I still have hope. I was knocking on doors in Cheadle Hulme, near where I live, when I spoke with a local nurse, worried about the short-staffing at Stepping Hill because of Tory cuts, and she said: “This has always been a Liberal town”. She’s right. And that gives me hope.

I want to give you hope too.

So let’s talk about my vision.

I absolutely believe that Cheadle can be a beacon of Liberalism, shining a light that shows how our policies do work for people, and that there is a better future.

We need someone who will speak up for Cheadle, to say we need a fair share for schools; an economy for opportunity and jobs; and cleaner air and less congestion. I grew up here, I live here, I’ve got the local story to do that.

We need someone who will speak up for Liberalism as well, to say that schools set people free from ignorance; that jobs and a welfare state together set people free from poverty; and to make a positive case for freedom of movement and Europe because we all benefit from diversity, not conformity.

Because above all we need to give people reasons to want to vote Liberal Democrat again. We need to speak with a Liberal voice so people hear how we are the Party for freedom, for fairness, for the future.

With your help, we can restore Britain’s Liberal voice. So please give me your 1st preference to be Cheadle’s next Lib Dem MP.

Thank you

Richard

PS: add your voice to mine. Together we will win.

Friends and family helped address the envelopes, and we were able to produce the letters in the period between close of applications and start of campaigning.

That delivery target proved optimistic, though. 250 deliveries is an hour’s work when they are all in one road. When they are scattered over 7 wards… not so much. As with so many Lib Dem things, more deliverers would have been key.

We didn’t manage day one, but we DID get them done by the end of the first weekend.

We then went on to door-knocking, combined with delivering a colour leaflet.

Our Voice leaflet

The original plan for the three week campaign had been, obviously, three pieces of literature:

Day 1: the hand-addressed letter
Week 2: a full-colour leaflet
Week 3: a 4-page tabloid

But that was based on an estimated budget of £500.

When the spending limit of just £250 was announced (which I still think is too small for a target seat where candidates are supposed to show their talent in a wide range of campaigning), it meant cutting the campaign and the tabloid had to go.

Just for you - the Unseen Tabloid

We shuffled the more local tone from the tabloid into the colour leaflet, which had been more values/philosophical based. And that was probably an improvement, anyway.

The last piece of literature, we saved for the night of the hustings, a striking 10” square – based on the Lib Dem diamond.

A square splash!

By this point the campaign had, unfortunately, probably already been decided. But it was worth going out on a high!

One tip – if you’re ever thinking of doing this yourself – start taking round a book of “permission slips” so that you can get everyone in every photo to give their permission for use. A returning officer saying they would want to see a signed approval from everyone in all your photos can be quite a shock starting the campaign.

Tomorrow, we can talk about the modern internets and email communications!

Day 6514: Making the Case (part one)

Thursday:

One day the tale of the Cheadle selection will be told. But not today.

The short version is: when Mark Hunter lost the seat in 2015, we stepped up to try to win it back. We fought a positive, honest, values-driven Liberal campaign… but they chose someone else.

No regrets. That’s democracy. We had a fun ride along the way.

Thanks to Dave, Holly, Andrew and Daddy Alex

But we DO want to keep on taking a stand for Liberal Values and giving Britain a Liberal Voice.

Because Britain NEEDS to hear Liberal Voice.

Perhaps it’s best is I let Daddy Ricard explain, with his hustings speech:

Good evening.

I’m really pleased to see so many people here.

Because tonight is important, for our future, our community, even our country.

We need a Liberal Voice and we need that voice to be heard.

Throughout this campaign, I’ve been talking about our Liberal values.

About how Britain needs to hear those values again,

About how we need to connect to people through those values we share.
Our values should never be an add-on, an extra, an afterthought. They should be driving what we do.

Values that speak to our supporters, like:

Equality and social justice. Environmentalism.

Free trade, free movement of people and multiculturalism.

A Britain that’s open and welcoming instead of nationalist.

In short: Freedom. Fairness. The Future.

But we need to go further. To reach out to people who don’t support us yet, but who share values, like:

compassion, workers’ rights and animal welfare

aspiration, rewarding work, and social mobility

pro-business, pro-environment, pro-diversity

Freedom. Fairness. The Future. can reach those people too.

Above all, we need to offer hope for a better future.

So, let’s talk about Cheadle.

Cheadle voted to remain. People here are outward looking, forward looking, persuaded that it’s better to be a part of a common goal that helps everyone.

We share those values.

Stockport had a Lib Dem Council for more than a decade. And it shows. This town feels cared for, optimistic, friendly.

We share those values.

Cheadle has a liberal legacy we should be proud to inherit and uphold. From Michael Winstanley, back in the day, to Patsy, who we miss so much, to Mark, who was an exemplary local MP.

Cheadle’s values are our values.

We should be winning here.

But we’re not.

As our party’s new slogan says, people should Demand Better. And that starts with demanding better of ourselves.

Many of you have campaigned here all your lives. And you’re brilliant.

But we’re not winning here.

So we need to do something more, something different. We need to demand better.

I have a good local story to tell. I grew up here. Went to school here. Went to London for work. Came back to get married here. My husband was born in Stepping Hill. We’ve made a home here.

But that is just the start of the story.

Anyone can tell a local story. We know that Labour do it. Even Mary Robinson, the invisible MP, does it.

If we are going to win, we need to do more. And different. And better.

That is why I talk about our values.

The Tories and Labour have the advantage. Their messages are easy. Vote Labour for fear of Tory austerity, or vote Tory for fear of Jeremy Corbyn.

We need to change the story, make it: "who represents your values?".

We must always campaign on the bedrock of our local story.

But we must build on that with our values in order to win.

My local story is the start of a conversation about our great schools in Cheadle not getting a fair deal. But it’s our values that say why schools are important for opportunity and social mobility.

My local story is the start of a conversation about housing and traffic on the A6 and A34. But it’s our values that say it’s about defending the environment for the future and building sustainable communities.

And it’s our values that have driven me to add national experience to my story too.

With Lib Dem Immigrants, I’ve changed party policy for the better, for fairness.

During the coalition, I brought together a group that changed Nick Clegg’s mind on the Snooper’s Charter, for freedom.

And through LGBT+ Liberal Democrats we got the biggest win of our time in government, for me anyway, the right to marry my husband four years ago this week at Stockport Town Hall and make our future together.

And when we lost most of our MPs we lost all our diversity.

Not just all our women, but all our gay and bi MPs too.

Last year we won back four women MPs. We have an ethnic minority MP for the first time in a decade. We have an MP with a disability.

Our Parliamentary Party should represent the face of Britain, and deserves to have LGBT representation again too.

It’s our values that mean I have made a difference.

For freedom and fairness and the future.


And I’m still learning.

One thing I’ve learned talking to so many of you, is that there is always much more to learn. There is so much wisdom among our members.

So please demand better of me.

But never doubt I will try to deliver.

I never thought of becoming an MP.

I spent twenty years working at an ordinary job.

But like a lot of you, I got more involved because I could see that something had to be done and no-one else was doing it.

When we lost in here in 2015, I stepped up to try to win us back seats on the Council, working in Cheadle Hulme, standing in Bramhall.

When Macclesfield Lib Dems needed a candidate last year just weeks before the General Election, I stepped up. And I found I was good at it – as well as bringing their team to campaign here where they could make more of a difference.


So when I look at the state of our country and the voices on the political stage right now, I know that I have to step up again.

Listen to the division, the anger and the hurt blighting our politics, and you will hear a country that needs Liberal values.

That is why I want to be your MP.

Because Britain needs people like me to be MPs.

To be a local champion – giving us a national voice – with a positive Liberal message.

To win back this seat, we need to get organised.

We need to raise a lot of money.

Above all we need to talk to people, more people than we’ve talked to in years.

And it is talking about our values that will enthuse people, recruit new members, and give people a positive reason to vote Liberal Democrat.

In 2017, we lost here because Labour took that message of hope, even though it was fantasy.

We cannot let that happen again.

We have to tell people that if they want a better future, it’s got to be the Liberal Democrats.

I know it’s going to be hard work – I’m not afraid of hard work.

I will give Cheadle a positive Liberal reason to want to vote Liberal Democrat.

I will deliver every street, canvass every ward, speak with every voter that I can.

And I will give a voice to our Liberal values on a local and a national stage because Britain needs to hear a Liberal Voice.

And you’re all going to need to play your part. We will all need to speak up. Because winning means making our voices heard together.

And we have to start right now.

Because Brexit is happening right now.

No one is speaking for the majority in Cheadle who voted Remain.

The two Brexit parties Tory and Labour have abandoned them.

Tories are telling business to … "go away"; Jeremy Corbyn is backing the biggest job killer of all time.

But our values can speak to them and speak for them.

We must speak up as the only party whose values are pro-business, pro-jobs and pro-rights at work.

We must be positive for Remain: we say “Exit from Brexit” because we are for a better Britain in a better Europe.


All my adult life, I’ve been campaigning, talking with people for liberal causes.
If you’ll have me, Cheadle will be all of my life.

Friends, Liberal Democrats… let me be your voice.

A local champion giving us a national voice – and with something to say.

Speak up for Cheadle.

Speak up for Britain.

Speak for Liberal Values, the Values that made you join the Liberal Democrats.

Speak up for winning this seat back. And together we will win.

Please, tonight, give me your first preference.

Thank you.

In Part Two (found HERE) we’ll share some of the literature we sent out.

And in Part Three (link HERE) we'll show you our email manifesto.



We’re going to take a break from the frontlines for a little while – good news! Daddy can do my diary more! – but we will take stock and be back.

And in the meantime, if there’s a constituency out there who want to fight a positive campaign for Liberal values, and you’re looking for a top-notch candidate… well, get in touch.

Day 6459: Movement Pie

Friday:


Once Upon a Time, the people of the United Kingdom of England and Scotland decided that their king had got too uppity and chopped his head off.

And then, being very British about it, decided that what they really wanted was another king again, thank you very much.

And some MPs thought that things should go back to just how they were, with the King having absolute power over everything.

But some other MPs said, isn’t that what caused all the bother in the first place, and maybe unfair power is something we should do something about.

And so, in the end, Liberalism was born.


Mr Dr Vince “the Power” Cable, isn’t king of the Lib Dems. But he might want to be a bit more cautious about sticking his neck out…

Today he is making a few suggestions about how to turn the Party into a Movement. And, like the “Movement Pie” in TV’s “The Preventers” it is… “strangely unappetising”.

Captain Paddy used to have what was called the “Bungee Squad”, so that when he leapt off a cliff with a new notion, they could reel him back in. This press launch of a proposal to bounce the Party into following is more Lemming Squad – take the leap and expect all the rest of us to follow.



What is behind this is Brexit – obviously – and the cowardice of MPs in government and opposition. The Tory Rebels don’t want to split the Tory Party. The Labour moderates don’t want to split the Labour Party. Their tribalism is what is preventing Parliament coming together to stop Brexit. But that is on THEM not on US.

But creating a “safe space” for disenfranchised members of OTHER PARTIES – at the further expense of our own identity – doesn’t do us any good. Or in the long run the country any good. Last time we behaved like the only adults in the room, we agreed to a coalition and were annihilated for our pains. We no longer have the political capital to do that again! And look what has happened without Liberal voices being heard in Parliament?

I WANT more Liberal voices. So I WANT people to be Liberals, to support and join the Liberal Democrats.

But I’m actually pretty AMBIVALENT about a “supporters scheme”.

On the one fluffy foot, the more the merrier. On the other fluffy foot, this is wasting a lot of time and potentially money (especially if the Leader want’s his own Special Conference to make the changes) on PROCESS when we could be spending that time and money on telling people how GREAT Liberalism is. It looks an awful lot like the Politician’s Syllogism (“Yes, Minister”): we must do SOMETHING – THIS is something – we must do THIS!

(And didn’t we say One Member One Vote would get the members more involved? Now that that’s not worked we want to get the not-even-members more involved?)

We’re not in politics just to be a bigger club for people who like being in The Politics Club. Liberals are in politics to do something DIFFERENT, or we’d just have done the easy thing and joined one of the bigger clubs in the first place.

And that’s why this Movement Pie is the wrong way round. It starts from the idea of being welcoming – which is GOOD – but offers nothing different once everybody gets there. Worse it’s more “None of the Above”

For better or worse – usually worse – that’s why the likes of Brexit or Corbyn are brilliant recruiters: because they have something exciting that appeals to converts.

Liberal Democrats need to be bolder in offering something different, something that ENTHUSES people into signing up. Liberal ideas are a beacon that inspire people, and Liberals should always welcome aboard all the new people inspired by Liberalism.

If your only big idea is to say you’ll welcome as many people as you can find but only for more of the same (but not EVIL!), you may well find that not many people will be very interested in tucking into your biggest pie ever…!

Because it’s a Pie with no FILLING.

Oh it may be EYE-CATCHING. So is any SPECTACULAR BELLY-FLOP. But is it the right answer? Is it even answering the right question?

Because the Liberal Democrats have had, let’s be honest, bit of a problem for a bit of a while now: post-joining the Coalition, no one knows what the Party stands for.

To most people The Tories stood for the people with money, Labour stood for the people without and the Lib Dems USED to stand for “the None of the Above” Party. And then we were in government and we weren’t none of the above any more.

To possibly too many of our MPs and members, we were the “Nice Moderate in the Middle Party”, not to profligate not too evil, just right. The kind of people who thought John Major was too exciting a shade of grey. And while, in the current political climate, you can see the attraction of being the “we’re not nutters” Party, it’s also heavily contributing to the belief that we are the “We stand in the middle, we’ll stand with anyone, not for anything” Party.

Saying we will welcome all and sundry, no need to sign up to our values, and we will have any leader you like so long as you like them… if ANYTHING that is MORE OF THE SAME PROBLEM.

And THIS fluffy elephant says FLUFF OFF to that!

I am a LIBERAL and I want to see my Party doing LIBERAL THINGS – taking part in Europe, cleaning up our air, standing up for people who are a bit different, challenging the RIGHT-WING consensus of Labour and Tory Parties that immigrants are bad and big government is good.

Liberalism started off by being about taking power away from central control and giving it away. It started with the biggest centre of power of them all, the divinely appointed King. But it also became about taking away the power of other bullies over people.

We talk about Human Rights, which are to protect you from a bullying government, and about workers rights which are to protect you from a bullying employer, or about protection for minorities which are to protect you from a bullying mob.

Socialists might talk about seizing power from the capitalists; conservatives might talk about protecting the status quo. But they are just arguing about who has the power. Only Liberalism wants to abolish the idea of there being someone in power.

How we give power and freedom to people are big big questions: how do we – for example – free people from poverty? Lloyd George answered that with a People’s Budget and pensions; Beverage answered it with the Welfare State; today maybe a British dividend or universal basic income might be the answer.

But the question is still relevant.

Which means Liberalism is still relevant.

Which means WE need to have an answer to prove that WE are relevant!

Day 5961: The Tories: Wrong. Unstable. No Leadership.

Thursday:


Theresa Mayhem says that she needs to win a General Election to be a “strong leader”.

Well, if she’s not strong enough to cope with a Parliament that will only back her 522 to 13, then she’s really pretty WEAK indeed.

She wants you to believe that she thinks the polls are wrong and that Hard Labour have a chance of winning. Which is about as credible as a promise written on the side of a bus.

This election ISN’T about picking who’s the Prime Monster. It’s about picking a PARLIAMENT that is able to HOLD HER TO ACCOUNT.

After five years when the Coalition was starting to put Britain back on the right path, when inequality actually fell, and jobs and wages were coming back, we have had a Tory Government that has been all U-Turns, broken promises and backstabbing.

How is THAT “stability”?

And there was a lot of fuss over a poll saying that now people thought that the referendum got the answer wrong by 44% to 42% - missing the BIG picture that the country remains MASSIVELY SPLIT, right down the middle. And that Mrs Mayhem and the extreme Brexiteers are MAKING IT WORSE.

How is THAT “leadership”?

Do you want to give a BLANK CHEQUE to the Tories?

I mean it’s a good job Mrs Mayhem doesn’t have a record of saying one thing and then doing the other.

Except for her U-Turn on not holding a General Election before 2020
Except for her U-Turn on remaining in Europe
Except for her U-Turn on not raising the National Insurance Tax
Except for her U-Turn on raising the National Insurance Tax
Except for the Tory U-Turn on PIP payments for the disabled
Except for the Tory U-Turn on working tax credits
Except now she wants to break the triple lock on pensions

A STRONG leader needs a STRONG Parliament to make sure that the KEEP THEIR STRONG PROMISES.

Mrs Mayhem has caved in, again and again, to the wishes of her Extreme Right-wing backbenches, and to the whims of a handful of billionaire tax-exiles who control – unaccountably – the right-wing newspapers.

And what about that DEAL with the European Union?

How is Mrs Mayhem going to cope when negotiating with the European leaders, who are a bit less likely to roll over than Uncle “strong message here” Jezza and the supine Labour Party?

So far, in fact, it’s Mrs Mayhem who has caved in on every issue she’s tried to force: settling the rights of British Citizens in Europe before trigging article 50 (non); parallel trade negotiations (nein); Gibraltar (viva España). This does not bode well for her “deal making”.

Meanwhile, Bojo “Punishment Beatings” Johnson has been made the Old English labradoodle of President Trump: told to “sit and stay” when he was supposed to be off to Moscow; admitting that it would be “very hard not to join in” if the US wanted to fire off another volley of high-explosives into the Syrian war zone. And for all the hand-holding and the fawning Gove, Britain still got bumped to the back of the queue – sorry “line” – for the Americans to make a trade deal with the EU first.

“Take Back Control” turns out to mean “Do what Donald says (and like it)”.

If Parliament’s “meaningful vote” on the final deal is going to be, well, meaningful, it needs a Parliament that is strong and unafraid to ask questions, to speak up for ALL the different views, Remain and Leave, and the different ideas and then try and bring us back together.

That’s why you need to vote for the LIBERAL DEMOCRATS.

Liberal Democrats believe in a Parliament that represents ALL opinions – even ones we don’t agree with. Liberal Democrats believe in a democracy that means ALL voices can be heard – not silencing people we don’t agree with, not “Crushing” the Opposition. And one that trusts the people, not taking them for granted.

Weak leaders are afraid of questions.
Weak leaders are afraid of TV debates.
Weak leaders are afraid of Parliament.

Don’t give in to weakness. Don’t give Mrs Mayhem a blank cheque. Vote for a Parliament that is STRONG and hold the Tories to account for their promises.

If you want DEMOCRACY to MEAN SOMETHING: support the LIBERAL DEMOCRATS.

Day 5662: Messages for Cheadle #4 - March for Europe

Saturday:

Not in Cheadle, but joining many thousands marching on Parliament to show support for the European Union, and to remind people that democracy means listening to the minority not just doing what the victors demand.

Liberal Democrats will give the 48% a voice that will not be silenced.

I’m marching today with thousands of others for a better future and a better Britain than we’ve seen in the last few weeks. Because standing together is better than splitting apart.

I’m marching because the best of British means never giving up. When you’ve taken a knock, to get up and try again. Because Brits aren’t quitters. Even in the rain! [assuming it’s raining]

I've seen a lot of reactions to the referendum. Anger. Grief. Despair. Denial. People who've lost their opportunities to travel, learn and work. People who feel they've had their future ripped away. I've felt those things too.

The country is split down the middle. People who feel left behind. People who feel they've been had by a leave campaign that's already weaselling out of every promise they made. And they just want the 48% to shut up. That's not democracy.

I've seen leaders of Tory and Labour Party panic. Fall into infighting. That's not leadership.

What we need now is hope.

Tim Farron has shown real leadership in this crisis. We accept the result of the referendum. But we're not going to stop making the case for an open, outward-looking Britain that remains a part of the EU.

The Liberal Democrats exist to build a free and fair society. One where no one is left behind. One that doesn't put the blame on migrants. One where there is a better future. For everyone.

Britain is better than this.

12000 people have joined us since the referendum, because they want to hope again.

Join us, and we can bring hope to a new generation.

If you want a better Britain that gets stuck in and doesn't quit, join us.
If you want a better Britain that stands for hope not hate, join us.
Most of all, if you want a fairer, better future for all of us, join the Liberal Democrats.

Day 5628: Messages from Cheadle #2 - the EU

Sunday:

Street stall campaigning can be fun...

I'm Richard Flowers.

Liberal Democrats believe in working together.

That's why we want Britain to remain in the EU.

And that's why I'm here today at the Cheadle Lib Dems street stall, putting the positive case that we remain stronger in together.

You'll've heard all the scare stories. About the economy and trade.

But we don't believe the British are quitters.

We believe Britain can lead in Europe, and that there are positive things we get.

28 countries working together has already delivered a longer period of peace and prosperity than ever before in history.

But think about the future. Kids today who deserve the chance to work, travel, learn yes and even retire anywhere in Europe. We want to give them that opportunity.

The Liberal Democrats believe in a future that's better for all of us together. And that's why we want to Britain to remain in Europe.

Day 5533: 1% - A Decade of Millennium

Wednesday:


T'was ten years ago, I first opened my VERY FLUFFY DIARY and shared my GENIUS with the World.

How many things have changed in that time!

There have been three* James Bond films; four** Doctor Whos; and for five years the Liberals ran the country. A bit.

And I used to think that IMPORTANT things needed to be EMPAHASISED and so I used a lot of ALL-CAPS!

Nowadays I realise that in the Internets this is considered VERY FUNNY and should be ENCOURAGED!

So if you think YOU feel old remember… next year THE FLUFFY ELEPHANT GETS THE VOTE!

Daddy's Little Spectre

*also "Quantum of Sausage".

**Dr Dave, Dr Mat, Dr Hurt and Dr PeterC (Dr Chris just missed).

We've see the Rise and Fall of Prime Monster, Mr Frown...

From the resignation of phoney Tony... and the Government of All the Goats... to the election that never was.

From Stalin to Mr Bean. From economic crisis to 10p tax debacle to the Expenses Scandal.

Through the plottings of Milipede Snr to the Coup that Collapsed.

To I Agree With Nick.

We've lived through The Coalition...

From the decision to go into government…

…to the first 100 days that no commentator would have predicted the government would survive…

…through the difficult middle years…

…to the last Coalition budget (where I spot that Milipede Jnr has spotted his forthcoming defeat).

We've discovered it really IS the economy, stupid

And I've told you all about MONEY and WEALTH, the ECONOMIC CYCLE and the CREDIT CRUNCH and QUANTITATIVE EASING.

We've seen what happened to Northern Rock and the fall of Bear Sterns (who even remembers them!).

We've seen why Ed Miliband was wrong about the "myth" of Labour overspending …and fisked of a Labour Troll who tried baiting me!

And recently we've asked what does a Cobynite Labour economic policy actually MEAN?

and what should a Liberal Economic Policy Look like?

We've watched a LOT of movies…

Some old favourites GLORIOUSLY reinvented...

...and some that would have been better left alone!

Some Harry Potter and some Pirates and some More Pirates

Superman and Batman (good) and Batman (not so much)

Star Wars (cartoon version) and Star Trek (likewise)

Narnia and His Dark Materials




And VERY OCCASIONALLY some JAMES BOND. And some JAMES BOND. And some JAMES BOND!

…and we've watched some REALLY bad television

Bottomkickers...

Robbing Hoodie...

and, Crotchwoot


With special mention for The Amazingly Awful Mrs Pritchard (hang on, that's Daddy Alex's!)

We've had a few Christmases...

Jingle Bells

Jingle Bells

Fluffy All the Way

Oh What Fun

It Is to Ride

On a One ELEPHANT

Open Aston Martin...

And we may even have touched upon religion

When I may have occasionally disagreed with The Beardy-Weirdy of Canterbury. Once or twice.

Not to mention the Cardinal arch-bigot of Westminster

or Ruth Kelly and the Elder God Delusion!

But here are my absolute top ten favourite things about my diary for the first ten years…

#10 Mr Balloon Cartoon

OK, the silly names.

Over the years, I've had my little, er, misunderstandings about people's names, whether it was calling the leaders of my own Party Captain Clegg (as in the notorious Pirate Clegg) or Sir Mr the Merciless (as in the notorious Emperor Ming) or those of the (Hard) Labour Party Lord Blarimort, Mr Frown or Mr Milipede.

…or there are the ever changing adjectives to describe the perma-tanned pestilence that is Mr Peter Vain, er Hain. He been:

An Orange-hued apostate

A Tangerine-toned Turncoat

A Satsuma-skinned surrender monkey

A Clementine-Coloured Catspaw

A Peach-painted preener

A Sepia-stained stool-pigeon

A Fuchsia-finished old fraud

A Beige-Basted Bumbler

A Ridiculous russet rogue

A Terracotta-tinted twit

and a Heliotrope-hued hole in the head not to mention firebrick-brushed fraud!

…but from very early on – okay, in fact from my VERY FIRST diary – I have called the then leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition and now (as absurd as it may seem, and with whatever culpability for it that the Liberal Democrats may have) Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland Rt Hon David William Donald Cameron… Mr Balloon.

He just LOOKS like a Balloon. An empty pink bladder with a smile painted on it.

So OBVIOUSLY I was delighted when a national newspaper cartoonist came to the same conclusion!

see also my favourite "interview" with the Rt Hon Dave Balloon.

#9 Coining the term "Unpology"

The era of New Labour came and went like a bout of gastric flu, but it left behind a legacy of political spin doctoring – ironically usually reduced to just "spin", when the whole point of Labour's news management strategy as run by Mr Alistair Henchman was to counter the "spin" that the (mostly right-wing) press were already putting on their stories about the non-Tory Party.

Terms like "remaining on message", sticking to "the grid" and "burying bad news" have all added to the public feeling that politicians – ALL politicians – are manipulative, deceptive even downright deceitful.

But the apogee (or nadir) of this technique comes with the dark art of appearing to deliver an apology while actually not doing so, and often managing to blame the person to whom you should be apologising for their misinterpretation of your perfectly acceptable behaviour being the only reason for taking offence.

Mr Frown's Hope Secretary Jacqui Smith delivered a particularly fine (by which I mean un-fine) example.

#8 Millennium on the Moon

Labour under Lord Blairimort quite quickly gave up any pretense of Civil Libertiies and started playing the SECURITY card left, right, and centre… tell more like right and far-right and even further right.

Quite early on, I had to go ON THE RUN from the Stormtroopers of the Labour Government after they mistook my SINCERE ADMIRATION for JAMES BOND for GLORIFICATION of TERRORISM. Fortunately, I was able to apply for political asylum on the Moon. Here's the full saga…

In hiding!

In Space!

I was NOT driving!

Monster!

In the Soup!

Nose Trouble!

Escape… to Danger!

(In tribute to our dear friend Dr Nick, every title ends in a !)

#7 Defeating Mr Frank Luntz

Another early victory was the time we had a run-in with Republican Push-Poller and semi-resident "expert" on Newsnight, Mr Frank Luntz.

He had presented what he called a focus group on the telly. Clearly a sensitive soul, he posted comments on a lot of Lib Dem blogs… but obviously it was MY piece, suggesting how a STAGE MAGICIAN could have arrived at a VERY SIMILAR outcome that most troubled him.

Here's how he might have done it…

…and here's me replying to him replying to me!

He tried his hand at "predicting" again, with the thankless task of suggesting someone other than Mr Frown might succeed Lord Blairimort (and how did THAT work out, again?)…

…then made an appearance on the Comic Relief Apprentice…

…before buttering up our own Capitan Clegg.

Pleasingly, Newsnight stopped billing him as "pollster" and started crediting him as a Republican. Full disclosure is good.

#6 Defeating the "Liberal" Conspiracy

I never REALLY took to the project launched by Mr Sunny Hundal and dubbed (not JUST by me) as "Labour Conspiracy", seeing it as at best a well-meaning BLACK HOLE that would suck in and swallow up non-Labour blogs into supporting that tired old Party, and at worst a front organisation.

But then Mr Sunny Delight's munchkin Aaron Murin-Heath went a little bit, er, over-defensive in response to this little piece putting a sore Green loser in his place…

For once read the comments, and Mr God Bless the Liberal Blogosphere for riding to the rescue of a soft toy under fire!

Of course, once Hard Labour went back into opposition, it was safe for Mr Sunny to have his moral high ground cake and eat it, so he slunk back into the party and his fabulous media career™ was quietly wound up.

Meaning my Diary has outlived his PROJECT. So yay!

#5 Defeating the Mr Master

Then there was that time when Doctor Who's the Master would have taken over the Fluffy Diary (and the World) but for one elementary error…

#4 Nick Clegg, his hand on my bottom

It remains a source of GREAT PRIDE in this LIBERAL Liberal Democrat Party that no matter how silly or bizarre it might have seemed to have a soft toy in their midst passing satirical comment on their goings on, at every level up and down the Party from grassroots to grandees they have been so willing to talk and listen and take part in bloggers' conversations.

And no one moreso than the Party Leader, Nick Clegg, who really took to the bloggers interviewers and talked to us on many occasions.

Here are two of my favourite, first from early on when he'd just been elected leader and made time for us and our doughnuts between the "serious" press…

…and second just a few years later from inside the Cabinet Office as Deputy Prime Minister.

I'm particularly grateful to Ming Cambell who, when HE was leader, was the first to talk to the bloggers, and to Chris Huhne who, during that leadership contest, was so easy to persuade to talk, perhaps because he as the insurgent was as much the outsider as we were. They got us going, and thanks to them Nick saw how important it was to open up a channel to talk to friends inside the Party. And Danny and Vice and Ed and others all followed.

#3 The Day of Meeting the Doctor (and all his chums)

But it's not ALL been about the politics. In fact there's been quite a bit of Doctor Who over the years, what with the telly series actually coming back to the telly pretty much in sync with my Diary. Obviously.

The highpoint for many a fan was the fiftieth anniversary and the Day of the Doctor, which we celebrated – of course – but by remembering ALL the eras of Dr Woo and all the many starts big and small who have given us so much to enjoy and think about over the first fifty years.

Some of whom even got the pleasure of meeting ME!

#2 I am Blogger of the Year. Oh yeah!

And so, obviously, the first thing the Liberal Democrats did on getting into government for the first time in EIGHTY years was to give a prize to a stuffed elephant. I was, I have to say, taken somewhat by surprise.

Of course, it didn't QUITE work out first time around… or second… or third or fourth… but, as the saying goes, if at first you don't succeed… throw a TANTRUM!

So this is ME winning Blogger of the Year in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, (FINALLY!) 2010!

#1 Daddies Get Married

Because THIS is why I write my Very Fluffy Diary. This is why I keep telling you all this Liberal stuff.

Big Gay Wedding

Because The Liberal Democrats changed the World. For the better.

Remember that. Always.