...a blog by Richard Flowers

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Day 2994: Vote Mr Balloon to be In Europe but Sitting At the Back with the Nutters


Mr Andy writes a timely reminder of just what kind of FRUIT-LOOP it is that Mr Balloon is getting into bed with (though obviously NOT in the way that "will lead to the downfall of civilization")

Currently, Mr Balloon's Conservatories are members of the centre-right or "Christian-Autocrat" aligned European People's Party, motto: "Europe's Driving Force". But Mr Balloon doesn't WANT to be a "driving force" in Europe. In fact he wants to climb OUT of the driving seat and into the back with the MAD OLD GRANNY who keeps shouting "it's all the fault of those {delete as applicables}…"

European President, Mr Manual Barometer, has spoken of his regret that Mr Balloon is leading his men into the WILDERNESS.

And Liberal Democrat equalities spokesperson Ms Lynne Featherweight has written to the Conservatories asking them to reconsider whether they really, really, REALLY want to be allied to these sort of opinions.

The European People's Party is, currently, the largest bloc in the Union Parliament having, at least until the elections in June, 288 of the 785 members (or 37%).

For a bit of perspective, the EPP comes ahead of the Party of European Socialists (including the VERY not-Socialist Hard Labour Party) with 215 seats (27%) and the group that the Liberal Democrats belong to, the Rebel Alliance. Er, sorry, the Alliance for Liberals and Democrats in Europe, with 101 MEPs (13%).

The remaining seats are held by the Greens, the ironically-named United Left splinter party and the National Conservatives with about forty seats each. And Mr Robert Killjoy-Sulk sitting on his own at the back.

27 MEPs are British Conservatories, by no means all of whom are eager to leave the EPP. Depending on how many of the LUNATIC FRINGE he can persuade to join his gang (and how many of his OWN Conservatories he can carry with him), Mr Balloon will probably be joining the FRINGE PARTIES on about forty seats too.

So Mr Balloon is planning on moving from the LARGEST party in the Union to being the SMALLEST.

For a man who CLAIMS to be "ready for power", he certainly seems to be BACKING AWAY from the centre of the action going, "ooh no, don't ask me to actually take responsibility for leading".

And what sort of a MANIFESTO is he going to offer to the British People at the European Elections this year, anyway? A DISHONEST ONE, that's for sure.

After all, he can hardly spell out the TRUTH can he:

"Dear Voter, I'm currently the leader of the Party with MOST British MEPs and we're a BIG PART of the group that's been DRIVING the European Union, even though I keep telling you that I'm against everything that the Union are doing and that I am therefore supporting. Er.

"But give me your vote and I'll SURRENDER any influence and guarantee NO CHANGE to European policy because I'd rather hang out with a bunch of HOMOPHOBES than step up to the task of actually making a difference. And as for Global Warming… just remember, as they say in Poland, Vote Blue; Deny Green.

"Luv from Mr Balloon."


1 comment:

Jonny Wright said...

Problem is, most British voters don't care much about the details of what goes on in European politics. European elections are like a little mini-referendum on what we all think of the EU. As long as Mr Balloon can make sufficiently Eurosceptic sounding noises (whilst quietly accepting all the benefits we get from EU membership), he'll pick up a lot of votes in spring 2009. That'll give him crucial momentum to carry into spring 2010, which is what he's really interested in. This has little to do with Europe, and loads to do with the battle for Downing Street.