What with the financial crisis and all, Daddy Richard decided PRUDENTLY to split his savings between several banks. This, however, turns out merely to increase the chances of getting hit!
So, today we learn that a second of his banks has bitten the bullet and gone to the great Stock Exchange in the Sky.
Meanwhile, also bankrupt (morally if not financially) is that scion of Stock Market gamblers: Mr Balloon.
Every time Mr Frown has managed to convince me that he is the WORST PRIME MONSTER EVER… up pops Mr Balloon to show that he would be EVEN WORST-ER!
For starters, he was on Mr Andy Marrmite's sofa, telling him that "RESPONSIBLE" is the new "PRUDENT".
All of us, it seems, are "responsible" for the Credit Crunch for borrowing too much money. And the Labour, they are "responsible" for the Credit Crunch for not regulating enough.
"What about the banks?" Mr Andy invited, "don't they bear some responsibility too?"
"Er…" said Mr Balloon. "Well, if the bonuses, the package might have, er, been an incentive to take risks then, er, we would have to look at that too…"
So that's a DECISIVE: "no, actually, I won't be asking the banks to behave responsibly with other people's money, even though they've just gambled it all away!" from the Leader of the Conservatories. "Especially after it's just emerged that we Conservatories get a lot of wonga from those hedge funds who've been making a fortune by driving down the share price of banks."
So as usual, no accepting of his own "responsibility" at all from Mr Balloon.
And then there's his "plan" to have a special committee to tell the Chancellor when he's being NAUGHTY.
What ACTUAL power would MR Balloon's financial QUANGO have to stop the Treasury from borrowing? The power of EMBARRASSMENT, that's all. So, pretty much like the current arrangement, with Mr Frown's fiscal rules: Nothing.
But then get this.
Challenged by Mr Andy over the assertion that the Conservatories at last year's conference were in favour of LESS regulation (until Northern Rock hit the, er, northern rocks), Mr Balloon said "oh, but that was just a report; we didn't accept that."
Soooooo… when his new "Office of Budget Responsibility" – or "Office for Irresponsibly Passing the Buck" – when they give him a "report" that says Master Gideon is borrowing too much, what's to stop him just saying "Oh, well, I don't accept that report, either!"
Another toothless talking shop from the man infamous for setting up "policy" commissions that even when they do report don't REALLY become Conservatory policy, so there's nothing Mr Balloon can ever be caught out as "responsible" for.
Someone in the MEE-JA really OUGHT to skewer Mr Balloon on this one: EITHER he has got no policies at all, or he cannot just keep saying "ah, but that was only a report". As it is he squirms between one option and the other as suits him and then has the CHEEK to call other people LIARS for innocently believing that what he called a policy last year will not get turned into "just a report" this.
And while we're at it someone in the MEE-JA really needs to check up on the level of borrowing under the Conservatories last Chancellor, Fatty Clarke. (A clue: even with his maxing out of all the credit cards, Chancellor Sooty still hasn't reached the level of wild over-borrowing that the Conservatories ran up just to keep the economy working until the General Election!)
Now, we have to decide what to do about what's left of Daddy's savings. One thing is for sure, we won't be banking on anything Mr Balloon has to say!