Wednesday:
To Amercialand to watch the World Heavyweight contest to see who can be the STEAMINGEST hypocrite.
In the BROWN corner: the Right Honourable Mr Frown, Prime Monster of Great Britain, justly proud of his record on tackling POVERTY by increasing TAX on the lowest paid workers.
But in the WASHES WHITER corner: His Holiness Mr Pope Benelin* née Rottweiler, Bishop of Rome, Head of the Inquisition and Junior Nazi League Come Dancing Champion 1944, SPECTACULARLY claiming that his lot are responsible for human rights.
In 1215 AD, Mr Pope Innocent III took just ten weeks to annul MAGNA CARTA.
It's all very well saying that Magna Carta was mostly about the rights of Barons in castles and Knights in suits of armour, but nevertheless it was the very FIRST time that anyone anywhere had established the principle that the STATE (in the then person of Mr the King) had to obey the law too.
And THAT is where all human rights COME FROM.
But it's not all ANCIENT HISTORY for Mr Pope Benelin, who spent twenty years being the previous Pope's ENFORCER as head of the "Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith", ruling with a ROD of IRON (although no longer the RED-HOT PINCERS of PERSUASION).
There he expressed such LOVING and GENTLY-BENEVOLENT opinions as the "inclinations" of Gay Daddies being "a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil"; or voting for candidates with a permissive stance towards abortion would be "cooperating in evil"; or that issuing of condoms as part of an anti-AIDS campaign "would result in at least the facilitation of evil".
This reminds me of the MAD LADY on the radio, writer for the Catholic Time Ms Joanna Boggling, who claimed that society sexually abuses all of us, equating availability of condoms and education about "that sort of thing" to the abuse scandals within the Catholic Church.
Yeeeees, slightly different there, madam: one is about informing and empowering; the other is about taking power away. Might want to make sure you don't confuse those two.
Ms Boggling was responding to the news that Mr the Pope had met with victims of his clergy's abuse.
He called the scandal a "deep shame" and "gravely immoral behaviour". Which is lovely compassion from the man who tried to have it all hushed up.
Naturally, Mr the Pope won the big fight after Mr Frown performed an unnecessary U-TURN and tripped over his own laces.
*Benelin: nasty medicine that tastes sickly-sweet. May cause drowsiness.
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