Wednesday:
Does anybody remember the Conservatory election campaign from last year, wot Mr Balloon did write?
Here is a reminder!
Fortunately, in the intervening year, the Conservatories have learned their lesson – they have replaced nasty old Mr Something of the Night and buried him at a crossroads with last year's manifesto through his heart.
Now they have shiny new Mr Balloon, without a care or a policy in the world.
[Plays hearts and flowers music]
Out with all those old policies that lost them the election by being too right wing and horrid.
Away with "limits on immigration" now we are clean and pure and new!
Welcome new "significantly less immigration". Erk…
[Hearts and flowers music ends with discordant crunch]
The most BIZARRE thing is that after spending all year trying very hard not to have any policies at all, suddenly Mr Balloon stands up and blurts out this old nonsense. Maybe he is having a funny turn. Or an LSD-type flashback to the general election.
The Conservatories may think that it is not racist to bang on about immigration but it certainly brings them out of the woodwork!
Whether it is councillor and "firm supporter" of Mr Balloon, Mrs Eleanor Bland forwarding unfunny e-mails or the (not surprisingly now-sacked) deputy chairman in charge of the A-Team, Bernard Jenkin admitting he would be "shocked if a white male candidate was not selected" those old Conservatories just keep on coming back!From beyond the grave!
Of course, the big difference this year is NOT that the Conservatories have moved away from their old NASTY PARTY policies – it is that the Labour have move much closer towards them!
Never mind the arms race that is going on about who can be "tougher on crime" (like THAT will make any difference to how safe people ARE or how safe people FEEL) this is the GERM WARFARE of Home Office policy – the bio-weapons used in the fight to try and get the vote of Mr Sun and Little Miss Daily Mail. The problem being that once you let it out of the lab, EVERYONE ends up POISONED!
Liberal Democrat campaigns chairman Mr Ed Davey, had already written to the Commission for Racial Equality about Mrs Bland.
"Racism has absolutely no place in British politics," he said.
And home affairs spokesman Mr Nick Clogg put Mr Balloon in his place, saying: "Conservatory plans don't add up!"
My suspicion is, though, that Mr Balloon has been very cunning – he has managed to find a window to slip this announcement out without gaining too much BAD publicity. He will now keep completely schtum about immigration so as not to remind anybody… except when it is necessary to give a NOD and a WINK and a quite PAT ON THE BACK to UKIP and British Nasty Party voters that "Dave" will see them right.
Until the next time their Nasty Party habits return to haunt them and us all... From beyond the grave!
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