Day 2127: Rums-felled

Monday:


Daddy Alex’s birthday, 30th October, and we ask: what do you want for your birthday, Daddy?

Oh, no more than for George W Bush to get his richly deserved comeuppance, he says wistfully…

[wibbly-wobbly time effect]

Happy Birthday Daddy!

At the time of writing, I am looking into the future and seeing that now everybody except the official result is saying that the Democrats have won the last senate race, the one in VIRGINIA (the state named after the FAMOUS BRITISH QUEEN i.e. Madonna who is "Like a Virgin").

The Republicans have not conceded yet and there is some chance that they are going to demand a recount.

This is just like in 2000 when the Republicans said that calling for a recount in Florida was a sign of being a BAD LOSER.

It appears that the Republicans were against recounts before they were for them.

Even so, the likely taking of the Senate, and the huge victory in the House of Representatives mean that the American people have managed – in spite of the best efforts of Mr Senator Herman Kerry-Munster – to make up their minds that the ruling plutocrats of the Republican Party are actually a bit BAD.

War, corruption, scandal, broken promises, a trillion dollar deficit and a SHAVED MONKEY in the Oval Office, you would have thought they could have worked this out before now!

No, to be FAIR, the Republicans had said that they would reduce the size of the government, AND THEY DID! – Nobody specified that it would be the AMERICAN government of course, but the Iraqi government has been pretty effectively reduced. All you need to run Iraq now is a TELEPHONE and the number of the PENTAGON. (At least that’s what is says in this memo from Mr Rumsfled…)

It is like the PROPHECY in STAR WARS about Anakin Skywalker bringing balance to the FORCE – before Mr Anakin there were THOUSANDS of Jedi and only TWO Sith; after he turned to the Dark Side, he reduced the number of Jedi to TWO as well. That is BALANCED!

The immediate result of course is that the Monkey in Chief has FIRED accepted the resignation (this time around) of Mr Secretary Donald Rumsfailed. In spite of being a secretary, Mr Rumsflavour was almost as good at MANGLING the English Language as his boss, the Monkey – you might think that this is why he was kept around the place. But no! Being a Secretary for Defence it appears is actually CODE for being “man in position to take the blame when election goes belly up”. Few of you will remember him, but there was a man called Mr Buff Hoon who used to do this job for Lord Blairimort.

If Mr Rumsfolly had been fired last week – when all four of the American Military newspapers called for it and his position really became untenable – then who would have been left to take the BLAME this week? It would have been Mr Bush or Mr Cheney, wouldn’t it? The President would have had to think long and hard about it, and then fired Mr Bush.

PS

Anyone who has forgotten to send PRESENTS for Daddy’s Birthday should STRAIGHT AWAY send your boxes of STICKY BUNS to "Millennium Dome" at "My Flat". I will give him your love.