Day 4329: Hope. Again.

Wednesday:


If you're NOT exhausted by voting yet, you've still got an HOUR to vote in the Liberal Democrats Federal Elections: a last chance to give a first preference to Richard Flowers for the FPC!

Can we also say HUGE thank yous to everyone who has voted already, especially to those who gave a "Richard Flowers" first preference!

Meanwhile, thank Americaland and thank goodness, President Barry O has been re-elected.

We may not be too happy about him EXPLODING bits of Pakistan and Afghanistan with robot drones BUT... robot drones IS an accurate description of his opponent making a speech.

Running on a platform of "we NUKED the economy SO HARD that the other guy hasn't been able to fix it in four years... so give us another go!" never deserved to be rewarded with the Presidency (take note Hard Labour). And yet it seemed to be gaining BIZARRE traction. Ironically, it's all the FRUIT-BAT CULTURE WARS nonsense that he had to spout about abortion and gay daddies just so that the Tea Party faction would let him on the ticket that has cost him the election.

And it's NICE that he's united the young and the old, the women and the ethnic minorities all under one banner of "DEAR LORD, NOOOOOOOO!" Maybe next time get them on HIS side, though.

The Replutocrats tried to steel the Dumbocrats "change" clothing, but what we've seen is a vote to let Barry O FINISH THE JOB of change that only began in 2008.

So it's CONGRATULATIONS to Barry O who now returns to the White House and COMMISERATIONS to the Mitt-bot 5000 who will now be put back in his factory packaging and have his hard drive formatted.

And over in China...

Day 4083: A Super Tuesday for Dr Vince

Tuesday:



It was a GOOD day to be the President*... of the Board of Trade.

A welcome announcement of much-needed new jobs and investment always puts a spring in the stride of the Business Secretary.

Add to that a subtle hint that we Liberal Democrats might trade off the 50p tax rate that raises millions for a proper wealth tax that raises billions.

And then SOMEONE leaked a letter showing our Vince is the "Man of Vision", with a policy for social market intervention that will make George Osborne's head explode.

(And it's usually Fantastic Doctor Fox who does that!)



Many people with large property portfolios don't even NEED a large income so they don't pay lots of income tax. And with 5% of the population owning more of the wealth than the other 95% put together, it is surely fairer to ask them to contribute a bigger share.

But even before we GET to fairness, there is a good ECONOMIC case for taxing WEALTH. At a time when the economy is crying out for INVESTMENT in jobs and businesses, far too much of the nation's money is being LOCKED AWAY in PROPERTY.

That's a simple consequence of SUPPLY and DEMAND – years of planning restrictions and under-investment in housing stock means that demand for houses outstrips supply, forcing up prices. The Hard Labour Government was more than indulgent of this dangerous house price bubble; in fact, most of their so called economic policy rested on convincing people that the rise in house prices meant that they were getting richer as an excuse to keep on borrowing. Not that the Conservatory government of the Nineties and Eighties was any less guilty of encouraging house price speculation with their selling off council houses on the cheap and nation of homeowners rhetoric.

With governments of both old-Party persuasions tacitly conniving in the housing inflation, property becomes an investment that is, self-evidently, safe as houses. And BANKS prefer to lend mortgages (with a nicely-guaranteed-to-retain-its-value property to secure the loan) than business loans (which are risky in the current post-crash climate).

BUT if people had to spend LESS on just keeping a roof over their heads they would have MORE to put into investments, savings, pensions or just plain old spending – all of which are GOOD for economic growth in a way that makes locking it all away in bricks and mortar look deeply UNHEALTHY.



Now, obviously, there are DECADES of abuse laid up there, and one thing we DO NOT WANT is a property price crash to leave people with NEGATIVE EQUITY. So the government has to tread terribly softly here.

What a MANSION TAX would do is put some GENTLE pressure on house prices at the upper end while at the same time UNLOCKING some of that locked-away capital.

Meanwhile we SHOULD look at the bottom end of the house market too, because the OTHER big contributor to the swelling of the housing bubble has been the indulgent way that Housing Benefit – a benefit that benefits LANDLORDS way more than people in the house – was treated by successive governments. Daddy Alex has – quite rightly – suggested that we should be looking again at proper RENT CONTROLS.

It certainly should not be substantially more expensive to pay the rent than a mortgage on the same property – a practice that leave the HAVES (as in "have the money for a deposit") sitting pretty on their buy-to-let mini empires while trapping the HAVE-NOTS in rental dependency forever.

The best possible outcome would be to engineer STABLE house prices while the rest of the economy GROWS to CATCH UP. If anyone DOES know how to do that, answers on a postcard to Danny Alexander at the Treasury.

In the meantime, probably best just build a lot of new homes.



(*Actually, it was a pretty decent day for Barry O, too, as Mr Mitt Morony continued to play the role of wounded MOOSE, floundering through another set of Primaries, limping to near-victories while the neo-creationist fruitloops continue to bite chunks out of his synthetic credibility.)

Day 4044: Duck and Cover! This Asteroid is Close Enough to Land a Lego Man on It!

Friday:



If you're reading this at all, then snappily-named asteroid 2012-BX34 has probably NOT smashed into the Earth obliterating what we laughingly describe as "civilisation".

Or possibly: "hello to our new cockroach overlords!"

Anyway, just time before closest approach / impact at 1600 GMT to congratulate the Canadian students who managed to get a man into space. OK, he was a LEGO man, but you can't not give 'em credit for that!

And while I'm talking SPACE, if you STILL need convincing about a British Space Programme... do you REALLY want the NEO-CONS turning the MOON into a DEATH STAR?!

Run VT!


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Day 3661: The Wrong Kind of Story

Sunday:


Let's face it: human beans are pretty badly put together in the BRAIN department. It's in your interests to cooperate, but you just don't.

Instead, inside your little heads, you're all the heroes of your own story, as I said yesterday. You don't SEE other people except as BIT PLAYERS in your own PERSONAL DRAMA.

The whole of American culture – and now, by extension, the whole of OUR culture – encourages this idea: "one man (it usually IS a "man") CAN make a difference". And the corollary: the government/big business/the bureaucracy/the Matrix/absolutely everyone else is venal, incompetent, corrupt. And probably out to get you.

In how many films is this the plot? In how many TV series is this the premise? From John Wayne to "Knight Rider", from Superman to "24", even "Doctor Who" (the "rebel" from a world of "self-absorbed bureaucrats who run the universe" – which may be why it is as beloved to right-wingers as to Liberals) all say this.

(Of course it's an almost perfect fit for TV or Movies where the economies of the form – dramatic as much as monetary – require a preference for a small central cast of characters and almost certainly a single key protagonist. Who, by a total coincidence, is usually white and male and almost-without-exception heterosexual and cis-gendered.)

The maverick entrepreneur is lauded as heroic when the faceless bankers are condemned (hence the "lucky chancer barrow-boy" persona presented by Lord Sugar-Plum Fairy); the iconoclastic artist is praised as a radical while the populist is condemned as bourgeois (unless you are on "Britain's Got Strictly the X-Factor on Ice" where the plucky populist is the "underdog" against the elitist "industry" – does NO ONE see the irony in this?!); the brave protester, standing up against the vested interests of the establishment is lauded as the lone voice of "common sense" (and so the Prince of Wales, the World's most establishment Don Quixote, wearily tilts at the windmills of "Big Pharma" – defending the multi-billion pound "alternative medicine" industry – and "Big Agriculture" – defending the multi-billion pound "organic farming" industry (in which he has an interest) – and "Big, er, Architecture" – defending, well, his NIMBY chums – in an effort to use the story to make himself popular).

And it doesn't stop there, of course: it's the basis of revolutionary communism and the Führerprinzip too.

Even the World's biggest RELIGION is based on this idea. Heroic outsider who makes a BIG change; corrupt and incompetent government (bribery with thirty pieces of silver; washing their hands of decisions)… is any of this ringing any bells? Christianity historically does VERY well among the poor, the deprived, the underprivileged, the ill-educated and why? Not because those people are more credulous or more gullible (…well, maybe not JUST that…), but because it has a really good STORY.

The REASON that Superman ends up as Mr Jesus so often is because Superman AND Jesus are both YOU. In your own story you are the unique individual that changes and creates the world around you.

It's no wonder that Mr George Lucas ended up turning his own mythology INSIDE-OUT: a Force that relies on you building connections with other people, working together even(!), is the EXACT OPPOSITE of the story of the "chosen one", the one special flower who will do… whatever (in this case "bring balance to the force" but basically "win").

And in a very real way this is how the Captain went from Cleggmania to being burned in effigy: the story of the coalition simply does not fit this overriding world view.

"Star Wars" has to END with the moment that the rebels WIN; you can't go on and have them form a GOVERNMENT (and no, I'm NOT getting into "expanded universe" novels). How's the story supposed to work if the rebels next worry is about the fact that the Emperor has spent all the money on Death Stars so they have to choose between raising taxes or cutting benefits?

Likewise Dr Woo has to LEAVE the moment that the monsters are DEFEATED. Russell Davies' first series of "Doctor Who" (the one with Mr Dr Eccythump) toyed with considering the consequences of this, even went so far as to hint it was a moral derogation that ultimately allowed in the fascists. Or Daleks as Dr Woo calls them. Incidentally, it's easy and obvious to say that the Daleks represent Fascism or the Cybermen represent Communism, but actually both (and indeed our real world fear of "Fascists" and "Commies") also draw on our ALIENATION from a world that at times seems full of identical blank-faced hostile and oppressive OTHERS. Still, a literal deus ex machina saved Dr Woo from having to face the consequences of his sticking to the "and now we leave" script, and he's shown no sign of wanting to take responsibility since (compared with Mister the Master who actually bothered to run the planet for a year! With admittedly MIXED results.)

And also likewise – and forgive me – Mr Jesus' victory definitely has to come in HEAVENLAND in the AFTERLIFE. Actually solving problems here in the real world would involve, well, actually solving problems here in the real world.

Because that's the problem with the story: Real Life does not HAVE winning lines. You don't ever get to "happily ever after". Or "heaven on Earth". Or the communist revolution. "Utopia" MEANS "nowhere". It's why the ENDS never justify the MEANS – because there AREN'T ANY ENDS.

So Captain Clegg gets to be the dashing rebel, the outsider, the underdog and everyone LOVES him and against all the odds – just as the story says he should – he wins, overthrows the government and takes his place in the throne room (or Downing Street garden). He even wins the heart of the Ice Princess. Er.

After that, ANYTHING (short of hopping into the TARDIS) is a betrayal of the story. So actually GOVERNING the country was the WORST thing he could have done!


Which brings us back to the right-wing commentators and their use of the language of HATE.

Somehow the right… actually it's not "the right", that's wholly imprecise; it's the AUTHORITARIAN Parties in Americaland (who, like an icky ichneumon wasp, are consuming the economically DRY Replutocratic Party from within)… anyway THEM, somehow they get away with this.

Perhaps they're particularly good at wiring themselves into the story, subverting the story, so that their supporters get to feel like the "lone hero" up against (if the Authoritarians are out of government) the government or (if the Authoritarians are IN government) the foreign foe/enemy within: commie or terrorist or whoever. Effete European will do at a pinch, particularly in Hollywood.

They SAY they are about INDIVIDUALISM, but it's the sort of individualism that leaves you ALONE and AFRAID. Individuals who wish to be separate should have that choice, of course they should; but authoritarians DEPEND on making you feel separate, and tell you you have NO CHOICE but to be that way. It is the individualism of divide and conquer.


That's why it is so important for me that I remind you of this: Liberalism IS about empowering the individual. But it's not JUST about individuals. It's about the CONNECTIONS that you make as an individual. So it's about FAMILIES. And about COMMUNITIES. And about NATIONS. And about WORLDS.

It is the CONNECTION between us that means we have a duty to be KIND to one another. Disagree, surely, but don't despise.
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Day 3660: A Culture of Violence

Saturday:


We're all the heroes of our own story; that's how it goes isn't it? Very few people, I should think, in spite of the very bad things that they do, think of themselves as "the baddies".

Hearing about the HORRIBLE shootings in Tucson, Arizona, it was very, very easy to get all scared and angry and say that the right-wing media and commentators and politicians whipping up a culture of HATE are to BLAME.

But I've thought long and hard about this and come to the conclusion that actually… the right-wing media and commentators and politicians ARE to blame!

Ms Sarah Palin, the moose-murdering QUITTER who walked out on governing Americaland's least-populous State, has labelled such blame a "BLOOD LIBEL".

This is pretty much EXACTLY the sort of thing that she is to blame for: using lurid and violent language to portray her political rivals as literally "evil", and yes obviously painting herself as a "persecuted victim" by referring to the scandalous accusation by the more rabid form of Christian people (ironically, people LIKE Ms Palin) that Jewish people murdered children.

This is actually pretty SICK when the situation for which she is denying ANY responsibility involves the murder of a CHILD.

Lady GoreGore argues cogently and wisely that we don't know and CANNOT know what was going through the head (um, bad metaphor) of the assassin.

We DO know that someone tried to murder a Democrat politician and DID murder a number of people who just happened to be standing near to her. We ALSO know that with the rise of Ms Palin and her Tea Party, and the radio and now Faux News "shock jocks" there has been a rise in angry and hateful language. We cannot know that the former was caused by the latter.

But we CAN know that the language of hate is WRONG in and of itself.

Quite simply, Americaland is the richest safest country anywhere on Earth, anywhere in history. They have money, resources, enormous amounts of space, an almost invincible defensive position with no hostile neighbours, and (short of that super-volcano under Yellowstone going off) virtually no threat from nature that they cannot overcome with care and preparation.

And yet, Americans have been wound up into a frenzy of terror and nervous exhaustion by years and years of being told to BE AFRAID. Be afraid of disease, be afraid of foreigners, be afraid of strangers, be afraid of the government, be afraid of each other. And why? To serve the political agenda of one particularly authoritarian and (ironically) centralising faction.

Barry O got elected on HOPE, but HOPE didn't LAST. FEAR, on the other fluffy foot, fear is not just for Christmas…

But to quote superannuated Fozzi-bear-alike, Yoda: Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. And I'll come back to "Star Wars" in a bit.

The "War on Drugs", the "War on Terror", the "Culture Wars": the language of violence, and of violence as EXCITEMENT, has been used over and over to justify ever-more rightward policies.

And the language of differences over policy has been escalated first into tribal hostility and then into outright McCarthyite renunciations and THEN up into Nuremburg-level rallies tossing accusations of TREASON, denouceing denouncing political opponents – or even just useful victims: "the gays" "the atheists" "the left" yes or "the right" – as THE ENEMY, up to and including the suggestion that the President is not "really" an American. Or, in extremity, not even a HUMAN. (WARNING: may contain NUTS!)

(Like it MATTERS! For fluff's sake: the man got a popular mandate based on his POLICIES, supposedly, not his DNA. Though of course the fact that a lot of this is code for "not pink enough" should go without saying.)

Ms Palin may NOT have called for the assassination of Representative Gabrielle Giffords, but she certainly DID call for Wikileaks founder Mr Julian Assange to be "hunted down like the leaders of al Qaeda".

(And presumably by "hunted down like the leaders of al Qaeda" she DIDN'T mean "allowed to get away while we conduct an illegal invasion of entirely the wrong country".)

Setting to one side whatever may have happened in Sweden, Mr Assange's only "crime" against Americaland is to have caused ACUTE EMBARRASSMENT to some of their formerly-faceless bureaucrats.

When we've got to the level of threatening DEATH to people who EMBARRASS us we are WAAAAAAAY beyond NUTS. This isn't free speech; this is criminal incitement. And for the record, your right to free speech ENDS right at the point where you start threatening someone else's right to LIFE.


It's one of the things that APPALS me about the post-New Labour trajectory of Britain's most authoritarian, right-wing party: the Labour Party. Their use of "betrayal" and "treason" in their language; the use of intimidation, and violent intimidation on the streets by supporters and "fellow travellers" (can we say that?); the playing of the RACE card… the step from a socialist to a national socialist party ought to be UTTERLY RIDICULOUS… "unite against fascism" ought to be an ironic oxymoron, but somehow I don't think anyone gets it… and yet… and yet… there are people in or around Labour FLIRTING with this behaviour and too many people OVERLOOKING them flirting with this behaviour.

Not that there aren't GOOD people in the Labour Party who would be and are equally appalled by this sort of thing. Let us hope they reassert control over their Party.

So I DO put the blame on Ms Palin and her spokespeople and supporters.

I say to them: you are WRONG.

You are wrong in WHAT you say; and you are wrong in the WAY that you say it.

The language that you use is deliberately chosen to DIVIDE and INFLAME, to ALIENATE and to ANGER. And fundamentally you make the World a LESS HAPPY place by doing it. A less cooperative place, a less friendly place, a less – even – Christian place.

And that is just wrong.
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Day 3594: What's Depressing About the American Mid-Terms…

Wednesday:

…is hearing some Tea Party Wing-Nut exclaiming that:

"it's time for a bit less Big Government; it's time to cut the deficit; it's time to cut taxes for small businesses"

…and thinking, isn't that COALITION policy, these days?

Sigh.

The reports of the US Mid-Terms, (including his own!) all say that President Barry O has taken a SHELLACKING in these elections, which is harsh for a man who wasn't even standing and whose popularity remains more than double that of the only Replutocrat anyone has even heard of. (Oh you know – the OTHER one who isn't a WITCH.)

The FIRST thing to remember after this result is that actually it was NOT the President but CONGRESS who got a KICKING from the electorate, and that is because CONGRESS was who they blamed for the ongoing crisis.

(So if the crisis is STILL ongoing in two years, then the now-Replutocrat Congress may find it's THEM that gets a kicking AGAIN!)

The SECOND thing to remember is that for the last two years, Barry O has had almost as much OBSTRUCTIONIST behaviour from his own Dumbocrat party as he has from the toy-from-pram-flinging brigade opposite. NOW he's got to find a way to work with the Replutocrats but the same is true for them – they've got to find a way to work with HIM.

And if they DO work together, he looks like a MASTER POLITICIAN like Mr President Billary-Hillary. And if they DON'T work together, then THEY end up looking like a bunch of spoilsport rich SOBs (Son of… OBamas…. Obviously).


Meanwhile, as Americaland embarks on a second round of Quantum of Easing, people ask: "is this throwing good money after bad?"

No of course not! It is throwing IMAGINARY money after bad!

But it IS a fascinating TEST CASE, as President Barry O continues, at least for the moment, to try fiscal STIMULUS compared to Great Britain activating AUSTERITY.

Americaland and Great Britain are not DIRECTLY comparable, even if their economy WASN'T hugely greater than ours (US GDP is more than FIVE TIMES greater than UK GDP). Their unemployment is higher than our (10% as opposed to 7%); they're more reliant on a manufacturing sector in decline than we are (ours is already declined); and most of all their housing sector is mired in deep, deep do-do because of the sub-prime mortgaging fiasco.

These are the things that Barry O is blamed for, because it is HARD when the unemployment rate is 10% to see that the stimulus saved you from an unemployment rate of 20%.

Little pause to remember that, once Mr Dr Vince had guided them into it, Hard Labour's economic stimulus WAS right… AT THE TIME. Big question is whether that time has PASSED.

For Americaland, the engine of the economy STILL isn't firing properly – and that's a big risk for ALL of us. So we better hope that Barry O and the Congress can get their acts together!
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Day 3204: Nobel Peace Prize – Charlotte Gore Robbed Again!

Friday:


Because, I mean Barry O is alright, but he’s not in Scary Charlotte’s league*, is he.

PS

*That’s probably the League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons, a spiffing comic and wacky movie with CGI** effects.

PPS

**That’s CGI as in “Charlotte Gore Isnotatory”. Obviously.


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Day 3160: Senator Kennedy and the Giant Vampire Foxbats

Wednesday:


The The Today Programme Studio:

6.45am This morning's headline: Senator Edward Kennedy has died

6.46am And now the news that the Giant Vampire Foxbat has taken a step closer to extinction…

Sometimes I think that the The Today Programme editors do these juxtapositions just to see if Mr Evan can cope…

Day 3157: C.I.A: Compassion In America

Monday:


"This isn't about JUSTICE; it's about COMPASSION. It's not SUPPOSED to make SENSE."*


Let's be clear about one thing: regardless of any doubts about whether he actually did it or not, the release of the man convicted of exploding flight Pan-Am 103 was nothing to do with JUSTICE.

"Justice" seems to mean "people getting what they deserve". You don't need to believe in Mr God to recognise that in THIS world that's QUITE DIFFICULT to achieve.

No one, for example, "deserves" to be exploded. But there's NO WAY of setting it right again; you cannot ever have true "justice".

People in Americaland think that the Pan-Am bomber Mr Addledbastard al Megrahi, ought to have died in his prison cell. Or perhaps Americans are now SO convinced of the EVIL of the NHS that they consider it an intolerable MERCY to spare a person dying of cancer from British healthcare.

Whatever. President Barry O, Secretary of State Hillary-Billary, FBI Director Robert Mueller-Lite have all protested that letting him go was a VERY BAD THING to do.

And they are all WRONG.

They are wrong for TWO reasons: first, because what they want is VENGEANCE not JUSTICE. "You hurt us so we are going to hurt you, and hurt you WORSE". Americaland thinks of itself as the New Roman Empire (just look at all the marble they used building their Capital, or even their Capitol) and Rome was BUILT on vengeance (and marble), vengeance beyond all reason (and quite a lot of marble). If a citizen of Rome was harmed, the Roman legions turned up and OBLITERATED YOUR COUNTRY. A LOT of people think like that, and not just Americans – it's hard not to, it seems to be wired into you monkey people at an evolutionary level – but Americaland has the power to DO IT, and they DO.


And the second reason is because if there WAS any "justice" then Americaland (and I'm aware the Great Britain is not much better) would not hog a quarter of the World's resources nor cause a quarter of the World's pollution.

And then we end up with MORE revelations about the CIA practicing torture on people. Gee, the CIA turned out to be EVIL – who would have thought? But does ANYONE expect "justice" properly to be served? Are we going to see Mr Darth Cheney or Mr Donald Rums-failed even standing TRIAL let alone facing punishment for what they made happen? Is anyone going to send a cruise missile down one of THEIR chimneys? After all, that's the way America deals with torturers, isn't it?

It is the INjustice of Americaland's vast inherited wealth, and the obsessive aggression that they use to defend it, and the double standards by which they are seen judge themselves that breeds a World full of people who WANT to explode aeroplanes!



So what IS this thing called "justice"? It's sort of like "fairness" and it's sort of like "moral rightness" (whatever THAT means).

What sort of things should it be MADE of?

Restitution – giving people back what they have had taken away?

Retribution – punishing people for breaking the law whether because you believe doing badness means they deserve to receive badness or, more practically, as a disincentive against doing it again?

Rehabilitation – to make it so that bad people become good people?

(And this is all getting like 80's Dr Woo Dalek stories – you know: "Remembrance of the Revelation of the Resurrection of the Renaissance of the Retaliation of the Religion of the Daleks".)

But as I say, you cannot give someone their life BACK, so how can there be proper restitution?

The Iranians might say – MIGHT say – that the Americans blew one airliner out of the sky and had one blown out of the sky in return. An eye for an eye; an aeroplane for an aeroplane? Is THAT "justice"? Or is that TWO WRONGS making something very NOT RIGHT indeed?

So if you cannot make restitution, what about retribution?

Well, for retribution to be "just" then it has to be proportionate: the old mantra (or Gilbert & Sullivan song) "let the punishment fit the crime". But again, when a crime is SO awful, how can one person be expected to BEAR any punishment that would be "proportionate"?

So when the former Monkey-in-Chief's Ambassador of Evil, Mr Roger Bolt-thru-neck, whinges that Mr al Megrahi "only served two weeks for each person who died" you have to point out the bloody-minded STUPIDITY of his remark: what does he want? Mr al Megrahi to serve a LIFETIME for each person who died? How are you going to do THAT, then? Even if you want to KILL him, what GOOD will it do? Do you want to execute him two-hundred-and-seventy times? Will that bring a single person back?

So much for retribution, how about rehabilitation then?

Well, Mr al Megrahi is hardly likely to do it again, is he? But that's not really the point. Surely, the REAL rehabilitation is that of LIBYA. And doesn't that seem to have WORKED?

By accepting compensation, or two-point-seven billion dollars worth of "blood money", paid to the families of the victims, America and Britain accepted that we and Libya could move on. Compensation isn't about putting a crude value on someone's life; it's about drawing a line under a vendetta, ending the feud, preventing FUTURE violence and grief.

Listen to the WISE WORDS of Mr Stephen of the Glenn, who seems to have come TERRIFYINGLY close to being EXPLODED himself on several occasions!

"A nation that shows compassion finds it easier to look past the past; one that holds grudges finds it harder to let it go."

Americaland, in spite of having so little history – or perhaps BECAUSE they have so little history – just can't let it go.


So, where in this scheme of "justice" should COMPASSION fit in? Well, the answer is nowhere! SERIOUSLY, theries of justice SAY that justice has to trump compassion. Because "compassion" is giving someone something that they DON'T deserve. It is sympathy for a person in pain REGARDLESS of how deserving they are.

Compassion is about US being better people, not about the goodness or wickedness of the person on the receiving end.

Is it regrettable that people take advantage of that kindness to stage some kind of Hero's Welcome? Yes, of course it is – but that makes THEM bad people, not us. It means that the people who agreed to keep things LOW KEY are the ones who broke their promises, not the people who only did a good thing.

Is it regrettable that people sometimes people DO make behind-the-scenes deals for trade or whatever in exchange for releasing a prisoner? (Not that that DID happen here; not that that DID happen to let President Billary-Hillary rescue those journalists from North Korea; not that that DID happen to get that American nutter who swam out to Aung San Suu Kyi's house out of Burma.) Yes, because it's sordid and it undermines our trust in the people we elect to make these decisions on compassionate grounds.



Justice is usually portrayed as a LADY with a sword to indicate the FORCE of the LAW, a set of scales to indicate WEIGHING up the EVIDENCE and a blindfold to indicate IMPARTIALITY. What we usually end up with is an overburdened blind lady waving a large letter-opener about. As a METAPHOR for a justice system that seems to flail about inflicting stabbing pains on people at random, that's actually depressingly accurate.

But if we can't HAVE justice, then we have to make a choice between vengeance and compassion.

And we should choose compassion.




*Yes, I am misquoting Uncle Enyos from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but the point still stands.



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Day 2988: For the Purposes of this Interview, I shall be a Donkey - Millennium "Donkey" Meets Howard Dean

Saturday:


You cannot have helped but notice that the Democrats of America have recently won a significant victory. The Internet plaid a big, big role in this victory, with Barry O drawing in 13 million supporters and over five-hundred million dollars through his website.

So we were very privileged to ask the advice of the man who very much led the way with his own campaign grass-roots campaign in 2003 and as chair of the Democratic National Committee: Mr Governor Howard Dean.

Howard Dean, pictured here with Lib Dem Bloggers and a "Donkey". Yes, I'm a Donkey.

I was joined for the interview by Ms Helen and Ms Alix, along with Daddies Alex and Richard.

To warm up, I welcomed Mr Howard to the Liberal Conference and asked what the word "Liberal" meant to him.

Ms Helen asked about the Internet and campaigning. Describing the Internet as "the most democracy oriented invention since Gutenberg", Mr Howard was quite modest, and when he talked about how the Internet has changed people's engagement with politics in America, he said that it was the people writing the blogs and the websites that had done the changing – he and President Obama were just the ones who were quick to recognise that change and to adapt to it.

He spoke of the Internet as the tool that is EMPOWERING a new generation: "Where we had a million people march on Washington, you can send a million e-mails to congress (and crash their mail-server!)" he said. At the same time it opens up new ways to COMMUNITY politics, forming new links between local people and groups.

But more than that, the Net is also the best possible way to reach out to people in authoritarian regimes, in places like China or Iran, and bring them a fresh take on democracy.

Should we be talking to activists or to undecided voters, Ms Helen wanted to know.

"Neither," said Mr Howard, "You need to be CREATING activists."

Many more young people are travelling and serving their country in diverse ways today but what they don't do is connect that to POLITICS. Politics MATTERS, said Mr Howard, and not just to old Fuddy-duddies. It is the role of bloggers – that's ME and YOU! – to get our generation engaged and involved in politics.



Daddy Alex asked his "how are you different in one line" question. In an interesting reply-that-wasn't-entirely-a-reply, Mr Howard put forward the idea that the message relates more to the CAMPAIGN rather than the PARTY: for instance "change" was their message this time, and very successfully.

But far more important than MESSAGE was making a CONNECTION to the voters. It's important to go knocking on doors, but it's even more important to go back again and again. An activist knocking on a hundred doors in a weekend is only so good unless they are going to go back the weekend after and the weekend after that and knock on all those doors AGAIN.

That is how you build up the relationship. It doesn't have to be the candidate in person, so long as it is the same face popping up so that the voters can see a relationship, and see how that leads to RESULTS.



Ms Alix talked to Mr Howard about the Fifty-State Strategy. To her, that seemed the exact opposite of the way Liberal Democrat targeting seems to work.

Mr Howard agreed that too much targeting could be a MISTAKE. You risk writing off whole sections of the nation or, as he put it in the most CRUCIAL remark:

"You cannot be a national party if you don't campaign everywhere in the nation. You'll never get someone's vote if you don't ask."

It doesn't mean devoting EQUAL resources, but it does mean devoting SOME resources to places where you are not (yet!) going to win. For what might be a relatively small investment you can have regional co-ordinators to link up activists and give people a "go to" place to find Liberal Democrats.

Speaking from the American perspective, he said how important it was that through President Obama's campaign people had become able to stand up and say "actually, I'm a Democrat" throughout all of America. We Liberal Democrats need to achieve the same thing here, so that peole can stand up and say "I'm a Liberal Democrat" and their friends will think, well actually it's okay to be a Liberal, and maybe the Liberals AREN'T all bad/irrelevant/gone the way of the dodo.


It was a real pleasure to meet the man who could have been the man who could have been the President. And he gave us a lot to think about.

And now we must dash away to hear him speak in the main hall!

PS:

We DID try to tempt him into telling us what he thought about the OTHER political parties in Great Britain. But he was very DIPLOMATIC.


.

Day 2965: Lincoln Memorial - a late Frost/Nixon

Thursday:


You've probably already missed this, as my Daddies and I caught the last screening at our local flicks, but if you get the chance, see FROST/NIXON.

Why's it not called NIXON/FROST?

Maybe it's time, maybe it's his being dead, maybe it's the utter utter bad-word-ness of the Monkey-in-Chief, but at the end of the film, the power of this drama is that it allows you to feel sympathy for this man who broke the idea of America.

We can at least say this: he did wrong, but he did admit it.

(And yes, that's the irony-meter is pinging at the man who played Frost being the man who played Lord Blairimort the unrepentant.)

PS:

Happy Darwin Day!

Day 2866: Now EVERYONE wants to be Barry O's best friend

Wednesday:


It's a bit EMBARRASSING, really, when the British Prime Monster and the Conservatory Leader are SQUABBLING over who is more like the President Elect.

"Doesn't this show that someone with no experience would be best," asked Mr Balloon.

"Is it because I is black?" replied Mr Frown.

The real answer is that NO ONE in Great Britain, no, not even the Liberal Democrats for once, can be said to have that same combination of charisma, oratory, smarts and let's face it luck that has made the world so OVERJOYED to see the election of this man in this time.



What we CAN do is LEARN from his example.

Being the SON of JOR-EL clearly helps, but on its own it is not enough. Where the Dumbocrats REALLY triumphed this year was in their ORGANISATION, using the Internet and local community networks to wire their way into the heartlands of America.


Senator Oven Chip gave a really good speech, maybe his BEST speech of the campaign, as his concession.



His tribute to the man who bested him was warm and generous, and it was only a shame that he had to shush the WINGNUTS in his audience who wanted to boo their President-elect (the sort of behaviour they would call TREASON if someone had done the same to the Monkey-in-Chief).

In a whole lot of ways this just summed up the problem with Senator Oven-Chip's run for the White House. He was conflicted between the sort of person he wanted to be – the honourable, middle-of-the-road (for Americaland), elder statesperson – and the sort of person that the Party wanted him to be – the robo-calling, traitor-baiting, smearing, lying fruitloop. That's not to say that he doesn't bear responsibility: it was his AMBITION to win that led him to make a deal with the DEVIL… or rather the person that the DEVIL looks at and says "ooh, he's a bit eeeeeevil", Mr Karl Rove.

Plus picking the fluffy-animal-murderer was obviously UNFORGIVABLE.

And of course, the Replutocrats chose the superannuated senator as their candidate precisely because he was that middle-of-the-road maverick that he wanted to be. NOT because they thought he would win that way, but because they KNEW they would lose this year and wanted to blame it on a RHINO. (That stands for "Replutocrat If we Hold Our Noses", I think!)

The religious purging of the Replutocrats has already begun, and the campaign for Pain in 2012 is symptomatic of the fact that they intend to get madder before they get better.

Which, on the other fluffy foot, is good news for Barry-in-Chief's second term.

Day 2865: African American President

Tuesday:


Hooray! Good luck! Now, get it right, Barry O!

Day 2837: Senator Oven-Chip, if you want to know the moment you lost the Presidency… it was "that one"

Tuesday:




With the Replutocrats tanking in the polls, things are starting to get DIRTY in the campaign to be President of Americaland.

While, Ms Sarah Pain steps up her efforts to replace the Monkey-in-Chief as VICE-President (making her a sort of Monkey-in-Lipstick, you might say), not to mention whipping up a potential race riot by calling Barry O all SORTS of names (and no doubt she'd say "he smells" too), the Superannuated Senator supposedly at the top of the ticket has been chuckling and wheezing and calling everyone "miii frynds" but cannot even bring himself to use his opponent's NAME.


In the OLD days, you could rely upon the pundits and spin doctors to announce victory regardless of the actual candidates' performance. Faux News would give a "fair and balanced" victory to the Replutocrats and keep repeating it through the news cycle until everyone believes that it could have happened that way.

Of course that is HARDER to do when someone conducts a snap poll that asks actual VOTERS what they thought…

…and they only go and decide almost 2:1 in Barry O's favour.

But watching the actual debate on the television, it is difficult to understand how even the most die hard with a tea-towel Replutocrat could have scored it as a win for their man.

Presumably they get special lessons from the "Sarah-cuda" in how to ignore FACTS by sticking your fluffy feet in your ears and singing La La La.

It is TRUE that at times Barry O comes across as a bit "the Professor". But Senator Oven-Chip spent almost the entire debate acting like the CREEPY CARETAKER out of Scooby Doo. Presumably Sarah Pain will pull off the FRIGHT MASK at the end and reveal that it was HIM all along… and he would have got away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling forty-seven year-old kid!

Daddy Alex noticed that the only time when he started to unbend was on the foreign-policy question about Pakistan. It is clear that this is the subject he is actually knowledgeable about and therefore comfortable with. Which is fine, but the President has got to deal with the UNCOMFORTABLE stuff as well. That's pretty much the job description. Buck; here; stopping; that sort of thing. Senator Oven-Chip's inability to CARE ABOUT, let alone UNDERSTAND, the issues that are frightening the bejeezus out of ordinary Americans is what disqualifies him from doing the job.

Take, for example, the Senator's new policy, seemingly plucked out of his ar the air right there in the studio, to buy up everyone's mortgage and renegotiate them at the new (lower) value of the homes.

Now, this would go waaaaay beyond GENEROUS to homeowners, by having the taxpayer take the immediate hit of all that fall in property prices. This is unlike any other plan that has been suggested. Taking on the debts and accepting that some, many even, will fall bad but still recovering SOME money from others is one thing… but this plan is just taking a big pile of money and burning it. It is almost certain that property prices will recover given time, so it would appear that the Senator is suggesting giving a free capital gain to everyone with negative equity.

If he understood the subject, then he would realise at once that this is either a colossal tossing of dollars into the money pit, or a total fabrication designed to make populist capital from the dispossessed. Either way, it looks both stupid and desperate at the same time.

Likewise with the mud-slinging. Rather than turning things around, he and his running mate make it LOOK like they know they've lost and they've got nothing left.

Just seeing the moment where Barry O responds to Senator Oven-Chip's "talk softly and carry a big stick" jibe. "This is the man who said 'Bomb Bomb Iran'," Barry reminds us. And in the background, Senator Oven-Chip looks ashamed. Worse than that, he looks worn-out and defeated. In the worst possible way, he looks old.

Of course, to a certain extent this is WHY the Replutocrats picked him. They always EXPECTED that their guy was going to have to "take one for the party"; that's why they selected a muggins who wasn't really "one of them". They picked the "maverick" (read: "not wingnut ENOUGH!") so that they can claim his failure is because of his LACK of purity, not because of their total and utter bonkers-in-the-nut-dom.

It's possible that they didn't calculate just how many of them he might take down with him, though!

Day 2830: Did the Turkeys Just Vote for Christmas? Or will the Dead Cat-Monster Keep Bouncing?

Tuesday:


It was quite a SHARP INTAKE of BREATH moment when the American Congress voted to reject the multi-billion dollar "Bankers' Unaccountable Rescue Plan" (or BURP) put to them by the Monkey-in-Chief and Secretary Hank "trust me I'm a banker" Paulson.

Now, the Senators of Americaland have accepted the Monkey-in-Chief's revised BURP (now with added slap-on-the-wrist and time-on-the-naughty step).

But will the Congressmen choose to follow their lead or are they going to remain focused on hanging onto their slender majorities the righteous anger of their constituents at a plan that lets the bankers get away with ruining the economy?

To an extent they've got to, because a failed bailout is actually worse than no bailout at all.

You see, the PROBLEM with proposing a plan like the Monkey's BURP is this: once you've SAID it, the greedy fat-cat-monsters of the Stock Exchange and Wall Street start to EXPECT it as a RIGHT.

So think about this before you float the notion that you might add an extra digit to the national debt to buy up all the TOXIC WASTE that they've been pretending is lovely yummy goodness:

BEFORE you mention it, they will be grumbling and griping and worrying. And maybe one or two are actually in danger of failing.

But AFTER you make the suggestion… and then threaten to take it away again, even though they never had it, they throw a tsunami-class tantrum, fling their toys out of the pram – and more importantly, fling their shares out of the window – and before you know it they've trolleyed the entire American economy.

And the Asian economy.

And the European economy (well… not so much, actually).


But here is a THOUGHT: just looking at London, rather than Americaland, in the last two or three years (2005, 2006, 2007), thousands (in fact reports say at least THREE thousands) of people working in the City got BONUSES of over a MILLION POUNDS.

This year, it turns out that they did NOT REALLY deserve them!

So, if they all gave the money back… that could be (3 x >3,000 x >£1,000,000 = ) nearly ten thousand-million pounds to help out the banks that they have caused to collapse.

You can see why people are QUITE CROSS with the City banking types. That may not be QUITE as much as the Monkey-in-Chief's three-hundred-and-eighty thousand-million pound bailout bonanza… in fact it's not even enough to buy the twenty-five thousand-million pound Busted and Bungling Building Society… but it's a sizeable step on the way!

And as you can imagine the same is true on Wall Street. Which is why the American Congresspersons are getting bombarded by e-mails from ordinary Joes and Jos saying "oi!"

(And when (millionaire) Mr Balloon makes silly statements saying "we're all in it together" that is why some people might think "well, mate, some of you are more it together than others".)


In a lot of ways it is the INJUSTICE that most sticks in your fluffy throat. After all, these losers were gambling with OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY.

That is why Mr Clogg is quite right to call for a guarantee for all savers that their deposits will be safe.

And that is why Mr Frown is – typically – rubbish for refusing to agree.

"I'll do anything to save the economy…" says Mr Frown "…but I won't do THAT!"

Does he think he's MEATLOAF?

Greater protection for savers is also one of the changes that were added to the BURP to make it more acceptable to Senators, along with a larger public stake in the banks that their money is used to rescue, and stricter regulations… along with some pork-barrelling stuff like tax cuts for small businesses.

House Dumbocrats would apparently also like to add some measures to protect people against losing their homes. Homelessness is terribly destructive of lives and families, and the whole community suffers when you turn potentially productive contributors into welfare claimants, so this is obviously a GOOD IDEA. The Replutocrats are against it such measures on principle.

Who knows what is going to happen?

When TWO-THIRDS of Replutocratic Congresspersons are willing, eager even, to vote against their own Monkey-in-Chief, when the contribution of the Replutocratic Candidate for the White House is thought to have made matters worse even by his own side, and with the markets reacting badly to pretty much EVERYTHING that Washington says, then ANYTHING might happen!

And frankly, it probably will!

Day 2824: The President Should Be Able to Think About More than One Thing at a Time

Wednesday:


In a DRAMATIC development in the election in Americaland, Senator Oven-Chip has announced that since he's dropped ten points in the polls he's taking his ball and going home. So nyer!


Does this indicate that Senator Oven-Chip is uncertain of his ability to WALK and CHEW GUM at the same time?

Or is he trying to distract attention from the discovery that his campaign manager was getting $15,000 a month from Freddie Big-Mac right up until the Monkey-in-Chief nationalised it, something that the Senator had specifically denied?

Or is it just another stunt like choosing "Caribou Barbie*" for Veep, in order to boost his numbers?



Last week, of course, the senator was saying that everything was fine and dandy with the American economy; this week he says that things are so bad they cannot carry on the election campaign (just like the way they DIDN'T suspend the election during the Great Depression or World War part Two… oh).

Either Mr Oven-Chip is having a bad case of the Sooty MOOD SWINGS… or he doesn't have the first clue what is going on.

Just to explain it for him: the banking system had a bit of a "dead cat-monster bounce" last week on the announcement that the Monkey-in-Chief was going to bail them out by signing over seven-hundred billion bananas to buy up all of their "mortgage back securities" (or BAD DEBTS). Or in plainer language, he was going to get them out of the mess they'd gotten into and the taxpayer was going to pick up the rather enormous tab.

This week, though, Congress realised that actually the Monkey-in-Chief needed them to agree to this, and – after looking at the complete lack of details in his "huge blank cheque to the people who wrecked the economy" plan – felt that they were empowered to say FU… Please Depart Off.

On hearing that they were NOT about to be instantly and massively rewarded for splattering the economy, the bankers plunged into panic and their shares once more plunged through the floor.

The head of the Federal Reserve then went to Congress to address the Representatives and told them to carefully consider all the alternatives and then darned well DO WHAT HE TOLD THEM TO.


Meanwhile, the Monkey-in-Chief himself went on American television to say to the people:

"Can ANYBODY fly a plane?!"


Anyway, news that there was a crisis in the housing market may have reached one of Senator Oven-Chip's eight or nine homes (he forgets how many) but he must have missed it.

Fortunately, he was handed a life-line from an unlikely source.

Senator Barry O telephoned the Oven-Chip camp to suggest that, under the current crisis circumstances, they should issue a BI-PARTISAN statement. The Oven-Chip team thought that this was a brilliant idea and then decided that they could go one better and issued a MONO-PARTISAN statement.

This is apparently Senator Oven-Chip's definition of "leadership".

Having rushed to deliver his pronouncement first, the Octogenarian Candidate was quickly wheeled off by his North Korean minders; at Barry O's later press conference, the Illinois Senator was happy to take questions from the Press.

One of these people was described as looking "Presidential"; one was described as looking "near to death".

You won't be surprised to learn that personally I agree with Barry O that the Presidential debate should go ahead. If these are the testing times, then these are when the public MOST need to hear from the two men who would lead them.

On the other fluffy foot, if Mr Oven-Chip REALLY doesn't feel up to it, then he can always ask his Vice Presidential nonimee to stand in for him. After all, that is what she's there for… isn't it?

* Sarah Pain: she's an ANTI-choice, PRO-abstinence/ignorance, Replutocratic CREATIONIST who is PROUD of hunting FLUFFY ANIMALS. What do you THINK I'm going to say about her?

PS:

Meanwhile, I appear to have received a SPAM e-mail…

Subject: Hank Paulson's 419 Letter

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship
with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Minister of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country
has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds
of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer,
it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my
replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you
may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation
movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the
funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds
in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under
surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a
reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the
funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund
account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to
wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your
commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I
will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be
used to protect funds.

Yours Faithfully, Minister of Treasury Paulson

Day 2801: Senator Oven Chip Reaps the Whirlwind

Monday:


Senator Oven Chip's big party this week had a near miss with Hurricane Gustave… but now an entirely more TABLOID kind of storm looks like washing out his week.

In fact, the Hurricane looked like being – in a sick and twisted sort of way – a WIN-WIN for the Replutocrats. On the one fluffy foot they get to AVOID Senator Oven Chip sharing a stage with the Monkey-in-Chief; on the other fluffy foot, they get their superannuated candidate to look all statesmanlike and non-partisan without him having to deliver a speech that gets compared to Barry O's Big Night Out.

Bad luck then that the man INFAMOUS for his SHORT FUSE decided that he only need to spend A COUPLE OF HOURS before making the most important decision of the campaign – namely who gets the BIG JOB should Mr Death should accidentally surprise the Senator coming out of the shower one morning.

I think that the comparison is OBVIOUS.

While Barry O was first the basis for the character of HEROIC Dumbocratic candidate Mr Matt Santos in the West Wing (and now the people who wrote Santos based on Obama are writing speeches for Obama based on Santos…)

Clearly the Replutocrats want some of this "TV Story Coming TRUE" magic, and have picked the OTHER White House drama, the one where the crinkly old candidate picks a Veep in heels to pretty up his campaign with the important independents intending that she should be ornamental and never near ANY levers, let alon levers of power, only to croak from an unexpected brain-storm leaving an inexperienced chief executive in the Oval Office.

Did no one TELL THEM that "Commander in Chief" was CANCELLED after just eighteen weeks?

Day 2761: Ich Bin Ein Obama

Wednesday:


Barry O meets Ms Angular Meercat… and two-hundred thousand of her closest personal friends.


Senator Oven Chip counterattacks by suggesting to the most celebrity-obsessed culture on the planet that Barry O is a bit like Britney.


Riiiiight, you really ARE from another Century, aren't you, Senator.

Day 2727: First Ladies Club

Thursday:


Mrs Barry O, Michelle Obama, appears on The View rebuilding her image after Replutocratic attacks.

While Mrs Senator Oven Chip, Cindy McCain, reveals her "grudge list".


NICE.


Barry O himself comes out against the Lobbyists (not taking public money; fewer lobbyists than Oven Chip)

While Senator Oven Chip is covered in Oil.


Oops, better not get him cross!

Day 2711: United States of Obamica

Tuesday:


So, at the end of an historic struggle in the Dumbocratic Primaries, Senator Barry O has finally secured enough delegates to win the nonimation to be President of Americaland, and Senator Hillary-Billary has concedeed that she will concede… conceivably.

This, as they say – especially if they happen to be Mr Sean in the trailer for the Avengers Movie – is merely the beginning.

Having beaten a lady, now Senator Barry has got to beat an old man*. Gosh, it is a good job he's not got to beat those smart kids from Mr John Barrowboy's quiz show too!


Everyone is saying what a BIG JOB Mr Barry has got to do now.

The Replutocrats are already calling for a string of Presidential Debates and Town Halls all over the country obviously with an eye to running him ragged.

Meanwhile, the Dumbocrats want him to reunite the Party, heal the wounds, redefine his message, open up the attack on the Replutocrats and presumably feed the five-thousand if he's not too busy.

And, if it's not too much trouble, name a VICE-PRESIDENTIAL running mate.

This is all a BIT harsh… give him a weekend off, why don't you!

Actually, picking the Vice-Presidential candidate is a USEFUL way to both heal the party AND send out new messages. So, who are the obvious choices?


#1: Senator Hillary-Billary herself.

A lot of people have focussed on the fact that as a New York Senator, Hillary-Billary doesn't bring a whole lot of STATES with her to the party. But this is slightly overlooking the way that she has campaigned this year, because what she brings is a CONSTITUENCY: in particular the white working class where the Replutocrats are going to campaign hard to paint Barry O as an "elitist". She also has a large and LOYAL following among women voters and, do not forget, nearly half of the Dumbocratic Party DID actually vote for her. Bringing her onboard will be the clearest sign that the Party is united against the Replutocrats. You've really GOT to keep her people on side, and offering her the non-job of the Veep might actually be the LEAST painful thing to promise her. After all, making her Secretary of State or Senate Majority Leader would be handing her real power, rather than the infamous BUCKET OF WARM SPIT.

On the other fluffy foot, she doesn't half come with some BAGGAGE. And the Baggage's name is Billary-Hillary.

#2: Mr John Edwards

The former Senator from South Carolina is other person very obviously GAGGING for the job. On the plus side, he's got a good record on the environment, was the first to run a Carbon-neutral Presidential Campaign, is strongly anti-poverty and pro-choice. And it's always good to have a Southerner on the ticket. To the bad, he is Jimmy Carter dialled up to 11 without the saintly disposition that being a one-term former president seems to have fostered. Besides, after all these months, does anyone even REMEMBER that he was a candidate back in January?


But why stop at the OBVIOUS candidates?

While the Replutocrats will be seeking to neutralise Barry's "Change we can Believe in" message, he – it is suggested – will need to counter the "experience" question. In 1999, Darth Cheney was tasked with picking someone to add intellectual fibre to the Monkey-in-Chief's candidacy. Frankly he could have picked Ms Jade Goody and she would still have contributed a greater awareness of international relations and diplomacy, but of course he infamously chose himself. Assuming Barry O's chief headhunter, merchant banker Mr James A Johnson, doesn't take THAT option, what are his choices?

Well, first there are the Foreign Policy Heavyweights:

#3: General Wesley Snipes [R: Clarke]

As a staunch Hillary-Billary supporter, he could help unite the party. But he's as boring as all heck. Also, in prison for tax evasion [R: er, no, that's the REAL Wesley Snipes].

#4: Senator Joseph Bidet from Delaware

Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, as about as much gravitas as you can get in American politics without actually being MOSES. Ever so SLIGHTLY to his detriment, his OWN campaign for the 2008 nonimation was holed below the waterline when he uttered a GAFFE… about Barry O.

#5: Mr Uncle Sam Nunn

The former senator and Armed Services Committee chairman from Georgia has more recently concentrated on working to try and reduce nuclear and chemical proliferation. Unfortunately he also ruled himself out of running as ANYONE'S vice.


But remember that Barry O's early SUCCESSES came when he was moving to the CENTRE, while Hillary-Billary was tacking to the base and attacking the incumbent Monkey-in-Chief.

The BI-PARTISAN candidates, then, would be:

#6: Mr Michael Bloomberg, billionaire Mayor of New York, who recently met our very own BoJo the Clown and said: "I'll have fries with that."

#7: Mr Charles "Chuck" Hagel, the Replutocratic Senator from Nebraska with strong anti-war stance. It would certainly stick one on nose for the Replutocrats to woo away a close friend of the Senator from Arizona.

But seriously, does anyone believe that this is going to happen?


Of course there's quite a lot of Washington INSIDERS and in particular SENATORS on that list so far. For some reason, Senators don't tend to do well in national elections, particularly when the REPLUTOCRATS are playing the ELITISM card (so every time).

You might be better off looking at the list of State Governors. Currently 28 out of 50 States have Dumbocrats in charge, (but that doesn't rule out FORMER Governors too).

The CONVENTIONAL WISDOM is that being a Governor, particularly a Governor from the South – like President Billary-Hillary was – can help to swing swing States. And not just their own, but across a whole region.

Key figures would include:

#8: Mr Ed Rendell, Governor of Pennsylvania
#9: Mr Ted Strickland, Governor of Ohio

These Clinton-gang supporting governors helped keep Hillary-Billary in the race when Barry O failed to win their States, and it is considered crucial that he take back in particular the so-called Rust Belt where she played to packed houses.

On the other fluffy foot, he might choose to reward…

#10: Mr Tim Kring [R: Kaine], Governor of Virginia and creator of TV superhero story Heroes [R: again, er, no].

He was one of Mr Barry's earliest backers and could help capitalize on that state's Dumbocratic swing

Finally, coming back to the idea of CONSTITUENCIES being more important than GEOGRAPHY in this election, some people are angling to re-connect to the Hillary-Billary supporters by having a WOMAN on the ticket, and the top tip there is:

#11: Ms Kathleen Sebelius, Governor of Kansas

Thought to be a RISING STAR (oops, that's jinxed her!) with a good record of successfully negotiating a tricky, often-Repultocratic state but has yet to make a national impact. Think of her as Barry O four years ago.

The OTHER crucial element of the Clinton-Coalition was the Hispanic vote, who are often said to be more loyal and more likely to turn out than other sections of the community. So rounding out our dozen we have:

#12: Governor Bill Richardson, New Mexico

Was a low key candidate himself but dropped out early before the long, long walk to the National Convention in Denver. May be a bit of a DARK HORSE candidate… or may just have no support.


Of course, the chances are that Barry O will pick NONE of these, and will surprise everyone with an outsider. Which the media will then greet as his first campaign blunder (since the last one).

And then he’s only got to be the Replutocrat nonimee. Whoever THAT is!



*Senator Oven-Chip… anyone remember him? Apparently he's been the Replutocratic nonimee for some months now and has celebrated this by, er, having a light nap.

Mr God bless Amnesia