Day 2879: Tory Policy on Cuts: Cut the Policy!

Tuesday:


First Mr Balloon warns of the Labour's Tax Bombshell… catchy, now where've I heard THAT before? …and then he ditches another promise.

Sigh. It's not as though they have THAT many policies TO abandon!


Hopefully that's the end of all that "the cupboard is bare" nonsense, now that Mr Balloon has discovered the ACTUAL cupboard stuffed full of juicy spending commitments.

But he's opened himself up to death-by-salami-tactics again; now that Conservatory Cuts are back on, Mr Frown will be doing the REVERSE-PRIME-MONSTER'S-QUESTIONS again with tricky one like:

"So, uhh, are you going to be cutting the NHS, then?"

"Absolutely not; no way, Jose."

"Is that an, uhhh, guarantee, you just gave there?"

"Umm, look,"

"Just answer the question."

"Crikey!"

"So, uhh, is it the army, then? Slashing the defence budget, depriving our boys of much needed protection?"

"Flip! This is harder than it looks!"

It's not that there ISN'T room for cutting SOME of the Government's bloated spending on testing and prying and collecting every private bit of data we have and the LOSING every private bit of data we have and then INVESTIGATING what happened to the data and which civil servant to sack for leaving it on the 18:42 to Woking…

Mr Frown's Government is an enormous machine for wasting money.

But having just spent the whole year telling us that absolutely you could TRUST a Conservatory Government NOT to cut spending, it turns out that a whiff of a crisis and actually, sorry, you COULDN'T trust them and they WOULD cut spending.

And apparently they won’t tell us what they would do instead. So, helpful.


And when he talks about borrowing now meaning tax rises in the future he's obviously forgotten (or worse, NEVER UNDERSTOOD) his own MANTRA about "sharing the proceeds of growth".

Borrowing NOW can be repaid out of FUTURE GROWTH in revenues… or at least it CAN so long as you get the economy GROWING again and don't kill it STONE DEAD like the Conservatories did in the Eighties by, er, cutting spending when a recession hit.

The worst of it is, this ditching of basically their ONLY economic policy reveals that, at a time when things are pretty TOUGH and Great Britain NEEDS people to be putting their best ideas forward, Mr Balloon hasn't got any ideas at all.

As Mr Clogg says: "the Conservatories have NO solutions to today's problems."


Previously, I considered Chairman Humph pondering the question of Mr Frown's economic future. But today it is clearly Mr Balloon who is saying "I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue!"

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