Day 2688: Murder by Memoir

Sunday:


I am beginning to think that Mr Frown's problem is a simple one: after ten years of spending his every waking moment devoted to undermining the Prime Monster, he has simply FORGOTTEN to stop doing it!

Let's look at a first draft of Mr Frown's MEMOIRS…

5am: Morning: wake up; phone papers with leak against Prime Monster.

5.01am: Shower: remember that I AM Prime Monster. Kick self.

5.15am: Breakfast: phone Balls; instruct him on daily briefing against Prime Monster.

5.16am: Read papers: full of poisonous briefings against Prime Monster. Reminded that this is me. Bash head on breakfast table. Get face full of Coco-Pops for my trouble.


Mind you, it's not been a good weekend for memoirs if you're Mr Frown, what with Mr Lord Cashpoint's memoirs, Mr Two-Jags' memoirs, and Lady Cherie-on-the-top Macbeth Blairimort's memoirs all coming out in a Sunday Newspaper near you.

The consensus of these TITANS of the Blairimort Era is… that they would all like to cash in quick by doing the dirty on Gordon.

Er, I'm sorry, that should read …that Mr Frown was a vain and greedy man, with the ambition but not the talent to be Prime Monster, who was a shouty BULLY to poor innocent Lord Blairimort, and probably told FIBS about not knowing anything about Cash for Coronets. Which Lord Cashpoint had nothing to do with, by the way.

(The news reporting was probably conflating many years of hard work, but they did seem to suggest that Mr Two-Jabs was organising meetings of reconciliation between Mr Frown and Lord Blairimort by telling Lord Blairimort that he should sack Mr Frown and telling Mr Frown that he should challenge Lord Blairimort from the back benches. Or "mixing it" as you might put it.)

And then overnight, Mr Frank "Potter's" Field weighed in with the accusation that Mr Frown is an UNHAPPY MAN who will probably not lead the Labour into the next General Election defeat.

(A complete contrast to Mr Millipede who always makes it COMPLETELY clear that Mr Frown will lead the Labour to the next election. Right up to the moment that the polls close.)

Still, these are self-serving one-sided opinionated publications. I'm sure there's every chance that they've been sexed up published in full compliance with the known intelligence. So I do not think that Mr Frown should take ANY NOTICE of these! He can rely on the full support from the public…

…who, er, also want him gone.