...a blog by Richard Flowers

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Day 1924: David Lloyd George


Last night on the TELLY, my Daddies came across a thing on BBC4 about Mr LLOYD GEORGE who was PRIME MINISTER during World War Part One and for a bit afterwards. He is not to be confused with Mr HAROLD LLOYD even though he too appears in black and white films and has a funny walk. Also, it was the other one who had the moustache.

This programme was a personal essay for television by the newsreader Mr Huw Edwards, a self-confessed fan of Mr Lloyd George. This meant that it concentrated a lot on the GOOD bits and tended to forget about the BAD bits, or at least to skip over them and then afterwards refer back and say, like, "well, obviously some people think he STABBED Squiffy Asquith IN THE BACK but Asquith had had it anyway. It was a MERCY KILLING!"

(Fortunately, Daddy Alex was too busy with his new DALEK to have a total conniption.)

Nevertheless, it was quite a GOOD thing. It is not very often that you hear a newsperson being NICE about a politician. (Even one who has been dead for sixty years!) Normally Mr HUMPY or Mr PAXO (the ROOSTER BOOSTER) only want to make politicians look rotten. It is quite encouraging to have Mr Huw say that they he thought someone was GOOD!

He thought that it was a SHAME that most people have forgotten Mr Lloyd George's contribution to the nation – particularly when compared to the LAUDED memory of Sir WINNIE the CHURCHILL (Greatest Britain of All Time TM).

Mr Huw spoke of how Mr Lloyd George transformed the nation's approach to old age, infirmity and unemployment. He overturned the VICTORIAN attitude of self-reliance and introduced the idea that the STATE could, indeed should intervene with it greater powers to support people when they were laid low. With his PEOPLE’S BUDGET of 1909 and later with the NATIONAL INSURANCE ACT of 1911 Mr Lloyd George very much laid the foundations of the WELFARE STATE.

Because of this Mr Lloyd George was INCREDIBLY popular with the people, in much the same way that Mr Blair ISN'T. So much so that when he took over as Prime Minister in the bad bit of World War Part One everyone was actually cheered up and this may have helped to turn the tide of the war. Or at least helped plucky Britain hang on until Kaiser Wilhelm sank enough of their ships that America noticed there was a major war going on in Europe.

Mr Lloyd George's other achievements include Mr Blair's VERY FAVOURITEST piece of legislation (not written by himself and/or his master Darth Cheney) namely THE PARLIAMENT ACT of 1911 which means that my chums in the House of Lords club cannot block legislation passed by the House of Commons only revise it and delay it for up to a year (LESS if Mr Balloon CAVES IN as usual!).

And also the REPRESENTATION OF THE PEOPLE ACT of 1918 which let POOR people vote and even LADIES (although not if they were under thirty or without property!). This was a BIG step towards Britain becoming a proper democracy. One day, you will get there if you PERSEVERE!

Mr Huw also told us that Mr Lloyd George was slightly strange in that he had TWO wives (at the same time): one to take away with him and one to keep at home for BEST. However, I have TWO DADDIES and frankly how people maximise their WORK/LIFE balance is no business of mine so long as no one gets hurt!

Looking to the bad side for a bit, Mr Huw then said that one of Mr Lloyd George's biggest mistakes was going to see ADOLF HITLER in 1936. Well, to BE FAIR, it was 1936 and not everybody had realised Mr Hitler was an EVIL NUTTER by that point. The Daily Mail took another FIVE years to work it out – and we were at WAR for two of those!

People say that Mr Lloyd George's other biggest mistake was to flog off loads of peerages to people who gave him a big pile of dosh, a bit like Mr Balloon's new peers, apparently. However, you have to REMEMBER that in the first place he had total contempt for the House of Lords and thought of this as people paying him to let them sit in a big red leather prison for VANITY and in the second place by that point he HAD been sitting with a bunch of CONSERVATORIES for quite a long time and so was probably getting very CONFUSED.

It all came to an end in 1922 when the Conservatories decided that they had had enough of Mr Lloyd George and BETRAYED him. This is why the Conservatories were run by the 1922 committee and it was the beginning of the MODERN CONSERVATORY PARTY – which ironically also ENDED in BETRAYAL in 1990.

[Incidentally, since the Conservatory Party is now really OVER, this is why Mr Balloon has been looking for a NEW NAME for his gang. The current "hot picks" are either "BLUE LABOUR" or "OPUS DAVE".]

In the end, Mr Huw hoped everyone would remember the good things as these were really more important than a few bad things that didn't have much effect.

The last word should go to MR FROWN who hopes very much to EMULATE Mr Lloyd George by being a MUCH RESPECTED Chancellor who KNIFES his doddering Prime Minister in the back in order to succeed him resulting in his party TEARING itself to pieces and LOSING POWER for a hundred years.



Richard Gadsden said...

Your penultimate paragraph had me laughing and cheering.

PS, When MR Balloon wants to run the country, aren't you tempted to say "Sorry Dave, I can't do that"?

Millennium Dome said...

Thank you Mr Gladstone; I had some help from Daddy Alex with the sharp scissors for that bit.


I am not sure, but it seems a bit unlikely that the Conservatories run on a HAL 9000.

Perhaps it is an EGO 9000?