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...a blog by Richard Flowers
Showing posts with label Leadership. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Leadership. Show all posts

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Day 5281: Tim Farron or Norman Lamb? We Need BOTH!

Wednesday:

Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice

I was lucky enough to attend the Liberal Democrat leadership hustings in London, and to meet both candidates.

Going in I was leaning more for Farron, and the Tim Lord did indeed play a blinder: full of that old-time Liberal religion. And his last word – "it's my job to get Norman back into Government" – was the best line of the night. But Norman was consistently impressive throughout as the one who put thought into his answers. He made it very much harder to choose. And that's got to be some kind of victory for the Norman Conquest.



Illustrative was the question: "What would you vote against the Party Line on?" (one of Alex's favourites). They both didn't answer the question but in different ways.

Tim's answer was to point to his rebellious record in the last Parliament, voting against the whip on Tuition Fees and Secret Courts. Those are his radical credentials, right there, do what's right not what's on the ticket. That's not really voting against the Party line, though. Norman, answering that question second, chose that opportunity to defend his own record as being the "good boy" and voting for those things on the grounds that practical Liberalism means doing more good by staying in and winning the fights you can win, rather than letting "best" be the enemy of "good".

So in some ways – from a certain point of view – Tim was being the more careful candidate here, embracing the Party, touching us in our warm happy place, while Norman was willing to be a bit more dangerous.

If we were still a credible force in the House of Commons, whether in Coalition or at least in contention to be in Coalition, there would be a strong case for a candidate who has shown just the sort of "winning the best deal" by "tough decisions" talent that Norman has. But we've been massacred. To his credit, Norman clearly recognises this, and that continuity – being the "establishment" candidate – are a weakness in this context, and he's been highly active in generating radical policy ideas to demonstrate that there is so much more to him than that.

When questioned on policies, both candidates were – unsurprisingly – saying the same things: we need to make tackling the housing crisis our priority; we should be first in line to defend the Human Rights Act; we should celebrate immigration not condemn immigrants; renewables not fracking. But although Tim was saying we should be the Party saying the difficult, "spiky" things, Norman was the one coming out with the "out there" ideas, in particular taking the fight to the Home Office (our natural enemies!), on drugs and on cutting the numbers in our (vastly overcrowded) prisons.

If I might paraphrase "Yes, Prime Minister" episode "The Ministerial Broadcast", it's pretty clear that Tim would be the one sat in the oak-panelled room with the leather-bound books on the shelves and the calming tones of Brahms playing to reassure you; while Norman would be all modernist furniture and Stravinsky to distract from the Continuity Clegg label.


With only eight MPs… and one of those the ex-leader, the Reverend Nick, who the public no doubt expect to step into quiet semi-retirement (or to put it another way, they would say they've seen the back of him)… and another, Alistair, the Laird Carmichael, shall we say, hors de combat… with only six MPs… I'll come in again…

At least one candidate (it was Tim) has made it clear that we will have to pick our campaigns.

I would suggest we have to cover the following:

1. Personal freedoms and Civil liberties
2. Health, Social Care and the dreaded "Wellbeing" (so including housing)
3. Opportunity and Education
4. The Economy

In the short term, it almost doesn't matter who wins.

Norman has already made himself a champion of personal rights with support for an Assisted Dying Bill, and his excellent policy announcements, in particular on the failed war on drugs and on our prisons. And (for all those "Yes, Prime Minister" reasons) the fact that he looks the more establishment character makes him just the man to be taken seriously when attacking the Home Office from the ANTI-authoritarian flank (something Labour hasn't done for twenty years).

Tim clearly knows his Beverage (and I don't mean TEA), and he's got the background (voting against Tuition fees gives him the opening to be listened to on the subject, possibly the only Lib Dem who can do that), and the talent of a natural preacher to condemn the Tories as "immoral" (which he did several times on the night): clearly he's the man to lead on housing and education.

(Obviously we should be defending our NHS too, but there's no way to make that an issue identified with us and not Hard Labour – however unjustified, they've just spent too much political capital in buying that as "their" turf. What we could and should do, in fact, is address ourselves to the "wall of bureaucracy" that often means the NHS works for itself rather than patients – of which Mid Staffs was only the most extreme example.)

We cannot NOT talk about the economy (stupid), and I'd ask Tom Brake to be our Shadow Chancellor.

Additionally, I'd ask Nick to be spokesperson for foreign policy. It means we can use his considerable talents, but at the same time allow him to step aside from the field of everyday politics, and be a (very young) elder statesman figure.

But the leadership is for more than just the short term. It is about who – as a Party – will be speaking for us for the next five years. Because the media will no doubt shut us out now, and at best we will get our leader to appear on TV's Questionable Time or the occasional talking head comment on the news.

(I did wonder briefly, Tim might be "interesting" enough to get the occasional appearance even if he were not leader, which – in Bizarro world – might be a reason to pick Norman for a "two bites of the cherry" approach. But it won't fly. If we want our best – surviving – communicator to be able to communicate, then we'd better decide which of them it is and make him leader.)

So this is the question: are we content as a Party to drift back into quasi-think tank status? Or do we want to say loud and strong that May 7th will not stand.

This Party, this liberal phoenix needs fire. Tim certainly has fire. And it may be that that's what wins it. But if it does I very much hope that his first act will be to put Norman in charge of choosing our campaigns, picking the fights we're going to pick.

I shook them both by the hand and wished each of them good luck. Whoever wins, they'll need it. But more importantly, whoever wins, they'll need the other one too.

PS: 

courtesy of Count Packula: the opening speeches of both candidates.

First to speak was Norman…



…and then Tim.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Day 2543: Nick Clegg: His Hand on My Bottom

Tuesday:


Today it is CONGRATULATIONS to Mr Clogg on being elected as the NEW leader of the Liberal Democrats, with the difficult task of building on the work of Mr Power Cable.

And you can be sure we've chosen the right man for the job!

At the end of his busy day, Mr Nick made a special effort to find the time to answer a few questions from me and my friends Ms Alix, Ms Linda, Mr James and of course Daddy Alex, slotting us in between Mr Paxo and the ITN News. I bet THEY didn't give him a doughnut, though!


He's the boss!
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I know, you are all dying to know how he came to lay hands on my fluffy behind… but first some serious questions.

I started by asking him if he'd seen that Liberal Democrat Voice had been asking people to suggest how to spend his first one-hundred days. Perhaps it was a bit of a TRICK QUESTION, but I asked if this a hundred days business wasn't a bit SILLY and shouldn't we be thinking more about the THOUSAND days until the next General Elections?

Mr Nick did not fall into my TRAP – he was not going to be COMPLACENT. He said he wouldn't put a time on it, but he was aware that there was a window, a NARROW window of opportunity when the new leader of the third party could get to speak to people without the CYNICISM and PRECONCEIVED OPINIONS of the media getting in the way. Mind you Mr Paxo had already had a good go at him!

Was he nervous about the prospect of Prime Monster's Questionable Time, then?

No, not really – in fact he was looking forward to it, if just to get it out of the way. He thinks that politics ought to be broader than just half-an-hour of school-ground bullying in the House of Commons, but he knows that he's going to have to stand up for the Party, that he's got to carry our hopes into the battle. And he realises that sometimes he's going to make mistakes: quite rightly he wasn't going to apologise for that – he's in this for the long run, though.

Because what he really wants is to get beyond this INFANTILE approach to politics and get back to what real people really want.

Ms Alix then floated Mr Balloon – we want to go out there and really tell people that Mr Nick ISN'T any kind of version of Mr Balloon: what three things could he suggest we push to get that message across?

First, Mr Nick made one thing clear: he doesn't take seriously AT ALL Mr Balloon's offers of a "progressive consensus". A CYNICAL MANOEUVRE, he called it. How CAN you take the Conservatories seriously? Mr Balloon is ALL PR: his green ideas are environmentalism without action, his immigration policy is pretty new adjectives, but the same old agenda; he wants to talk internationalism while pulling up the drawbridge to Europe.


Daddy Richard ducked in with a suggestion: couldn't we call his bluff and ask him – if he's supposed to be a "liberal" which are the seats where he will he be standing down his candidates in our favour?

We'll be taking care of Mr Balloon soon, promised Mr Clogg: if it's not me it will be someone very senior challenging him, because it's time to show how VAPID he is.

Where IS the meat? What, for example, does Conservative decentralisation MEAN? We are the only political party that wants to devolve power over raising MONEY to local government. And without control of the money, not a lot else is very meaningful. And the Conservatories have nothing to say, and are never likely to have anything to say, about giving control away like that.

Second, Mr Nick is COMPLETELY RELAXED about comparisons between him and Mr Balloon, because as he says the DIFFERENCES are more instructive than the SIMILARITIES.

Sure, they are both MEN, and of about the same AGE, but look ate what propelled them into politics. Mr Nick's political ideals were formed at the time of Queen Maggie, he reminded us, the time of "no such thing as society" and he reacted AGAINST that bleak and heartless dogma and has struggled against it ever since. Mr Balloon JOINED that Conservatory Party!


Third, Mr Nick's ambition is for the Liberal Democrats to be a power to change politics FOR people; he has no ambition to be an annex to the Conservatory Consensus of Mr Balloon's Conservatories OR Mr Frown's Labour.

[and now, a break: more questions after I've had a sit down and a sticky bun]

Today's result was tighter than anyone imagined, but I like to see that as a ringing endorsement of BOTH candidates and a recognition that we want them UNITED! For unlike the Labour or Conservatories, this leaves us with an EMBARRASSMENT of RICHES at the top of the party, with Mr Nick strongly hinting that he will have a top job for Mr Huhney-Monster alongside Mr Power Cable as well as famous faces like Mr Charles, Captain Paddy and Sir Mr the Merciless.

Our questions and answers with Mr Clogg are set to continue – he made that clear too. Perhaps that's the most important thing that we learnt today: he REALLY MEANS IT when he says he wasn’t to do politics in a new way, and he has the ENERGY and the ENTHUSIASM to carry it through.

Good Luck, Mr Nick, my Leader! We will be back to see how you do!

Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Day 2528: Lessons in Leadership: Millennium Elephant talks to Dr Vince Cable MP

Monday:


Sharp, witty, incisive, charming and sometimes startlingly frank but (thankfully!) not "the greatest leader we never had" (©all newspapers): my friends and I followed up our interviews with Mr Clogg and Mr Huhney-Monster by talking to the man who has the job – and the headlines – that they want: Dr Vince "Power" Cable.

He's clearly having the time of his life: a few weeks in the big spotlight but with no pressure to get elected.

His answers were direct and to the point, shorter than either of the leadership rivals but without the burning passion they both possess.






Economics Guru
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Mr Vince's time at the top could have been OVERSHADOWED by the Leadership Contest, but in fact, as he admitted himself, it has been thoroughly UNDER-shadowed. With the exception of the Sunday Spat, it has been such a polite and well-mannered contest, between two candidates whose opinions on policy barely differ, that editors have played UP his role instead. A boring contest, Mr Jonny asked? Well, handy for me, sparkled Mr Vince.

Although we – and he – steered away from talking directly about his successor, whoever that turns out to be, Mr Vince did have several HINTS for him or her. Well him or him, actually.

The FIRST lesson is that we need to be a bit more AUDACIOUS a bit more BOISTEROUS in order to get heard. Mr Jonny asked about the "Stalin to Mr Bean" quip that has caught the National mood – sometimes we are too POLITE, said Mr Vince, and sometimes we need to cut through to the language of ordinary people. He said that the thing that has touched him the most is going down the pub and hearing people using the Mr Bean line in ordinary conversation.

But wasn't it just the same as the "Punch and Judy" politics of image that did for Sir Mr the Merciless? No, said Mr Vince, because it goes to the issue of PERFORMANCE, and – particularly when Mr Frown has tried to claim the mantel of Mr Competent – it IS fair comment.

It is, said Mr Vince, just plain wrong to criticise someone JUST because they are old… or black... or female or a gay daddy or anything else.

Citizen Alix of that froody land the Republic of Mortimer asks, incidentally, why "Mr Bean" is a worse insult than "Stalin".

I think that it is not WORSE, but it IS more politically DAMAGING.

Mr Stalin was EVIL but he was also STRONG, and that is GOOD for Mr Frown because some people LIKE that in a leader MORE than the more noble qualities like FLUFFINESS and FLAPPY EARS. But Mr Bean is a BUFFOON – and that is NOT good for Mr Frown's position because who wants a buffoon as Prime Monster? (Apart from the over ambitions Mr Buff Hoon, of course.)

I am going to go back to Mr Ian Hislop's old analysis of Queen Maggie: the satirists never managed to score a hit on her by describing her as a DESPOTIC MONSTER because secretly quite a lot of people actually LIKED the idea of her as a cast iron tyrant; it was only when they started to portray her as POTTY that her metaphorical wheels started to come off.

Speaking of POTTY, Mr Paul asked about Mr Frown, if he was, as Mr Alistair Henchman once described him, psychologically flawed, or just plain unlucky. "INTELLECTUALLY flawed", was Mr Vince's answer – after firmly setting the record straight that he and Mr Frown were not "old friends". For one thing, they'd been on different sides of SCOTLAND: Mr Vince having at one time been a councillor for the Labour in Glasgow, when Mr Frown was a particularly PRECOCIOUS Rector of Edinburgh University.

But Mr Frown's FLAW arises from a deep and unshakable belief in the power of government to DO things. Desperately BAD ideas like Tax Credits arise from the ENLIGHTENED idea to try and do some GOOD, give help to the most needy through a scheme of NEGATIVE taxation. Except, Mr Frown was DAFT to believe that the civil service or the taxmen were ever going to be able to pull something like this off: it's simply not in the CULTURE of a bureaucracy to have the delicacy of touch required in cases that vary from individual to individual.

Though of course, in a sense Mr Frown was always DOOMED, since he arrived at the FAG END of the Labour's decade in office with the air THICK with CHICKENS returning home for BEDTIME.

Mr Jonathan asked if there was a secret to success at Prime Monster's Questionable Time. No secret, said Mr Power Cable, in part it's down the right areas coming up, but in part it is down to practice – asking questions in the House for many years, though unreported, has given Mr Vince the experience and confidence to know how to do it. That's a little modest, of course, since even MIGHTY Sir Mr the Merciless famously faltered at his first Questionable Time, and left an unfortunate impression that lingered in the minds of press and public.

That was Mr Power Cable's SECOND lesson: the new Leader has to get off to a good start.


But the THIRD and perhaps CRUCIAL lesson came from Daddy Alex's QUESTION: tell us, in a sentence, what makes the Liberal Democrats different. Mr Vince's answer told us why he is a GOOD leader but not a GREAT one: he referred us to the range of Liberal Democrat policies, where we have clear differences from the Conservatories and the Labour.

I remember that Mr Clogg – who has talked about the need for a NARRATIVE – said that if it was policies that win elections, we'd have been in power since 1945. And Mr Huhney-Monster did have a direct answer for this question: yes, it might have been the first thing he said in the contest – "A greener, fairer Britain with people in charge" – but then the narrative really SHOULD be the first thing that to be said!

Every one of our MPS should have, indeed NEEDS to have an answer to this question. But the Party Leader needs to BE the answer to this question.


Other interviewers talked POLICY, and obviously several had a TREASURY bias: Mr James asked about INHERITANCE TAX – shouldn’t we be more different form the Conservatory Consensus? Ms Alix asked about Heathrow Airport and how to avoid a Government stitch up. Ms Linda asked about debt and what more should be done to get people out of the trap. Mr Jonny asked about our policy of accepting, broadly, the general level of taxation whatever it happens to be and wondered if we shouldn't be more BOLD in declaring what WE think it should be. And Mr James (again) asked about multi-culturalism, on which Mr Vince ahs written a pamphlet – he is a great pamphleteer, you should know.

On IHT: Mr Vince explained that our policy is REDISTRIBUTIVE – paying for a rise in the threshold by catching more gifts in the "potentially exempt transfer" or PET net. Essentially our plan is to make it work BETTER to get the rich people paying more and the average suburban home out of Inheritance Tax altogether. It's a shame that this comes across as a rather dry and dusty difference, when we could be piping it up MORE.

On Heathrow: the battle is by no means lost, said Mr Vince. The Government USED to be able to play the "it's the national interest and they are only N.I.M.B.Y.s" card. But now the environmental case is stronger and the environmental movement more organised. It is true that the Government has a RECORD on pushing these sort of plans through – Mr Vince referred in passing to their plans for STEALTH nuclear reactors. But they also need to change the planning laws, and that means getting the change through the rebels in the Commons and their lordships in the House of Lords Club. There's a chance, a reasonable chance, of it being blocked.

On debt: he welcomed the Government coming to financial education, although admittedly about ten years too late. Meanwhile, Mr Vince insists on the need to pool data on debt, including the data on STUDENT DEBTS, which the Government is STRANGELY COY about revealing. With 85% of all debt being MORTGAGE debt, naturally it is vital to address the issue of the RUNAWAY housing market. But mainly, Mr Vince felt that the banks should be run as UTILITIES – like the water company – and not like CASINOS. They need to be regulated like utilities and offer a return like utilities. After all, the bank is just there to pipe the money to your hole in the wall machine.

On the level of taxation: Mr Vince was STARTLINGLY frank: if we asked the party about which way to move the level of tax, a lot would say HIGHER and another lot would say LOWER. When we had a policy for what he called a "tiny, tiny tax rise" we managed to label ourselves a "high tax party". More importantly, talking about the overall LEVEL of tax interferes with our message of reforming the SYSTEM of tax to make it FAIRER. This I think is a GOOD point, but like the Inheritance Tax one, needs to be communicated better.

This sparked further questions! Ms Alix followed up by commenting on the media COLLUSION with the Conservatories in portraying their TINKERING with Inheritance Tax and Capital Gains tax as in any way IMPORTANT. As opposed to the taxes that have a REAL impact on most people, basic rate Income Tax and, of course, the COUNCIL TAX.

We need to keep repeating our message on local taxation, was Mr Vince's prescription. WE need to convince people that our plan is (a) practical and (b) stands a chance of being implemented.

Mr Paul jumped in saying that we lost Newbury and Guildford to the Conservatories when they took our local income tax numbers and used them to frighten people.

It was always going to be difficult to defend seats that we took from the Conservatories at their lowest ebb, admitted Mr Vince, and perhaps Mr Charles' defence of the tax rate didn't ENTIRELY help on that front. But the plans are better now. In any change to make tax fairer, there WILL be some losers as well as winners but the rate at which people will pay more is much higher, above incomes of seventy thousands of pounds.

On multi-culturalism: Mr Vince challenged Mr James' assertion that we need to CALM THINGS DOWN! In a proper democracy, he said, you should EXPECT some pretty vigorous opinions. And so there was no mistake, he stressed that it WILL get nasty sometimes – the more free and open a society is, then you will see some people saying some pretty EXTREME things. We should AIM for a society where people are free to say things that offend.

And that is why, said Mr Vince, Dr Evan was QUITE RIGHT to go to Oxford to TAKE ON the odious Irving and Griffen, rather than to shout them down.

More BROADLY, he rejected the idea that we should reduce SOCIAL problems to false CULTURAL stereotypes. There are Indian, Pakistani, Chinese and other immigrant communities that have done very well; equally there are some white working class areas with deeply entrenched problems. The right answer is to target help where it is needed based ON need, not on colour or creed.

Mr James also invited Mr Vince to diss his Conservatory opposite number, young Master Gideon Oboe. Mr Vince did not rise to the bait. He's politically smart, he said, like his chum Mr Balloon, Gideon is a "sharp cookie". Of course neither of them have had a proper job, and Gideon doesn't seem to have a proper understanding of economics. Mr Vince's impression is that they're not taken that seriously.

And he's been totally OPPORTUNISTIC opposing the abolition of CGT taper relief (the so-called 80% tax rise) – the Conservatories having OPPOSED the creation of the relief too. At the moment, though, the media think that the Conservatories can do no wrong: it's DIFFICULT not to look good with that kind of "wind in your sails". Not a heavyweight, then, but do not UNDERESTIMATE Mr Oboe's political skills.


Both of my daddies asked about Mr Vince's JOB PROSPECTS. Daddy Alex asked about the Deputy Leadership, shouldn't it have a democratic mandate like the leader (especially since BOTH the two most recent Deputies have taken over); shouldn't it have a broader portfolio to get another Lib Dem voice in the media? And daddy wondered which of his two jobs Mr Vince would give up. Daddy Richard wondered what OTHER job Mr Vince might like to do if NOT the Treasury.

The IMPLICIT idea BEHIND these questions was this: we are only going to have ONE party leader at the end of the month – wouldn't it be a VERY good idea for the OTHER candidate to have a VERY top job. And, basically, Mr Vince is sitting on TWO of them.

Interestingly, Mr Vince's answers were much the same, and clearly he doesn't want to give up the Treasury. Telling Daddy Richard that he has a broad range of experience and would be happy to serve, he avoided picking any particular area that might have suited his fancy, and instead pointed out that he has built up a – thoroughly DESERVED – reputation as treasury spokesperson and it would be a shame and a waste to throw that away. Equally, though, he made clear to Daddy Alex that being Deputy Leader of the Liberal Democrats isn't worth a bucket of spit, when we have to work hard enough as it is to get the LEADER some media time, and anyway, the Party President and Party Chairperson both have the sort of wide-ranging job that daddy described – the Deputy Leader NEEDS a high profile "day job" to be able to lever some attention.

He's right and he's wrong, really. The title "Deputy" may not be worth much on its own, but it does depend on how you use it too. Given the title, someone with ELBOWS could still use it as a way to batter down the odd media door.

And the democratic issues might be worth looking at more too. The idea at the moment is that the Deputy Leader is "just an insurance policy" in case the Leader falls under a bus. (With or without a PEARL-HANDLED REVOLVER sticking out of his back.) So this makes it "okay" that he or she is chosen by the Parliamentary Party as the best person to fill in.

In saying that the Party membership ALREADY had a direct say in electing the Leader AND the President, I think that Mr Vince came DANGEROUSLY CLOSE to saying "don't you have ENOUGH democracy?" Hello: Liberal DEMOCRATS here!

Personally, I think that there is a more PRACTICAL reason for not holding a Deputy Leader ballot party-wide and it's this: either you do it SEPARATELY from the Leadership election, and double the costs, OR you do it at the same time and lose some of the media impact that the Party might generate through CONFUSION.

Does that kind of REALPOLITIC outweigh the obvious goodness of just LETTING our member have a say? Don't ask me; I am just a fluffy elephant!

Mr Vince answered questions a lot faster than either Mr Huhney-Monster or Mr Clogg so, in spite of there being eight of us this time instead of six, and in spite of Mr Vince having to dash off to VOTE a couple of times, we still managed to get a LOT MORE questions in. We even entered a sort of QUICK FIRE round towards the end where everyone was getting more into the swing of things, particularly around the tax issue.

We finished with a more LIGHT-HEARTED question from Ms Linda: should he get his WISH and appear on "Strictly Come Dancing", who would be his partner? You will probably find it CHARMING, but it is also quite interesting that it was for LOYALTY and LOVELINESS that he picked his Treasury CO-STAR, Ms Julia "Worth Her Weight In" Goldsworthy.

Loyal and Lovely are two good words to sum up Mr Vince too.



Follow my leader!
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PS
Afterwards, Mr Vince said that he would be happy to talk to us again! Hmmm... this has given me an IDEA…

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Day 2514: The Leadership Interview… Nick Clegg meets Millennium (and some other people)

Monday:


Both candidates for the Leadership of the Liberal Democrats have kindly agreed to an interview with a panel of Liberal Democrat diarists*.

Today was the turn of Shadow Home Secretary and MP for Sheffield, Mr Nick Clogg and once again your TOP Liberal Democrat elephant was there to ask the questions!


Team Millennium
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In many ways this was the Mr Clogg that we have been WAITING TO SEE ever since the campaign began: relaxed, fluent, comfortable to talk knowledgeably and wide-rangingly around the issues, and with answers based in clear Liberal Philosophy. And, and this was a REAL winner, he actually ANSWERED the questions!

Perhaps the most TELLING moment was when, about halfway in, Mr Clogg confessed the WE made HIM nervous, maybe MORE nervous than an interview with a journalist, because while ostensibly ON SIDE we're also on the INSIDE, with different knowledge, understandings and agenda. It was charming and disarming, and finally I think I understand what people say about Mr Clogg being a "HUMAN BEING".

His answers also showed a good bit of the PASSION which we wanted to see as well as depth and breadth of understanding. Perhaps TOO MUCH breadth, in fact, as – for those who are counting – we probably got fewer questions in.

I think that the KEY to understanding Mr Clogg's campaign is that it isn't "strategy WHAT" but "strategy HOW". The SPECIFICS of policy are that we already HAVE the right policies, but – as he said – if it was just about POLICIES we would have won every election since World War Part II. What we need is JOINED UP THINKING on how we put across what we want to talk about, but ALSO – and in fact even MORE importantly – a recognition of what it is that the general public want us to be talking about.

My own first question was a good example of the MISUNDERSTANDING of this agenda. I said that he began the campaign saying we needed to move beyond our comfort zone – which is GOOD – but that his first announcement was his willingness to go to prison rather than surrender his data to the I.Diot card computer – ALSO GOOD, but hardly not tickling the Party's comfort zone.

Mr Paul Burblings also hopped in, foregoing his prepared question on the economy, wanting to pin Mr Clogg down on two policy examples that would be outside the comfort zone.

BUT, Mr Clogg's idea of moving out of that "comfort zone" is not about adopting this or that POLICY – the "strategy WHAT" approach – but about changing our STATE OF MIND, and rediscovering the ability to talk to people about the issues that matter to THEM not just the ones that are important to us.

When he was a teenager, politics was all about macroeconomics and nothing else – the only choice, crudely categorised as left or right, was "are you an economic illiterate with a social conscience or financially competent with a heart of stone". That old order has TOTALLY COLLAPSED… though the other two Parties seem not to have noticed it!

Mr Clogg, though, wants to look to the future, to the five issues that he thinks will come to dominate the politics of the next decades:
  • powerlessness
  • social stagnation
  • the politics of fear
  • the environment, and why it is only the most important issue for 6% of people
  • globalisation
Above all, he stressed the powerlessness that people feel as a result of the DISCONNECTION between them and the people controlling the organisations, companies and government, that are meant to serve them.

Although that seemed like a long digression, in fact it was amazing to hear him spell out the philosophical underpinning to his thinking.

(If ANYONE still thinks there's a comparison between Mr Clogg and Mr Balloon, just try to imagine Mr Balloon HAVING a philosophical underpinning to his thinking. Or even imagine Mr Balloon just THINKING!)

But then he continued with how he wants to take that thinking and go forward with it.

At the risk of upsetting his colleagues, he suggested that the Party in Parliament has become too obsessed with playing the Westminster GAME: sitting on Green Benches, working in committees, getting that perfect bon mot for a speech at quarter-to-midnight with four other people in the chamber.

What we SHOULD be, says Mr Clogg, is an outward-facing, CAMPAIGNING organisation. At a LOCAL level, we are BRILLIANT at this. We find the things that matter to people, the things that they need or that they need saving and we organise a campaign to get things done. Somehow, at a national level it all falls apart.

Too often, it seems that efforts get focussed on getting a policy passed by conference. Quickly Mr Clogg emphasised that this was NOT a hint that he might want to change the policy-making process; indeed he was proud of and valued the democratic institutions of the party. But it should NOT be the end of the process – get to conference, convince the reps, hooray! – but the BEGINNING.

Equally there is too much COMPARTMENTALISING of responsibilities and TERRITORIALISM: too much not saying anything for fear of treading on toes.

In the most mild criticism of Sir Mr the Merciless, Mr Clogg suggests that he was, in actual fact, NOT MERCILESS ENOUGH! Sir M was too much of a GENTLEMAN to tread on anybody's toes and, in his time – nor in Mr Charles' time either – Mr Clogg does not remember a single time when an instruction came from the Leader's Office saying "this week we are going all guns blazing" on health or on the economy or on policing or anything else. Neither was there ever a time when he was told to really ramp up an issue that he had initiated.

Clearly what is needed is for everyone to all pull together instead of all pulling apart.

As a quick example of what we SHOULD do, Mr Clogg talked MEDIA. We all know that the national media are a bunch of… gentlemen and ladies who don't talk about us. But the LOCAL media – radio, newspapers, local TV – are a much more direct way to get through to people and one where the local MP will have an established strong relationship. What we need is, sometimes, to coordinate our communications – have 64 MPs all pushing the SAME agenda all across the country in the same week and we can start to build up a head of steam. Goodness, the disinterested nationals might even take notice!

(In fact, we know that Mr Frown has tried an end run around the local media but without any actual local action, because Mr David "I am the" Laws spotted him "at it"!)

To return to Mr Paul's question, he did pick out policies: we should have moved EARLIER and more FORCEFULLY on HOUSING, he said, and – coming back at the end – he also said that IMMIGRATION is an area that we MUST talk about. It may be UNcomfortable for US, but all the polling shows that it is up at the TOP of most people's concerns. We do not need to have the SAME answers as the Tweedle-Tory Parties just because we have to address the same questions.

But we DO need to be aware of the map of people's opinions and that it is – often – different from ours. It is not good enough to be winning the debate on the Environment – even though we should and we do! – when it is sixteenth on people's list of concerns and everyone is talking about Immigration.


Speaking of DIFFERENT OPINIONS we could hardly NOT mention the little CONTRETEMPS that occurred on the BBC's Polly-tricks Show.

Mr James asked if Mr Clogg now felt that his "Opportunism Knocks" article for the Grauniad had been justified. Also with us was Ms Linda Jack: Daddy Alex assured us all that as she was here in person this was NICE Ms Linda, as opposed to her FEARSOME online alter ego – sort of a Ms Linda Jack-yl and Blogger Hyde! Ms Linda offered Mr Clogg the opportunity finally to draw a line under the questions of schools vouchers and health insurance. Mr Clogg sighed.

Answering Mr James first, he said that he was not interested in disinterring the past. There is, he said, no point in a Leadership based on winning an argument that is wholly unintelligible to the public. He accepted that there has to be a balance between the inward-looking and the outward-looking in any internal election, but also said that a semantic debate about words he never said anyway was a waste of everybody's time.

Speaking about schools, he talked of what he WAS interested in discussing: finding the two-and-a-half billion pounds RIGHT NOW, not in a couple of years, to really make that investment in education for the poorest.

The premium goes to the SCHOOL, not the pupil or their mummies and daddies. It's not portable so it's not a "voucher".

(Look, this is as boring for you as it was for him, but so that there is no mistake, he DID first made it clear – probably, for him, for the umpteenth time – that he only ever referred to the Pupil Premium, which is Party Policy, and it was the journalist who used the term "vouchers" and has since agreed that Mr Clogg never said the word.)

On insurance, he wanted to be clear that his priority is getting the best outcome, and that he doesn't see why British people should put up with a second best service compared to Europe. For that reason, he remains open-minded about the way that Europe delivers. But that doesn't mean just translating OUTCOMES.

He was wary of any simple answers, and for him JUST saying let's localise power to the Town Hall WAS a simple answer. We need to prove that handing power back to the council actually EMPOWERS people, not just puts a different bunch of bureaucrats in charge. He called for the URGENT transfer to a democratic body the functions of primary care trusts, speaking of his experiences in Sheffield of the ARROGANCE of bureaucrats, deciding whether or not his constituents get health care they need.

This happened to tie in nicely with the next question which was from Ms Mary. She asked – as she had with Mr Huhney-Monster – how Liberal Democrat councils could create a distinctive Liberal Democrat approach.

Our best councils lead the way, he said confidently, citing INNOVATIVE Liberal Democrat councils like Liverpool using IT to improve services to their constituents; providing an all-day telephone service so that the council remains in touch to answer questions.

But he also talked about being the party that REALLY believes in devolution, devolving power further from the Town Hall to people. He spoke appreciatively of Mr Charlie (not a relation of Margo) Leadbeater who has written about user participation in public services.

There is no place, said Mr Clogg, for another party defending the status quo. The agenda of personal empowerment should be and has to be a Liberal agenda.


Daddy Alex threatened to ask two "comfort zone" questions that most leaders find UNcomfortable.

First, with it being Mrs the Queen's Sixtieth Wedding Anniversary (Gawdblesseww Ma'am!) he asked if, in Britain's Liberal Future, the top job should only be open to one family.

Mr Clogg said he would agree IF he thought that it was the top job. But while it remains powerfully SYMBOLIC, the monarchy has EVOLVED over the years and is by now GUTTED of all meaningful political authority.

There is an argument that this makes Mrs the Queen no more than a billionaire bauble, but your idea of value for money may vary.

There would be no merit, that Mr Clogg saw, in launching a broadside against an institution that is now "mostly harmless".

Daddy's second question was perhaps more IMPORTANT, going to the heart of Liberalism.

"We have a habit of paying lip-service to freedom, and then as soon as something comes up saying 'ew, how horrid; let's ban it!' What would you ban and what would you unban and would you follow party policy and work long term to unbanning cannabis?"

"Whoopee!" replied Mr Clogg.

Okay, after giving it some thought, he decided that there WAS something he would ban. He has young children and they watch a television channel called Teeny Pops (or something). He is repeatedly ASTONISHED and REALLY UNSETTLED by his three-year-old remembering the ADVERTS more than the programmes and asking him for some plastic present or other. He feels – and fears – that their innocence is being encroached upon by an insidious campaign. Admitting that it was a difficult debate, he decided that he would give advertising to children the Room 101 treatment.

Unbanning, was more a question of not knowing where to start, and he said he would want to fetch his list of things in the Freedom Bill, rattling off protesting outside Parliament, rights to a fair trial, detention without charge and I.Diot cards straight away. Actually, I think he means he would ban not unban I.D.iot cards and detention without trial, but I am sure that you get his meaning: he is determined to roll back the Labour's anti-civil rights laws.

With a SMALL reminder, he also answered the cannabis question. He began by saying that it's not a debate that can be had in the same terms as a few years ago, because of the established link between new powerful "skunk" cannabis and CRIME.

This is different from the claims that "skunk" is more powerful than used to be, and he is aware that some people are saying that the police raise FALSE FEARS about this, but equally the once pro-legalisation "Independent on Sunday" newspaper has changed their position.

(See also Dr Ben and the Bad Science for some more questions about the validity of this.)

Mr Clogg's answer was that as a party we need to radically reinvent the categorisation of drugs, both illegal AND legal – such as alcohol and nicotine. We need to put the categorisation in the hands of an authority with greater power and independence, and with a statutory obligation to REDUCE HARM.

We should step back and let them examine all the evidence and draw their conclusions.

Daddy Alex pressed him: if they recommended moving a currently legal drug to illegal, or a currently illegal drug to legal, would he legislate? Yes, said Mr Clogg, you would have to follow through the logic of the recommendation.

For further further reading, Mr Clogg suggested the report of the House of Commons Science and Technology Committee into drug classification.


By the end of this, Daddy was urgently waving a NOTE at me to say I should suggest SHORTER ANSWERS. Unfortunately I did not see him before I asked about foreign policy, triggering another seventeen minute discursion!

On the other fluffy foot, I am still GLAD that I did. Not only would it have seemed inappropriate not to on a day when all of us were thinking about the DEVASTATING cyclone in Bangladesh, but also because Mr Clogg seemed to relish the opportunity to get his teeth into a subject that clearly FASCINATES him. No doubt it is the legacy of Sir Mr the Merciless reputation in this area, but I feel very DUMB for forgetting Mr Clogg's long experience in Europe and in negotiation with Russia and beyond.

With the Iraq war fading as an issue, I wanted to know how Mr Clogg would define a Liberal Democratic foreign policy in future, also taking the opportunity to mention – even though she sort of works for the other feller – Ms Lynne Featherweight's discovery of Mr Douglas-Fir's secret slashing of a billion pounds from the overseas aid budget.

Mr Clogg identified A NUMBER of developing AXES in our foreign relations. He mentioned the rise of China and of India and reminded us not to forget regional powers like Brazil. But in particular, he talked about the TENSION between Atlanticism, which he identified as ENDEMIC in the British "establishment", crossing both the other Parties, and the actual and pressing geopolitical situation in which we find ourselves.

If it short-changed us in the past – I wonder to which Middle Eastern war he could have been referring? – it is now in danger of completely undermining us.

The idea is TOTALLY FALSE that all we need for a foreign policy is the LIMPET-LIKE strategy of being a… (Daddy Richard suggests "airstrip") …VASSAL STATE (finished Mr Clogg, and I think that might even be WORSE!)

The CONCEIT that we can be a "bridge" between Europe and America is just NOT TRUE.

And it leads to such STUPID policies as going along with the Monkey-in-Chief's "Son of Star Wars" plan to put anti-missile-missiles in Britain to protect America. It is STUPID because it signs us up to a technologically unproven system that destabilises regional and global politics.

Mr President Putin of Russia is – forgive the pun, it was Mr Clogg's too! – going BALLISTIC!

And STUPIDLY the Labour tried to slip out the announcement without scrutiny in a written reply to the Commons' library. Mr Clogg promised that – if there's been no scrutiny before then – he'll challenge Mr Frown about it in Prime Monster's Questionable Time.

He also talked warmly of the SUCCESS of the European Union in exporting liberal and democratic principles to Eastern Europe, and how we should go further. I said that I HAVE talked about this in my diary, but he said that we do not talk about this ENOUGH!

We should be looking at how we take this to the next level, doing properly what Mr Millipede only half-heartedly hinted at, and looking at North Africa and the Middle East and to Russia too. It shouldn't be all about MEMBERSHIP, he said, we're not IMPOSING ideology like Lord Blairimort tried (and failed) to do, but PROJECTING our ideals.

And, he added, Mr Balloon is completely flaky on foreign affairs – just look at the mess he's got himself into over Europe, making silly promises to his Europhobic Conservatories for short-term advantage and now trying to get out of it by cosying up to Ms Angular Merecat for more photo opportunities.

Mr James got in with another question, this time about DIVERSITY and the idea of an Academy to give the best chances to candidates from minority and female backgrounds. How are we going to pay for it and how are we going to make sure that it gets done.

Well, Mr Clogg admitted, we REALLY need to get this right, because if we don't then pretty soon the advocates for quotas – and he doesn't believe in quotas – are going to have a pretty UNANSWERABLE case. Because if we want to represent the country we really HAVE to be representative of the Country. He said that, as leader, he would be willing to "roll up his sleeves and get his hands dirty" to make sure that this works. He said he's lined up one-and-a-half MAJOR donors already who are willing, indeed KEEN, that their funding be specifically earmarked for the Academy, and there is a physical location – at least for three or four days a week (I THINK that this means time-share, and not that it is in BRIGADOON!) – where the Academy can provide training courses.

But then we were told that it was time to STOP because it was two minutes until we bumped the Independent.

But Mr Clogg still made time for our group photo and I slipped in my LAST question about JAMES BOND: which James Bond are you, Mr Clogg, I wanted to know, Mr Sean, Mr Daniel… or Mr George Lazenby? Well he chose, and he admitted that it would be the conventional answer, to be Mr Sean – though he did ask why no Mr Roger in my list (to be fair, because I wanted a PUNCHY "rule of three") and someone else suggested that he should be "Housewife's Favourite Mr Pierce"!


Mr Clogg doesn't stop for doughnuts
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Mr Clogg left us all on a terrific high. (Subject to taking expert evidence for reclassification: I'll have to see what the other diarists make of it!) Yesterday's FUSS and NONSENSE had left us feeling DOWN about the Leadership Contest, and he managed to restore our POSITIVE ATTITUDE. I think that my Daddies and I had had some QUESTIONS about Mr Clogg's performance in the campaign to date – all that PROMISE and yet never quite delivering… until now. Today he MORE THAN SUCCEEDED in answering those questions.

Of course, this ACTUALLY makes it much MORE difficult for us. BOTH candidates are completely excellent (minor tiff overlooked) and EITHER would do really jolly well as Leader of the Liberal Democrats. What would be MOST ideal is to have a combination of BOTH of them – Mr Huhney-Monster has the ability to pick the right ways to make some noise and get noticed; Mr Clogg has the ability to reach out and connect to people. BOTH of them have strategy – and philosophy – to take the Party forwards.

But really that is HAPPY-MAKING isn't it. Whoever WINS it will be a WIN for the Liberal Democrats.




*The invited diarists were the five people short-listed in the Liberal Democrat Blogger of the Year together with double winner Ms Mary Reid whose diary was both Best Blog by an Elected Liberal Democrat and Best Designed Blog. Mr Jonny, Winner of the Best New Blog award could not be with us today but instead we were joined by Ms Linda Jack, 'cos she asked.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Day 2510: How DO you answer the HUNG PARLIAMENT question?

Thursday:


It's actually REALLY easy!

The BBC's Questionable Time show brought us the BIG DEBATE, Mr Nick Clogg in a pink tie against the blue background versus Mr Chris Huhney-Monster in a blue-check tie against the red background. Your host was Mr David Dimbledonkey with ANOTHER pink tie, though his had gold highlights…the ONLY Liberal Democrat gold on show!

Already, the debate has sparked a LOT of chatter, and not a little HEATED banter, in the Liberal Blogosphere, but the BIGGEST and MOST IMPORTANT question remains to be answered:

Why wasn't I on telly facing the other two leadership candidates?*

No, sorry, that's not it. It's:

If there was a hung parliament, which of the other parties would we support?

We need a SIMPLE answer, a DIRECT answer and an answer that is CONSISTENT with our philosophy and message.

This is it:

If there was a hung parliament TODAY, then we would choose NEITHER of them. If THEY change, then we would listen.

Two sentences; job done.

If the media person challenges you with, "yes but what about AFTER the next election", you can come back with: "the opinion polls ask people how they would vote if there was an election today, not how they might vote in two years' time. And today, we could support neither of them."


It is, of course, a REALLY STUPID question. A "when did you stop beating your wife?" type question, because almost every answer is BAD. The media LIKE asking that sort of question because they think that it makes THEM look clever and the politician look SHIFTY. (They like it even more if they can choose some member of the public to play patsy and ask the question for them, as happened on Thursday.)

Just suppose that the media were to do what they NEVER do and ask Mr Balloon: well, all the polls show that you still CANNOT GET A MAJORITY at the next election, so which of the other parties would you support in a coalition?

Suppose that Mr Balloon says: "well, obviously we support the Thatcherite agenda so we'd back Mr Frown and the Labour."

But that is stupid, because he immediately alienates all the Liberal and centre-right voters who want rid of the Labour and their CRUSHING AUTHORITARIAN POLICIES, a large part of the electorate, and indeed a large part of his own party.

Let's SIMPLIFY and say that there are just six sorts of people: ones who always vote for the Labour, ones who always vote for the Liberal Democrats and ones who always vote for the Conservatories PLUS people who might choose the Labour OR the Liberal Democrats, people who might choose the Labour OR the Conservatories and people who might choose the Liberal Democrats or the Conservatories.

Three of those groups, HALF, might vote for Mr Balloon, and his job is about balancing the interests of the three different groups that might favour HIM. BUT if he says that he'd support the Labour, then not only do the people who might choose Liberal or Conservatory (and so don't like the Labour) choose to vote Liberal, but the voters who swing between the Labour and the Conservatories will vote for the Labour since that is who they would get anyway!

It is a LOSE:LOSE situation. He is giving up the possibility of persuading TWO-THIRDS of those people who might do so to choose him rather than the Liberal Democrats or the Labour.

So instead Mr Balloon is going to HAVE to try and explain that it DEPENDS… on the outcome of the election, the deals that are on offer, the mood of the country… he's BOUND to look like he's ducking it.

Of course, Mr Balloon isn't going to get ASKED the question.

Mr Huhney-Monster was quite right to point out that people never CONSIDER a "grand coalition" of the Labour with the Conservatories, even though it happens all the time in Council Chambers across the country and even though they have practically the same policies.

But it wouldn't happen because Mr Huhney-Monster is ALSO quite right to say that it would soon be defeated and replaced by the Liberal Democrats (not least, because we would finally have the coverage of being the Official Opposition).

Instead, the Labour and the Conservatories are happy to have a BUGGINS' TURN COALITION, where the Ministerial Limousines have different bottoms on their shiny seats but the policies ALL STAY THE SAME.

From 1987 onwards, the Labour were just waiting for THEIR go at running the same policies. And now the Conservatories are only hanging around because they expect that THEY will get to deliver the same policies again soon.

That is why we could not support EITHER of them.

THEY have to change. They have to accept proper Liberal policies. They have to have a FAIR electoral system. Then we will listen.


We need a SIMPLE answer, a DIRECT answer and an answer that is CONSISTENT with our philosophy and message.

This is it: if there was a hung parliament TODAY, then we would choose NEITHER of them. If THEY change, then we would listen.



Oh, and the answer to "when did you stop beating your wife?" is "I have NEVER beaten my wife, and only a toerag like you would even THINK of beating his wife! You disgust me, sir, GOOD DAY!"






[*] Well, it's embarrassingly obvious really: in order to make sure that there was a FAIR CONTEST, I asked half of my Parliamentary supporters to nonimate Mr Clogg and half of them to nonimate Mr Huhney-Monster and half of them to nonimate ME.

Yes, I know! Daddy Richard has now explained to me all about ADDING FRACTIONS and I THINK I see where I went wrong… I left Daddy in charge of the nonimations!

Never mind. I had a chat with Mr Charlie and he explained that being leader would be nothing but a bother as the press would be all over checking on how many sticky buns I'd had every day, going through our bins looking for croissant wrappings and quizzing Ms Sandy Toksvig about my Danish. And when Sir Mr the Merciless told me that the Leader of the Liberal Democrats does not AUTOMATICALLY get to go to the Royal Première of the next JAMES BOND film… well I decided I would be better off on my sofa, watching!


The TROUBLE is that this means that I have to decide between Mr Huhney-Monster and Mr Clogg.

I have already met Mr Huhney-Monster, but I should probably not decide until I have met Mr Clogg too. (Yes, this is a HINT about next week's diary!)

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Day 2501: The Leadership Interview… Chris Huhne meets Millennium (and some other people)

Tuesday:


Both candidates for the Leadership of the Liberal Democrats have kindly agreed to an interview with a panel of Liberal Democrat diarists*.

Today, first up was Shadow Secretary of State for the Environment and MP for Eastleigh, Mr Chris Huhney-Monster and naturally, as a TOP Liberal Democrat, I was there!



Top Liberal Democrat... and friends
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The first thing that strikes about Mr Huhney-Monster is his enthusiasm and energy and keenness to get his message across.

He is a MAN with a PLAN, big ambitions for the Liberal Democrats and a strategy to stop the other parties IGNORING us. He wants the Liberal Democrats, over the next two general elections, to get to a position where NEITHER party can form a government without us. That means working to a plan, like a business plan, where you start by defining where you want to be, and work out what are the target seats you need to support, who are the candidates you need to develop, what is the training you need to give them, how much is the money that you need to spend.

He certainly has the ELBOWS to be Party Leader, and he recognises that we need to USE them – we have to be more aggressive in going out there to sell our story.

As I suggested to him, the party sometimes has a habit of waiting for the publicity to come to us – that certainly does not seem to be the case with Mr Huhney-Monster; he is hungry for every opportunity to put across his ideas. (He's been on Any Questionables, GM TV and PoliticalBetting and that's just over the last weekend! Oh and there he was on the Newsnight Show tonight doing the response to Mrs the Queen's speech.)

If we are to win in the "air war" then his time in journalism has taught him that we have got to beat the "So what?" factor.

The propaganda of politics is about repetition, repetition, repetition. We need to have our KEY POLICIES – and it is obvious that he is passionate that the environment should be one of them – and press them hard.

Mr Jonny cut to the heart of the issue, asking: "In one line: why should I vote Liberal Democrat?"

And to be FAIR, Mr Huhney-Monster HAD an answer:

"Because we want a country that is freer, greener, fairer and where people are in charge."

Yes, it's on his manifesto, but isn't that the POINT?

He speaks eloquently and intelligently: perhaps too intelligently was the suggestion that Mr Paul Burblings put to him. "Sometimes you're said to speak a little sotto voce. In fact, you're the sort of person who uses words like 'sotto voce', words like 'Gaderene', or 'amanuensis'…" (THAT'S how you spell it, Mr James!) "…don't we need a person who is able to communicate with the people in ordinary language?"

But look at the evidence, was his reply. We now have a clear polling lead on the policy of the environment – six points ahead of the Labour or the Conservatories, in spite of all the Hug-a-Huskie stunts and government targets. This is IMPORTANT because sooner or later, and probably sooner, the environment is going to register with the public, as it has in Canada and Australia, and it will go rocketing up the tables of "important issues". And that lead has grown in the time that Mr Huhney-Monster has held the environment brief. That's got to be a measure of success in communication.

But this question of communication, of image, of STORY is obviously central.

Mr James returned to it later, putting it like this: "I can see the way that journalists will write the story: 'oh, those perfidious Lib Dems: they had the chance to elect the MESSIAH and instead they picked this greying accountant' – how do we escape from that story?"

There is, Mr Chris told us, usually a self-balancing mechanism within the press. Even if one story is being pushed there is usually someone who will look at it, think about it and say "but that's rubbish".

Ms Jackie Ashley in the Grauniad on Monday is a case in point, (SHE was saying our first choice shouldn't always be the pretty boys).

Do we want someone who is just young and telegenic, or would we rather have someone actually capable of running a country?

Remember, SUPERFICIALLY Lord Blairimort had ALL of the characteristics of the PERFECT politician: charm, wit, poise, peerages to sell, er. But Mr Chris pointed out that he could talk a good talk but didn’t walk the walk.

(So crooked he couldn't walk in a straight line, if you ask me, but that is another story!)

Mr Chris said no such thing, of course. He just pointed us to Lord Blairimort's speech to the United Nations where he called Climate Change the greatest challenge of our time. And then he flew home to a collection of ministries that were totally all over the place on the issues of practical delivery: abolishing the fuel escalator, expanding road building, and railroading though new nuclear power. All while Lord Blairimort was supposed to be overseeing them from the Cabinet.

So much for telegenic!

My Daddy Alex followed up Mr James point with another question of "narrative": "You say in your manifesto we need to revive our anti-establishment edge. You're the rich guy, the journalist, the politician, and the man from Brussels. If our leader needs to be anti-establishment, how is that you?"

Being a radical is a STATE OF MIND, said Mr Chris. Are you, he asked, on the outside of the establishment, rocking the boat, challenging the statue quo and championing the underdog? That's what the Liberal Democrats need to be doing, and that is where he wants to lead us.

Daddy Alex asked about the question of LEADERSHIP: Sir Mr the Merciless, said Daddy, sharpened up our policy, improved party organisation and by all accounts was better at marshalling the MPs. None of that did him any good – so what IS a leader FOR?

The most important attribute for a leader, replied Mr Chris – and he reminded us that he has lead teams of journalists and economists (the latter are easier to lead; the former are like herding cats) – the MOST important attribute is the ability to know his own strengths and weaknesses and build a TEAM around him that will best compliment those.

But add to that, this: the leader, he said, must be the one to represent the party to people at the highest level. And he has to be someone that the people would TRUST to hold the highest office, someone who looks like a Prime Monster, said Mr Huhney-Monster.

Where, asked Mr James Graham, on the cat herding scale are MPs between journalists and economists?

"I don't know," admitted Mr Chris, "I'll tell you when I've done the job."


But it wasn't all MEDIA PUFF!

Ms Mary (HELLO to ETHELRED!) brought an INVALUABLE alternative perspective, concentrating on the importance of LOCAL GOVERNMENT, a too often over-looked part of our national debate.

Looking to local government, the Labour have picked up much of our language of empowerment so – she asked – how do we craft a unique Liberal Democrat message and get or councils to do things in a uniquely Liberal Democrat way?

Mr Chris answered in two parts.

First, he said, we UNDERSTAND localism in a way that the Labour NEVER will. They talk about devolving power, but what they ACTUALLY mean is devolving managerial responsibility. The DECISIONS are still all taken by Mr Frown from a desk in Whitehall.

Taking away the powers of local councillors is knocking out the fist rung of the democratic ladder. We know that councillors need to be a POWERFUL first port of call for people seeking help from their representatives.

But, secondly, we ourselves need reminding of the principles of local action. We teach ourselves to go out and deliver Focus and we will get elected. But the POINT ought to be to EMPOWER local people, harnessing our skills to THEIR needs. We must remind ourselves that Liberalism is a PHILOSOPHY and use it.

We do need to give real power back to people, he said, recommending the model devised by the public services commission (chair: Mr C. Huhney-Monster). And he told us how SUSPICIOUS he was of ANY centrally imposed solutions – including "market" solutions. We should have the COURAGE to trust people and let them make their own solutions – and, yes, their own mistakes – and come up with different and local answers, not some scheme from the centre.


Ms Mary's other question was that it seems that a lot of the "star treatment" goes to the MPs – how should we increase recognition for leading councillors within the party?

The first thing to say was that properly devolving power to local councils would automatically raise their profiles.

But you are right, said Mr Chris, we SHOULD celebrate our councillors, and he spoke with pride of the councillors who have leant him their support in the Leadership campaign. Councillors, he recognised, are ESSENTIAL to our ongoing success – there isn't anywhere where we have won PARLIAMENTARY seats without first taking COUNCIL seats.


Turning to questions of POLICY, Daddy Alex had the TOPICAL question. "Today was Mrs the Queen's Speech: your manifesto talks about the House of Lords Club being out of date and bad, and how we need a more fair society – would you get rid of the monarchy?"

Mr Chris's answer was: no. But it was an interesting no, because he said that, as a radical, you have to choose cleverly the fights that you get into: pick the ones that are IMPORTANT. By implication, the Monarchy is not a brilliant idea, but it sort of works and we don't have a President… actually we DO have a President, but at least there are still a few things to stop him getting too much of a NAPOLEON COMPLEX!

Clearly, radicalism tinged with PRAGMATISM was to be our watchword.

Similarly, Mr Huhney-Monster's answers were CAREFUL when Mr Jonny raised the issue of drugs: "Your manifesto says we should have the courage of our convictions on drugs policy – what would a Chris Huhne Liberal Democrat drugs policy actually look like?"

He was clear that he wanted to DE-POLITICISE the question of categorisation – insisting it should be based in the SCIENCE and not the opinion columns of the newspapers. And the treatment of addicts should be MEDICINAL. That is, I think, that doctors should be able to prescribe the drugs that people need – as a part of a programme to get them UN-addicted! – rather than having them turn to CRIME to feed their habit.

But he also made clear that he was NOT in favour of a Libertarian legalisation and licensing approach. Citing the "harm" principle of Mr John Stuart Mill and Harriet Taylor, he said that drugs DO do harm to other people, the families and communities of the people who become addicted.

Mr Jonny came back at him straight away: "Isn't that also an argument for banning alcohol?"

Mr Chris reminded us of our Liberal Party forebears' roots in the Temperance Movement – and we should remember that the harm caused by alcohol in the Nineteenth Century, all "gin palaces" and Mother's Ruin, was if anything as bad as the current problems with drugs. But alcohol is different because it is already socially acceptable.

I am not sure that I completely agree. I think that if people are up to making up their own minds about the dangers of alcohol, they are probably able to make up their own minds about the dangers of cannabis or ecstasy.

On the other fluffy foot, Mr Chris RESPECTED that position and I can respect HIS.

Following up on his reminder that "it's the economy, stupid", I wanted to know if it wasn't time to start talking about talking less tax.

It would be COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE was Mr Huhney-Monster's answer, and he explained why. For forty years, the Labour Conservatory battle has been one of "more tax and spend" "less tax and spend" and yet CURIOUSLY the amount taken in tax and spent by the government has remained pretty consistently about 40% of Gross Domestos Product, more or less. A little bit here or their either way that makes not a very big difference, really. The REAL question ought to be about ACCOUNTABILITY.

Millions and billions of pounds are spent with little or no way for the public to have any say in the matter. Take the NHS, said Mr Chris: the front-line elected official in the NHS is the SECRETARY OF STATE; that's got to be ridiculous – how can the Secretary of State know what are the problems in a hospital in Eastleigh or Sheffield or Tower Hamlets?

Mr Paul went to the question of Europe. When the Reform treaty comes to Parliament we will, he presumed, attach an amendment for a treaty on Europe in or out, which will then be defeated. The Tories will then attach an amendment for a referendum on the treaty. Would we then vote with them?

No, said Mr Huhney-Monster. Because the Reform Treaty actually includes within it, for the first time ever, a clause that would allow the SECESSION of a State from the Union. Once that is on the statute book, we can USE that to make sure that we get the referendum on the REAL ISSUE, the referendum that would SUMMARISE all of the referendums that we SHOULD HAVE HAD since the Seventies, the referendums that the Conservatories never gave us into the Single European Act or the Maastricht Treaty or all the others.

(Incidentally, my daddies and I had a THOUGHT about this on the way home and realised that it might actually depend on the ORDER that the amendments are taken. If the CONSERVATORIES' is taken FIRST, then we can vote against with heads held high, knowing our BETTER amendment is still to come; then Mr Balloon faces the VERY TRICKY choice of either voting WITH US, or denying his own Europhobes the very referendum that they REALLY want, or worst option, abstaining, chickening out of giving them that referendum, letting the Government off the hook and being known forever after as Bottler Balloon!)

The Conservatories, as Mr Chris says, are the ones with the REAL problem on Europe, and Mr Balloon must be very afraid of an ACTUAL referendum turning up and exposing his party as SPLIT from top to bottom.

We Liberal Democrats are NOT split, and we all agree with Mr Chris when he said that he would campaign strongly for us to stay IN the Union.

Daddy Alex jumped in with another follow up, referring to Mr Huhney-Monster's "people's veto" proposal. "If one and a half million people signed a petition for a referendum would you agree to support a referendum on the treaty?"

If the people's veto had been on the statute books, then yes he said that it could certainly be used to trigger a referendum. And it was his hope that this would lead to better considered legislation and so more stability, and less of the sort of nonsense where the Home Office adds another crime to the statute every ten seconds.

But, pressed Daddy Alex, what about THIS treaty, if there were a large swell of public support, wouldn’t you be MORALLY obliged to support calls for a referendum. Mr Chris admitted that he would not. (Mr Paxo has NOTHING on my Daddy's HARD STARE!)


As is TRADITIONAL from Questionable Time, we finished with a COMEDY last question – this can be trickier than you think, as it requires the ability to think on your feet and deal with the unexpected and off the wall with humour as well as political nowse.

I asked: do you think that it is time to replace the BIRD of Freedom with the ELEPHANT of Freedom.

Mr Chris was politely positive about me, but reminded me of the EVIL Elephants of America who have sided with the Replutocratic Party. Everyone laughed, but I was PROPERLY ASHAMED!


Mr Huhney-Monster impressed us all, and we were all – I think I can say – a lot more enthusiastic about the Leadership contest after our interview with him. I was particularly happy that the interview avoided unnecessary comparison and focused very much on Mr Chris and HIS qualities, of which there are many. He has, at the very least, once again set the bar VERY HIGH for the other candidate, and Mr Clogg will have a lot of work to do to impress us as much when we meet him later this month.



*This may all seem a bit ELITIST, but do not forget the ONLINE HUSTINGS which will give EVERY Member the chance to put questions to the candidates.

The invited diarists were the five people short-listed in the Liberal Democrat Blogger of the Year together with Mr Jonny, Winner of the Best New Blog award and double winner Ms Mary Reid whose diary was both Best Blog by an Elected Liberal Democrat and Best Designed Blog. (Though Most Humorous Blog, Don Liberali, was – MYSTERIOUSLY – not to be found!) So we were (at least a bit) selected by our peers as top bloggers!


We hope that this format will bring a contrasting and complimentary approach to examining the candidates, and wish them BOTH the very best of luck.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Day 2490: Who'd have Sonic?

Friday:


I am the Leader MASTER of the Liberal Democrats…

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…and you will obey me! (Please!)

PS

A Happy Anniversary to my Daddies Alex and Richard!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Day 2483: It's a Two Horse, One Elephant Race!

Friday:


It looks very much like there will only be two MPs challenging me for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats.

Mr Hewn has launched his campaign and now Mr Clogg has launched his. They have gone "head-to-head" at the Southern Regional Conference and appeared side-by-side on Mr Andy Marrmite's BBC sofa.

It is a difficult thing to have to choose between them: brains and charm, beauty and the beast – and Mr Clogg is just as good!

Mr Nick Assinder wonders: Will We still be the "Lovely Party" at the end of the contest?


The answer is OF COURSE WE WILL. This is not going to cause a falling out: in fact there are hardly any policy differences between them. Though that is hardly surprising since both of them have spent much of the last two years putting these policies together under Sir Mr the Merciless.

(Though I was SLIGHTLY disappointed to hear that both of them agree with Sir Mr the Merciless' policy of not needing a referendum on the Reform Treaty. It would at least have made a way of choosing!)

There is certainly no room for a third candidate to squeeze through the middle… no matter how fluffy and squashy he might be!

The media seem universally agreed that the only choice has to be Mr Clogg. But in spite of that Mr Clogg has VERY MANY good points. However, there is NOTHING more guaranteed to make the Liberal Democrats get ORNERY than telling them they MUST do something, even when it is OBVIOUSLY in our best interest.

I cannot help but remember that the media are the ones who gave a VERY UNDESERVED pummelling to Sir Mr the Merciless. But do we want to risk slapping them in the face? If we choose Mr Clogg we will be pushing at an open door of media support.

But then, I cannot help but remember that the media also told us it had to be Sir Mr the Merciless in the first place. So it may do us not a jot of good anyway.

Mr Hewn seems like the outsider, the maverick, the underdog – all traits bound to appeal to a Liberal elephant's fluffy feelings. His background in economics may be just the thing that is needed to go toe-to-toe with HEAVYWEIGHT CHANCELLOR turned Prime Monster, Mr Frown. He also – and this counts for a lot with me – has the support of Ms Featherweight and Ms Kramer-vs-Kramer. And of course he was brave enough to stand in the last contest, and in many ways it was HIS policy package that won the arguments and transformed the party. His enthusiasm for taking the Green Environment brief is very encouraging too.


Mr Marrmite asked them both who their Liberal Heroes were, and I thought that their answers were very telling. Mr Hewn chose Mr Lloyd George (Liberal Superpower: World War Winner) – that is a BRAVE choice, because Mr Lloyd George is seen as a bit DIVISIVE by many party members. But Mr Hewn DEFENDED him, saying not only was he a GREAT Prime Monster during World War part One, he was also one of the few to really understand what was needed during the Great Depression.

This was telling because it was saying: "look, I am the economic brainiac".

Mr Clogg though trumped him by claiming as his Hero Mr Clarence Henry Willcock (NOT a relation of Daddy Alex, except in SPIRIT) (Liberal Superpower: not being invisible). Mr Wilcox back in 1950 was, as you very well know, the FIRST person to say "No2id". Ironically, there is some confusion over his IDENTITY: the Observer naming him as Trevor Wilcox while the, er, Grauniad has Clarence Willcock. Either way, it did my daddies no end of good to hear Mr Clogg choose HIM!

THAT was telling because it was saying: "I am the ordinary guy, the ordinary guy with the IMPLACABLE Liberal instinct.")

In fact Mr Clogg's answer to the first question was also very good, and in the same vein. "People call you Mr Balloon-lite," said Mr Marrmite. "What do you say to that?"

"Well the only REAL similarity is that we're about the same age," replied Mr Clogg, "which means that for both of us, our political opinions were formed during the era of Queen Maggie. Now I saw that heartless, desperate, soulless Conservatory vision and, where Mr Balloon chose to embrace it, I was appalled it. That made me a Liberal for life."

I thought that Mr Hewn got a slightly worse deal from Mr Marrmite, since he was asked fewer questions – even if one of those was an EASY one pitched by Mr Clogg. But he DID get to put forward his vision of us as the REAL RADICALS – unlike the "Tory Twins", the other two parties rushing to adopt identical positions. We are the ones who want to go beyond changing the Government and change the entire SYSTEM: give the power back to everyone.


Anyway, OBVIOUSLY all of the MPs actually wanted to nonimate ME, but I have persuaded them that at least a few of them ought to back Mr Hewn or Mr Clogg, so that – unlike the Labour – we can have a PROPER CONTEST.

And may the best FLUFFY ELEPHANT win, I say!

PS:

Mr Richard Huzzey on the Liberal Democrat Voice beat me to the use of my title!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Day 2480: While I do not seek the office, should my colleagues persuade me that that is the best way I can serve, I might reluctantly have to accept

Tuesday:


Apparently, I already have a CAMPAIGN TEAM, running my LEADERSHIP BID.

Oops!

I had better address the TROOPS…

Fluffy Friends,

Liberal Democrats are the FUTURE.

We already have BETTER ANSWERS: cut back the Labour's excessive and intrusive burden of laws (setting you FREE); reduce your Income Tax and abolish your Council Tax (making it FAIR); make the Green Tax Switch, invest in technology, and get the railways REALLY working (turning Britain GREEN).

But a NEW LEADER should bring a NEW VISION, so here is MINE: in 2012 there will be the London Olympics. Let that be our TARGET.

Let us try and get ZERO EMISSION CARS on the roads before then – let's try and make them the GREEN GAMES, and show the world our commitment to saving the planet.

And they shouldn't be JUST the London Olympics, they should be the BRITISH Olympics, and that means that EVERY ticket to the games should include FREE, yes FREE, railway (and tube) travel from ANYWHERE in Great Britain (and a Free Ferry if you live in Northern Ireland or the Scottish Isles or the Isle of Wight and so on).

And the Olympics should be the INSPIRATIONAL EVENT for a generation. That means they must be the Olympics for SCHOOLS – and not just the sporty kids: we should also invest in OLYMPIC SCIENCE and OLYMPIC ARTS prizes. That doesn't have to be nationwide: that can be LOCAL initiatives, down to communities what they want to do to reach for the Olympic Spirit. A Brass Band Competition or a Beach Clean-Up; Community Art Programmes or Local History Groups tracing their sporting family trees: let's really push that brand.

And what an opportunity to reach out to other nations across the world but especially in the European Community: exchange programmes – with added Olympic Tickets – so that the young people of our continent can mingle and learn from each other.

It's a campaign with several crucial steps along the way – the London Mayoral race next year, the European elections the year after, local elections and ultimately the General Election, whenever Mr Frown dares to call it.

My idea is for a campaign that BRINGS TOGETHER all parts of our Party, and reaches out to every region of our country. Together we can succeed! Together we can WIN!


This has been my SIX HUNDREDTH diary, brought to you by the miracle of FACEBOOK.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Day 2479: The New Leader Speaks! aka So, Farewell then, Sir Mr the Merciless

Monday:

I do not know what has left me more SHOCKED: the suddenness of Sir Mr the Merciless' departure, or the speed with which I have found myself being talked up as a potential PARTY LEADER alongside Mr Clogg and Mr Hewn.

(Within minutes of the announcement, Mr Kiss-me Guru-Murphy was trying to get me "live" on the Channel Four News, and know-nothing numbskull Mr Nick "Mate of Dave" Robinson wanted me on Parson's Green for the "Ten".)

But I have to ask: if 66 is too OLD to lead a political party, is 7 [R: 6] too YOUNG?

Personally, I almost fell off my sofa: I thought Sir Ming was In-Vince-ible… until Mr VINCE did him IN!

On the other fluffy foot, at least our very own TERRACOTTA WARRIOR Mr Hugs has agreed to be INTERRED with the Emperor Ming.


So, what WOULD I do if I really DID become Leader of the Liberal Democrats?

Well, it seems to me that there are several urgent tasks to get on with.

First things first, we MUST massively increase our public profile. Everyone seems to agree that Sir Mr the Merciless suffered DEATH BY MEDIA – his leadership ended up SUFFOCATED by lack of coverage. It is not IMMODEST to admit that I am very CUTE – and I am VERY good at sitting on my sofa, a large part of today's daytime media duties for the busy party leader – but there is only so far that a fluffy face will carry you in the world today.

We need a press team that can create a BUZZ, and that can BLITZ THE PRESS into attending OUR events, and covering them the way that they cover Mr Balloon's stunts. Not that we should DO stunts, as such, but we should plan to be more STARTLING: launch our Nuclear Policy from the Greenham Common Peace Camp or our prison plans from a young offenders institution; see lovely Sarah Teather and me climb to the top of a HUGE Wind Turbine in Scotland or watch me and Captain Ashdown parachute into Afghanistan with emergency medical supplies…

It would mean a larger team, and that means more volunteers, maybe some sort of INTERN scheme. With today's technology, a large team DON'T all have to be in Cowley Street: e-mail, instant messaging and telephone conferencing can all play their part in keeping people briefed.

But we need them to be chasing down the news – especially the BBC – when they don't give us coverage and when they get things wrong. And we want to be GOOD when they give us balanced coverage, reward them with the good interview, the interesting story. We want for them to be HAPPIEST when they just need to phone up the Liberal Democrats and we have the informed comment that they want.

What happens at the moment? Mr Frown fails to call an election, the Conservatories' polls go up and our polls go down. From THIS (39:33:19) to THIS (36:43:14).

Quite simply: THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. Good journalists shouldn't be satisfied with just reporting that, but we need to help them make the story.

The pat explanation that "it's a third party squeeze" is NOT an explanation at all: it is just DESCRIBING THE SYMPTOMS in a different way.

The Conservatories have announced ONE policy – a cut in Inheritance Tax. We announced LOTS of policies, but MOST IMPORTANTLY we announced a FOUR PENCE CUT IN INCOME TAX.

If people are switching their votes because of a TAX CUT then OURS is a LOT BETTER than theirs.

(Which would YOU rather have? More money maybe when Granny dies, if she's RICH, or 20% less Income Tax RIGHT NOW?)

Therefore the media's explanation for the poll shift is WRONG and we need to be challenging that.

What are the issues that are ACTUALLY of concern to people? Families that think they are being PENALISED by the benefits system just because they are MARRIED – do they KNOW that Liberal Democrat policy is to make sure everyone is treated fairly? No, of course not. We need people to know that we are the "fair deal" party. People who are too FRIGHTENED to go out on the streets – do they KNOW that Liberal Democrat Councils have a fantastic record of success in tackling anti-social behaviour. Do they know that we want to recruit thousands of extra police AND let them get on with their job, not fill in forms. No, of course not. We need people to know that we are the "freedom from fear" party.

We have a TERRIFIC policy platform, and when people ACTUALLY HEAR our policies lots of them realise that actually they are Liberals too. More than that, we have terrific strength right here in the Lib Dem blogosphere for forensic analysis, pithy comment and rapid response. Let's really USE that resource.

The important thing for us is to BE HEARD – get us a FAIR SHARE of coverage and we are halfway to victory.


But we mustn't forget the Party's most IMPORTANT asset: its members.

Sir Mr the Merciless has revitalised the party in Parliament, but I would want to get out there and re-energise the activists, meet with as many local parties as possible. After a second leadership challenge, I bet the party's loyal workers will be feeling a bit shell-shocked and a bit nervous about the future and a bit uncertain about this new fluffy elephant who has come from nowhere. So I will want to make sure that they know that THEY are the important ones, and that they are being LISTENED TOO, and that their new leader is NOT AFRAID of getting his big fluffy nose stuck in a few LETTERBOXES on the front lines with them.

Even with more than two years to the election, that's only a-hundred-and-some weeks, giving a good meeting to one local party a week is still only going to cover our top targets. We need to move from local campaigning to SMART campaigning – we need better lines of COMMUNICATION between the local parties and regions and the leaders office, so that we will make the best use of MY time and YOUR time.

I would want to use the tools of technology to give members a greater input into the party's national activities – the campaigns that we choose to press, the issues we support, even the questions at Prime Monster's Questionable Time.

Ah, yes, Prime Monster's Questionable Time – I am going to need some sort of GREEN LEATHER HIGH-CHAIR.

What we COULD do is set up greater feedback between the membership and the leader – they can raise the issues that they really want put to the Prime Monster; I can explain why I chose to go with one question rather than another, and what I thought of the Prime Monster's reply – if he actually gave one!

But Questionable Time is a bit of a JOKE really, a pantomime battle that usually only makes you look stupid. Sadly.

Many people think that the world made up its mind about Sir Mr the Merciless at that every first QT when he stumbled over a heckler. And while it is true that Questionable Time is not as important to real people as those watching would like to believe, it is ALSO true that first impressions last, especially among opinion formers like the sketch-writers. One important thing to remember is always to begin with offering CONDOLENCES to the families of soldiers lost in the wars. It is important that Parliament remember each week that people are dying because they voted for it.


I think that we should adopt Mr Jonny's idea: the Prime Monster should continue to have to answer questions from BACK-BENCHERS… but once a week, ON TELEVISION, he would sit down with Mr Balloon and me and we would ask him questions. (To be fair, Mr Frown should also be able to challenge us to say what we would do differently.) We ALL know the tricks that politicians can use to avoid answering tricky questions in an interview… which would mean that we can any of us point them out when they are used.

It might, just MIGHT, mean there was less posturing and shouting and more discussion of things that actually matter. When are our soldiers coming home? What are we doing about Foot and Mouth, and when will farmers be able to sell their sheeps and cows? What evidence is there – if any – that taking away our civil liberties has made ANY difference to the terror threat? How much have I.D.iot cards cost THIS WEEK?

If we can ask some questions about the issues, it could genuinely lead to a national debate, rather than a silly slanging match once a week and media interviews about personality rather than policy.

Because we need to reach out, way out, beyond our own comfort zones to the huge numbers of voters, often young voters, who don't vote.

If Mr Wedgy Benn, at the age of a-thousand-and-three, can fill a theatre for a talk about politics then so can I. I've got to! It's not that people out there aren't interested; it's just that they think we're not listening.

It's like Europe, and the new European Treaty. People WANT to join the debate – and fair enough it MAY just be to vote against Europe by proxy, but (and I've said this before) if we trust the people then sometimes we've just got to take it on the chin. We should SUPPORT calls for a referendum on the new treaty. And we should go out there and try to WIN the argument, not duck the fight.

You think that is an EASY WIN for Mr Balloon? Not a bit of it – we are united on Europe in a way that the Conservatories can NEVER be. The more we talk about Europe, the more opportunities they have to TEAR THEMSELVES TO PIECES. (You KNOW they're just gagging to do so!)

I think that Sir Mr the Merciless OUTSMARTED the Media in the end. Once those QUESTIONS of leadership have been raised, they tend to stick around like bad smells. Mr Balloon would do well to remember that – Mr Oboe may have covered them up with a WHOLE CAN of Ozone unfriendly AIR-FRESHENER (Inheritance Tax Lily Fragrance, naturally) but they will soon come back once his big poll lead dips again.

Sir M cut the Gordian Knot – or more appropriately the "Gordon" Knot – by going in his own time. Not a ditherer he. Like many other Liberal Democrats, I say we can be proud of his honour and dignity. Instead of letting them get ugly, he has left many of the papers IMPRESSED with his integrity. He has turned ADVERSITY into OPPORTUNITY!

Now we need to rally to a new leader, one who can reach out and grasp that opportunity with a FLUFFY FOOT!

With your support I will lead us into the next FIFTEEN general elections!

Vote early, vote often, vote elephant!

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