...a blog by Richard Flowers

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Day 3531: Lord Blairimort's "Journey" …straight to HELL


Frankly, I don't want to see Lord Blairimort interviewed unless it is UNDER CAUTION.

But there he was anyway, with Mr Marrmite, all rictus grin and self-justifying twaddle, dismissing the worst recession ever as "prosperity interrupted" and, worse, implying that his Middle Eastern victims "would probably have been killed anyway".

He was clearly worried that the flesh-toned make-up would run under the studio lights revealing the bone-white pallor, blood-red lips and shocking-green hair underneath.

(Oh go on, admit it: he DOES look like The Joker. The more steeped in EVIL he gets, the more his true "Joker-face" shows through!)

Lord Blairimort's problem, or from his own point of view his greatest asset, remains his wilful blindness to his own failings.

The plus side to this absolute lack of self-doubt is that it makes him the consummate politician: he doesn't NEED to fake sincerity; he genuinely believes whatever it is he says that comes flying out of his mouth (at least for the moment that he says it). The down side is that he thinks he's on a mission from GOD and won’t listen to any other voices (other than "the voices").

Mind you, it's not stopped him developing a really annoying tell: whenever he's going to tell a REALLY obvious whopper, he can't help GRINNING. In fact, when it came to saying "the Iraq war WAS legal" he even started to GIGGLE.

It's possible that he just no longer CARES what anyone else thinks, but what seems more plausible is that he's created his own personal purgatory where HE thinks he's the last honest guy, but NO ONE in the world believes him and he just can't understand why.

"You've got to understand that there IS another point of view," he tried pleading. Well, YOU never accepted that, did you Lord B. A million people marched, but they were all traitors and collaborators and Saddam-lovees.

Really, I'd have more sympathy but, you know, killed hundreds of thousands of people.

It remains impossible not to be TERRIFIED that this MANIAC is still dubbed with the title of "Middle East Peace Envoy". Even HENRY KISSINGER looks shiftily at his Nobel Peace Prize at the thought of THAT.

"There is not a part of the Middle East that is not touched by the same problem that Iraq had," insisted the former First Among Poodles, and both my Daddies shouted out: "Yes, it's YOU!" at the same time.

His bellicose approach to Iran and the danger of their acquiring atomic weaponry demonstrates most clearly that he has learned NOTHING from the DISASTER he helped to precipitate when he conspired with the Monkey-in-Chief to obliterate the Iraqi regime… and anyone who happened to be living within a hundred miles or so of where it was standing.

Looked at from Iran's point of view – and you've got to understand that there IS another point of view, don’t you Lord B, pardon my SARCASM – they haven't invaded ANYONE!

They liberated themselves from a (Western-backed) dictator; they defended themselves from a (Western-sanctioned) invasion from Iraq; they observed the use of (Western-supplied) weapons of mass destruction by the Baathist regime; and they saw a just-plain-Western attack on their former enemy, OUR former ally, when he stopped playing ball. They see us break our own UN rules, they see us turn a blind eye to Israel's rather unsubtle nuclear posturing, they see us doing highly suspicious deals with former foes like Libya, they see the way we turn tail and run when North Korea DOES get the bomb.

Honestly, what are they SUPPOSED to think? Cos I'M stumped!

I'm not saying it's all sweetness and light in the Islamic republic – any country that executes people for being gay daddies (even if they're not!) goes straight to the top of the VILE-O-METER as far as we're concerned (obviously in the UK we merely SMEAR them as gay daddies… even if they're not).

Great Britain's involvement in the Middle East STARTS with LAMENTABLE and goes rapidly downhill from there. Peace and democracy are only created by TIME, not military invasion. And the Iraq war has done NOTHING but entrench hostilities and encourage deranged terrorists across the region.

Asking Lord Blairimort to bring PEACE now is like asking GODZILLA to take charge of Tokyo's town planning. You end up with nothing but ASHES.

The interview concluded with Mr Andy asking Lord Blairimort about his LEGACY.

Hard Labour losing the election was, of course, all Mr Frown's fault, hilariously because he hadn't been "New Labour" ENOUGH.

But if there's anything to CHILL your BONES about the path the Coalition is currently treading, it is Lord Blairimort's tacit endorsement of our policies.

Most telling moment?

Mr Marrmite asks: "your Journey sounds like someone who started out in Labour and moved until he realised that he was a Conservatory and not Labour."

Lord Blairimort: "Well I'm not… er, a Conservatory."

BUZZZ! Hesitation AND deviation!

There's a TWEET going around:
Brighten your day! Move copies of Lord Blairimort's book to the CRIME section of your bookshop.
Sadly it seems Lord Blairimort's signing tour is being interrupted by protestors and he's cancelled at least one appearance. [Added: and another one!] Apparently he was convinced that they could deploy eggs and shoes within forty-five minutes…

People have suggested that the donation to charity of all the proceeds (or is it profits) from his TOME is some kind of BLOOD MONEY, the ex Prime Monster attempting to buy FORGIVENESS for all his crimes, as though the newly-Catholic Lord Blairimort couldn't purchase an INDULGENCE or two from Mr the Pope.

But I'm afraid I can't ascribe anything like so HUMAN a motive to him. To want to BUY forgiveness he'd need to show some sign of WANTING it or even some understanding that he NEEDS it.

No, I'm afraid I think that his donation is more to do with his status with his new chums among the super-rich: it's a gesture of "look how much money I can give away", a keeping up with the Jones only with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet instead of the Joneses.

Still, the British Legion will do very nicely out of it, as the book appears to be selling like hot cakes. Or indeed like yellow cake uranium.

Maybe good intentions are running thin, and the Devil needs a load of doorstops to pave the road to hell. It is, after all, a Journey.

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