A new report from the Competition Commission:
"No, no, no, Mr Beelzebub is not in the classical sense EVIL. Yes, we admit that there may be SOME technical concerns about restrictive practice involved in the selling of souls business… And we're not COMPLETELY happy with everything that is going on between the Prince of Darkness and his minions in the National Farmers' Union, viz use of red-hot pitch-forks… And we MAY have to consider requiring him to release to other demons some of the 'land bank' that he has built up in the property of 'Hell'… But there is no doubt that the public are getting the very best quality of service in provision of maleficium.
"On the whole, people are getting the devil that they desire."
Well, no, they are just getting the devil that they DESERVE.