Day 2116: Why Mr Balloon, what a SUSPICIOUSLY FAMILIAR tax policy

Thursday:


So, the Conservatory Tax Commission has said let's have WHOPPING GREAT TAX CUTS, without saying anything about how to AFFORD them.

Mr Balloon has said: "Hangin' with the kids, I'm going to be sensible, give the washing up to the maid, and not promise any tax cuts. Not like these ones – these lovely ones here. Aren't they lovely? You'll only get them if you vote for me. Not that that's a promise you know? Why not vote for me anyway? Now, where is Consuella with my ironing?"

Does this not sound very much like OFFERING people a VERY NICE CAKE and then saying that you are NOT going to PAY for it?

Isn't not paying for cake sort of stealing?

And speaking of stealing, then we come on to where the Conservatories policies CAME FROM!


At the Liberal Democrats' conference last month, Sir Mr the Merciless announced new tax proposals.

To save the environment it is time for the GREEN TAX SWITCH, raising taxes on harming the environment and using that money to pay for:

• Cutting the basic rate of tax by 2p

• Abolishing the 10p rate altogether

• Raising the personal allowance to £ 7,185 to take the lowest paid out of tax altogether, and

• Raising the upper rate to £50,000 to reverse years of Mr Frown sneakily taking more and more people into higher rate tax.

Now the Conservatories come up with "their" ideas for:

• Cutting the basic rate of tax by 2p

• Abolishing the 10p rate altogether

• Raising the personal allowance to £ 7,185 to take the lowest paid out of tax altogether, and... do you see where this is going?

What is VERY peculiar is that no journalists have asked:

"But Mr Balloon, this just doing the Liberal Democrat's policies – do you not have any policies of your own?"

Perhaps the answer to this question is TOO OBVIOUS!


Of course, the plans are not COMPLETELY the same: the Liberals want to abolish some benefits for higher rate tax payers in order to make sure they can afford the tax cuts for everyone – while the Conservatories want to abolish Inheritance tax and Capital Gains tax on share-dealing: basically more tax favours for the very rich.

And, er, without saying how they will pay for any of this.

Except of course Mr Balloon says he won't have to pay for any of this (ha ha!) as he won't do it unless he finds the money under his magic money tree.

His chum Mr Boy George Osborne describes this as choosing from a MENU. (I am sure that Sir Digby Chicken Caesar calls it choosing from the menu as he rummages through the bins round the back of someone else's headquarters too!)

The Conservatories new position is being "responsible" on tax.

Personally, I think that this is more a political DANCE OF THE SEVEN VEILS.

No wonder Mr Balloon does not want MP's getting stuck into the veil row!