Tuesday
Last month, Mr Balloon gave his chum Mr Vague the job of sorting out the vexed question of how to either get the Conservatories MEPs out of their European Parliament group or get out of getting the Conservatories MEPs out of their European Parliament group.
Mr Balloon gave his chum Mr Vague a month to sort out, and this was a month ago – so it must now be sorted, mustn't it?
The answer is YES: Mr Balloon has kept his promise to pull his MEPs out by, um, not pulling them out YET.
He's managed to break his promise, say he'll join the nutters AND done it in twisty DOUBLE-TALK!
Isn’t this sort of thing why people make jokes about Lord Blairimort only lying when his lips move?
Good going, Opus Dave!
At least he is not delivering the CHAMBERLAIN lecture on the same day. (That's not until Friday.)
Still, this opens up a whole new range of opportunities for Mr Balloon.
Next week, he will announce that he has fulfilled his pledge to return the Conservatories to government! And the week after, he will celebrate fulfilling his pledge to win four consecutive general elections.
After that he can announce that his promises to bring about world peace, end greenhouse gasses and find a cure for cancer have all be met by a grateful nation.
Then, satisfied with a long and successful political career ahead of him, he can announce his RETIREMENT and never be heard of again!
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