What is the world coming to? Well, a STICKY END, it would appear – but at least everyone seems to be agreed on that now!
Obviously it is a BIT of a rum do when a lot of scientists submit their workings and it is up to a bunch of politicians to say whether they are right or not. You might think that in a SENSIBLE world it would be the other way around.
So, the general problem is that there’s not going to be enough water for lots of places and the land for growing food is going to get a good bit smaller. Not to mention the most diverse ecology in the world, the Amazon rainforest, turning into a grass car park. Still, who needs oxygen? Meanwhile here in Britain scuba diving is to become part of our daily commute.
How doomed are YOU? Well, here is a handy BBC map to tell you.
But this is actually the SECOND report into Climate Change because, like Doctor Who, they come in a SERIES this year. All that was missing was the bit at the start where Giles-from-Buffy says: “Previously on ‘So this is it, we’re all going to die!’.” In the LAST report, it was agreed that something is going on and that it is probably YOUR fault.
Unfortunately, we all have to wait for part three before we can find out what we are supposed to DO about any of this.
So, could everyone please not PANIC in the meantime and we’ll see if we can agree on some ideas that the Chinese and the Americans will actually let us do.
You know, sometimes I don’t think you people are even TRYING to survive.
Where are the “Recycling Can Be FUN” initiatives? Where are the “Cycle to Work and Leave Your Shoes and Chauffeur Behind” schemes? Where are the ALIEN SPACE LIZARDS trying to sell you a “Clean up your planet electric whisk with filter coffee attachment”? I still think we have not put enough thought into the idea of everybody going to the seaside and blowing on the ocean till it cools down a bit.
I have said it before and I will say it again: the future should be FUN, not all of this grim death nonsense.
Saying “Billions will perish” just makes you sound like Sean Connery doing his Avengers-villain accent. If everyone makes a little change, we CAN all work together to make a really BIG difference.
The future is OURS to make – let’s make it better!