Day 1896: Freeview

Sunday:


I have managed to build a new television out of LEGO.

I have told my Daddies that the picture looks like this because it comes from FREEVIEW. Daddy Alex is suspicious – he thinks it looks better than usual.

Freeview is a new way of watching television. It works a bit like my DVDs, by breaking the picture down into numbers. But instead of scooping them all up onto a lovely shiny disc, the television people hurl them into the air in the hope that your telly will catch all of them.

I have tried to catch some of these numbers with my big fluffy ears but it does not work. I suspect that there is INTERFERENCE because I keep receiving messages from ALIENS instead.

Freeview used to be advertised by GIANT EXPLODING HEADS flying over the country. Apparently people found this head-explodingly terrifying. Well I could have told you that! Nowadays they have MARGO from the GOOD LIFE telling you how very nice it is in her VERY REASSURING voice.

Soon it will not be possible to watch television in the old fashioned way and everyone will have to have Freeview. This is supposed to be better, but PERSONALLY I am not sure that letting giant exploding heads roam the country is a COMPLETELY good idea.


Also in the news, the CLONE of Mr Blair who runs the London police is in trouble AGAIN.

Apparently he has been caught making a SECRET TAPE RECORDING of a telephone conversation. It turns out the conversation was ABOUT making a SECRET TAPE RECORDING of telephone conversations.

I have looked up IRONIC.

According to BALDRIC, Irony is like Coppery and Bronzy only made of Iron.

I am NOT SURE that this is right!

In case you haven’t guessed, my Daddies are back from their holiday. You would think they had been to the NORTH POLE with all the fuss they make about the cold. If they have been to the North Pole, then they should have brought me presents from FATHER CHRISTMAS! (NOT!)